Thought we could use a little levi-ty in here.
Did you know that they are now selling kosher computers? They are made in Israel and are called DELLSHALOM. If you or a friend are considering buying a Kosher computer, there are some important upgrades and changes from the typical computer you are used to that you should be aware of, such as:
1. The cursor moves from right to left. It comes with two hard drives: one for fleyshik business software and one for milchik games.
2. Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now gets "Ferklempt".
3. The Chanukah screensavers include "Flying Dreidels"
4. The PC also shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
5. After the computer crashes and dies, you must dispose of it within 24 hours and sit sheva before buying another.
6. The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go already -I'm not getting any younger!" button.
7. When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, you are instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus."
8. The multimedia player has been renamed to "Nu, so play music already!"
9. The Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.
10. "Hava Nagila" plays during start-up.
11. Microsoft Office now includes, "A little byte of this, and a little byte of that."
12. When running "Scandisk," it prompts with a "You want I should fix this?" message.
13. If you run too many programmes at once, the software warns you with a loud "Oy Gevalt!"
14. There is a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that advertises that it gets rid of the "schmutz und drek on your monitor" and is kosher of course.
15. After 20 minutes of no activity, the PC goes "Schloffen."
16. Computer viruses can be cured with some matzo ball chicken soup.
17. The Y2K problem has been replaced by Year 5761-5762 "issues".
18. If you are too lazy to shut down in the prescribed manner, the following message appears: "You should be ashamed of yourself."
19. When Spellchecker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you can do?"
20. And remember: With a kosher computer, you can't get Spam.
Did you know that they are now selling kosher computers? They are made in Israel and are called DELLSHALOM. If you or a friend are considering buying a Kosher computer, there are some important upgrades and changes from the typical computer you are used to that you should be aware of, such as:
1. The cursor moves from right to left. It comes with two hard drives: one for fleyshik business software and one for milchik games.
2. Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now gets "Ferklempt".
3. The Chanukah screensavers include "Flying Dreidels"
4. The PC also shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
5. After the computer crashes and dies, you must dispose of it within 24 hours and sit sheva before buying another.
6. The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go already -I'm not getting any younger!" button.
7. When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, you are instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus."
8. The multimedia player has been renamed to "Nu, so play music already!"
9. The Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.
10. "Hava Nagila" plays during start-up.
11. Microsoft Office now includes, "A little byte of this, and a little byte of that."
12. When running "Scandisk," it prompts with a "You want I should fix this?" message.
13. If you run too many programmes at once, the software warns you with a loud "Oy Gevalt!"
14. There is a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that advertises that it gets rid of the "schmutz und drek on your monitor" and is kosher of course.
15. After 20 minutes of no activity, the PC goes "Schloffen."
16. Computer viruses can be cured with some matzo ball chicken soup.
17. The Y2K problem has been replaced by Year 5761-5762 "issues".
18. If you are too lazy to shut down in the prescribed manner, the following message appears: "You should be ashamed of yourself."
19. When Spellchecker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you can do?"
20. And remember: With a kosher computer, you can't get Spam.
