Foster parenting

Tink · Jun 18, 2005

Is anyone here, or would anyone here consider being, a single foster parent?

My friend is a single foster mother of three children. I really admire her for it, and I was just wondering how common it is. Do you have an opinion concerning single foster parents vs married foster parents? If so, what is it?

Just curious.

In His love,
Tink

london boy · Jun 19, 2005

As someone who has worked with kids, I would have no problems with that. I am also open to adoption too. However, I'm not sure how easy it would be to set the wheels in motion as I do not know what conditions there are in order to be able to be a single foster parent

Marissa · Jun 19, 2005

My father works as a Child Safety Officer here in Australia. Now, to explain that title, he's the guy who places children with foster carers (Not the guy who decided to take the child from their parent though), he then follows up with the childs process, how the foster parents are coping etc. etc.

I actually spoke to him about single foster parents yesterday. Apparently about half the foster parents his office deals with are single parents. So, it is clearly doable. I think single foster parents have to be on the rise, just as single parents in general are on the rise. The simple truth is that we don't have as many stable couples as we used to.

christiankate · Jun 19, 2005

I am interested in Foster Parenting, or even adopting. There are so many kids out there that need nice people in there lives, It is definately something I am interested in.

auerpower · Jun 19, 2005

Hello... Actually, I have been planning on becoming a single foster parent next year sometime...however, I may have to put it on hold for a while. I just got a promotion with my job, which means the hours have changed that I will be working. Being single, and working these hours, wouldnt be the most ideal situation for a child...so hopefully, in a few years my situation will change. I also would like to adopt a child as well. Good luck to anyone that wants to be a foster parent...we need many many more good role models to step up and help these children.

sOuLifieD · Jun 19, 2005

I'm only 16 now, but I've actually thought about this. God has been conforming the desires in my heart to His will and He's been helping me to let go of my dreams and just give it all up for Christ, and part of that is marriage. I don't want it to be something that keeps me from Christ, I don't want my desire for marriage to be stronger than my desire to follow God's plan for me.
However, I believe God has called me to have children, so I've been thinking about foster parenting/adoption. I don't know if that's something I can do in the future, but if that's what God tells me to do, my heart is open. Obviously not for a few years though :] Atleast.

Sketcher · Jun 19, 2005

I think single parenthood is more of a burden than God intended and wouldn't wish it on anyone. Bringing it on yourself is IMO biting off more than you can chew.

Tink · Jun 19, 2005

You don't think it's our duty, even as singles, to help the children of the world who have been abandoned, abused, neglected or just forgotten, Twisted?

I don't know what my opinion is on the matter, really. That's why I'm wondering about this.

Thanks to everyone who's answered so far.

In His love,
Tink

Sketcher · Jun 19, 2005

Oh no. Children should be helped. However, I think good, married couples should be the first choice for doing so. Second choice would be someone who may be "single" but isn't alone - for example, in the Middle Ages you had convents and abbys that would take in orphans. The priests and the nuns were certainly single, but one person was not alone in taking care of the child. Unless God Himself made it crystal clear that He wanted a single man or woman who did not have much money or time to spare to adopt a child, I would not recommend it. Kids need money, time and energy - plenty of all three. In general, singles in America come up short on at least one of the three and they don't have another person helping them.

Tink · Jun 19, 2005

twistedsketch said:
Oh no. Children should be helped. However, I think good, married couples should be the first choice for doing so. Second choice would be someone who may be "single" but isn't alone - for example, in the Middle Ages you had convents and abbys that would take in orphans. The priests and the nuns were certainly single, but one person was not alone in taking care of the child. Unless God Himself made it crystal clear that He wanted a single man or woman who did not have much money or time to spare to adopt a child, I would not recommend it. Kids need money, time and energy - plenty of all three. In general, singles in America come up short on at least one of the three and they don't have another person helping them.

Ooooooooooh. I see. That makes perfect sense. Thank you for sharing your opinion. That makes sense about the three things down there. My friend that fosters has the support of her mother and sister. So, I think she's an exception to that rule. You're pretty smart. Are you sure I can't call you Twistie? HAHAHAHA

In His love,
Tink

Marissa · Jun 19, 2005

twistedsketch said:
Kids need money, time and energy - plenty of all three. In general, singles in America come up short on at least one of the three and they don't have another person helping them.

Remember, when you foster you get money.

I can't comment on the situation in the US, but here if you foster financailly you're pretty fine. You get $300 (at least) pw per kid - tax free. If you're single, you get parenting payments on top of that from the government. You also get tax breaks, so if you do work the tax you pay is reduced. This also affects tax paid on parenting payments. You get enough that you don't have to work, certainly not full time so you've got time.

Energy is more of a case by case basis, but many people certainly have the energy to care for one child. Many single parents manage with more. Especially when finances and time aren't an issue.

Whether singles can cope fosters depends entirely upon their circumstances. Ditto for couples.

awashinlove · Jun 20, 2005

No way do I think God wouldn't put fostering/adoption into the heart of single, and in fact he put the desire into my heart a long time ago. Certainly it's not easy and and the traditional family is the ideal, and of course children take time, energy, and money. However, not only do studies show some children with certain backgrounds do better with one parent than with two (abuse cases, etc.), but we've got to remember GOD is the one who provides. I can't imagine Him looking at two of his beloved children, one with a willing, nurturing heart and the other with a needy heart, and deciding they shouldn't be together because the former is a single. The most common argument against taking in a child as a single uses the research done on children of divorce, however a single isn't offering a broken home, but rather a newly whole one.

Anyway, was it Mark Lowry who said we're praying to a single adult? IMO, offering love through thick and thin, stability, and a safe, warm place to sleep at night to a child who has no one else is taking the phrase "what would Jesus do?" and putting it into action in an extreme way.

If you can and can well, no reason not to do so when God is leading.

Blessings,
awashinlove

mixiejoeusa · Jun 20, 2005

I would like to do that as soon as I get get back on my feet. There are a lot of children, in gradeschool ages that are in bad living situations and if I can give a child some love, then I want to do what I can. I love kids and who knows if I will get married or even have kids. The state pays for all their expenses and all they need is a good home. Yes these kinds of kids have more problems then most and need more time and attention, but if you take the one "bad" kid and change their life, you never know they could be the next president of the united states.

JPPT1974 · Jun 20, 2005

Well I want to make sure that I am up to the task. Meaning giving up a lot of things. If the Lord wants me to do so, then that is in His will as well as best interest. If not, then that is the Lord's will also. But I want to raise a child or two with love and understanding as well as caring for that child or two. Raising that child in the Lord's eyes.

stormgade4 · Jun 21, 2005

This may not be the same thing but it has been a neat blessing for me. Since December, I have been fostering homeless animals, namely cats. I volunteer with an animal rescue group and am the only single guy there (the other ladies sometimes drag along their husbands). The group doesn't have a shelter so they depend on foster care. Its been a blessing for me in many ways. My mother actually adopted my first foster in February and my second one got adopted just recently. I adopted two kittens of my own back in January and they have helped some anti-social cats (especially the first foster) become lively and social again. Just my experience.

Terri12345 · Jun 21, 2005

I don't know if I'm going to be single forever or not...but I would DEFINATELY LOVE to foster and adopt children-older children.

I don't much like little kids...but the older kids in the foster system really need loving homes. They get overlooked so much.

JPPT1974 · Jun 21, 2005

Terri12345 said:
I don't know if I'm going to be single forever or not...but I would DEFINATELY LOVE to foster and adopt children-older children.

I don't much like little kids...but the older kids in the foster system really need loving homes. They get overlooked so much.

You must have been reading my mind. As I like older kids and teens that really need it more than little kids.

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