D
dies-l
Guest
Anyone here a foster parent or has anyone adopted a child from foster care? My wife and I are in the adoption process, and I would love to have others to share with and learn from.
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mrsburroughs
Christs Beloved
my husband and I are in the process of becoming certified Foster-Adoptive parents 
I am looking forward to becoming a parent. 
I am looking forward to becoming a parent.
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latebloomer
An Autumn Lutheran Rose
My husband and I adopted two children through foster care. Our son is 8, came to us at 16 months, adopted when he was 2 1/2. Our daughter, 15, came to us a little over a year ago and we adopted her a month ago. We had 24 kids in the 8 years we were foster parents, ranging in age from 15 months to age 18. Length of stay ranged from overnight (respite) to over a year. Wide assortment of reasons they were in foster care, large assortment of issues, and many reasons why they left our home.
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D
dies-l
Guest
We just got our youngest about two weeks ago. Learning to sleep with a 1 year old in the room is a whole new experience.
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SiyoNqoba
Junior Member
My husband and I have fostered two boys, a 3 year old and an 11 year old. Though we no longer have them with us, they are both heavily on our hearts and we pray for them and consider them to be "our boys."
In New Zealand (where we live), it is very difficult to adopt children. The best we can do is permanent placement care, but the situation needs to be extreme for that to happen. In every single circumstance, they will try to place the child within the family first. One day we hope to be in the position care for a child permanently, but we'd like to know the child first.
In New Zealand (where we live), it is very difficult to adopt children. The best we can do is permanent placement care, but the situation needs to be extreme for that to happen. In every single circumstance, they will try to place the child within the family first. One day we hope to be in the position care for a child permanently, but we'd like to know the child first.
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CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN
My dad died 1/12/2023. I'm still devastated.
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That's usually their first goal in the United States.I think they can be ridiculous about it to.Good luck.
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SiyoNqoba
Junior Member
^Thanks
Here, it's not just the first goal - it's law, and it's every single circumstance, not just usually. Because of the emphasis on keeping children with their family of origin, social workers work with a family to make the home simply "good enough," not necessarily good, so that the child receives adequate care in their family of origin. Only as an absolute last resort will they permanently take a child outside of the family, and even then, they're very reluctant to terminate parental rights - I could have a child living with me for the rest of their life, but still need to consult their parents with regards to what school they go to.
The whole attitude around adoption is just very different here, and it's extremely difficult to adopt even in the best of circumstances. I can see both sides. It does provide them with a sense of belonging, and lessens the feelings of abandonment. But, as a foster parent, it is heartbreaking and frustrating to hand a child back to a "good enough" home when you know you could raise that child as a big brother to your biological children in a good home.
Here, it's not just the first goal - it's law, and it's every single circumstance, not just usually. Because of the emphasis on keeping children with their family of origin, social workers work with a family to make the home simply "good enough," not necessarily good, so that the child receives adequate care in their family of origin. Only as an absolute last resort will they permanently take a child outside of the family, and even then, they're very reluctant to terminate parental rights - I could have a child living with me for the rest of their life, but still need to consult their parents with regards to what school they go to.
The whole attitude around adoption is just very different here, and it's extremely difficult to adopt even in the best of circumstances. I can see both sides. It does provide them with a sense of belonging, and lessens the feelings of abandonment. But, as a foster parent, it is heartbreaking and frustrating to hand a child back to a "good enough" home when you know you could raise that child as a big brother to your biological children in a good home.
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I was a foster mamma for 5years. I have 3 bio children ages 16,17,and 19,and 2 adopted through foster care. My son is 6 I got him at 18 months,and my daughter is 8 I got her at 3years. I had 13 children ranging from 3 months -17years old. I loved it even on the most challenging days. I am adopted and my parents did foster care my entire life growing up. Both of my adopted children are crack babies. My daughter also has fetal alcohol syndrome,reactive attachment disorder,and is m.r. Some days it is a challenge. But I couldn't imagine my life any other way.
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