Well i grew up in a christian family and always believed in God, but growing up I just saw Him as a person up in the sky who watches over us on the earth here, but I didnt really knew Him as my Personal God and Savior who wants to have a relationship, a friendship with me. Well 10 yrs ago some stuff happened and through it all God showed me who He is, His power and His love and since then I started having a relationship with Him.
As I grew closer to Him i realised there was something missing and I realised ok I know Jesus, I know the Father but who is the Holy Spirit. So when I opened up for the Holy Spirit is when the emptyness I was feeling inside got filled up. And I started to fall more and more in love with God.
The last years I really learned to recognise Gods voice, Him speaking to me and not just me to Him. A relationship is a 2 way direction of communication. God was speaking to me all the time but I needed to recognise His voice.
The last 2/3 years or so God really revealed himself as a Father to me. In the bible Jesus sais he came to show the way to the Father and that He only sais and do what He sees the Father do. So i wanted to know the Father and God wants to be a Father to us, in ephesians it speaks about how He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world and in love he predestined us to adoptions as sons through Jesus Christ.
In the last years I have really grown in intimacy with God, spending time with Him, loving Him and recieving His love for me (is there anything more beautifull in the world than the love of God?)
Last year I woke up one morning after having this dream. and as i woke up and was thinking about it I realised i had had that dream a bunch of times before. And so I started asking God what it meant, what He was trying to show me through it. Cuz in the dream i would be at the beach walking and all of a sudden the water would rise up very fast (becomming flood), but so fast I would have to run to higher grounds to be safe and i just barely made it every time and then i would wake up.
So I was like God what does this mean? because the beach is like one of my fav places to be at and to take long walks talking to God etc. Then later that morning (when i woke up after having the dream etc) I was at a meeting and we had this time of worship before. And the worshipteam was playing/singing this song I had never heard before. And i realised that I had a hard time singing along, not because the song was hard but because of the words.
the chorus went like 'You set the stars to shine in the nightsky but I know that I'm the twinkle in Your eye, You made the laughter run like water but I'll be the one, the one to make You smile' And i was like God i donno if I believe this, I dont know if I believe in myself, that I am a twinkle in your eye, I donno if I am that important and that I can make you smile, I mean who am I anyway. And then God started speaking to me about my dream. how the beach represented my time with Him and how the sea was His love etc.
And that i was fine as long as I was in control, as I could decide how close I wanted God to come etc. But to surrender completely and everything to God was for me like God coming as the sea trying to drown me or whatever. I was afraid to give God all the control, to let God be in charge, to allow Him to come closer to me etc. Once I realised my fear and recognised it I was able to deal with it and give it over to God and allow God to come closer
And well is there anything better then being in an intimate relationship with God, to know His heart, to know His love and to feel safe in His arms
I hope my rambling made sense.... it does to me
anyway I could say bunch more but think I'll leave it with this for now......
