OK...so to start out with I'm 19 and just recently lost my virginity. To be perfectly honest I was wanting to wait until marriage but I was messing around with a girl one night and some things just got out of hand and basically it was the whole one thing lead to another story...even though i didnt want it to. My body just seemed to have total power over me and I started having sex with that girl about 10 other times. Then another girl twice and another girl twice. The thing is, I have been able to say no for so long and now that I have experienced it, it's like I can't control myself if I'm in that situation. And it's not like I'm begging for all this to happen, I meet girls and even though they tell me they dont want to just yet, it just seems to happen. I'm sorry to go so in depth but being a christian guy, I find it hard to believe that after pledging my life to God and then doing this...how can I still be forgiven of my sins that I've commited. I dont feel like I should be forgiven. I feel like I lied to God and that he should in a sense hate me. If anyone has any words of encouragment to let me know that I still have grace or even if the same situation has happened to you...please let me know.
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forgivness questions
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First of all God doesn't hate you. God doesn't want you living this type of life though and the reason He doesn't is for your own good. Living a life like you have described is going to lead to problems. You have opened a can of worms that will not easily be closed by getting involved in premarital sex.
You say you just can't control yourself if your in that situation, don't allow yourself to get in that type of situation. It's easy for me to give you advice but it's going to be hard for you to listen and act. Stay out of situations where sex could be the end result. Do not be alone with a female. Your at a very sexual age. For you to live the life that a committed Christian should live as a response to what Jesus did for us, is going to be tough, very tough. You can do it though but only by completly allowing the Holy Spirit to work through and in you. Resist the devil and he will flee, give in to temptaion and reap what you sow. If you do give in don't stop seeking to live a life pleasing to God. If you truly believe on Jesus you may not allways be perfect but you will be a work that is being perfected. God will forgive you, and has if your His. Seek God, not an excuse for sex. Remember whatever consequences you receive from this isn't because God doesn't love you or forgive you, it's because you have chosen to be disobedient to the one who has given you life.
You say you just can't control yourself if your in that situation, don't allow yourself to get in that type of situation. It's easy for me to give you advice but it's going to be hard for you to listen and act. Stay out of situations where sex could be the end result. Do not be alone with a female. Your at a very sexual age. For you to live the life that a committed Christian should live as a response to what Jesus did for us, is going to be tough, very tough. You can do it though but only by completly allowing the Holy Spirit to work through and in you. Resist the devil and he will flee, give in to temptaion and reap what you sow. If you do give in don't stop seeking to live a life pleasing to God. If you truly believe on Jesus you may not allways be perfect but you will be a work that is being perfected. God will forgive you, and has if your His. Seek God, not an excuse for sex. Remember whatever consequences you receive from this isn't because God doesn't love you or forgive you, it's because you have chosen to be disobedient to the one who has given you life.
ClimbHazzard said:
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You have not integrated your sexuality into your Christian framework very well. It is very strong. We must take responsibility for our sexuality.
Getting involved in some sexual behaviour with a girl is sexually arousing. That can lead to lack of self control - you just don't want to stop. And, there are girls who are not too opposed to sexual activity either, and they can contribute to what happens once you start.
You will only stop violating your Christian standards by deciding to avoid being intimate with any girl, which you obviously getinto pretty quickly, and just be friends. Don't allow yourself to be in situations that make sex easy.
Once started it is not easy to stop having sex, but it is not impossible. You will need to dig deep and endure the times of struggle.
John
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Getting involved in some sexual behaviour with a girl is sexually arousing. That can lead to lack of self control - you just don't want to stop. And, there are girls who are not too opposed to sexual activity either, and they can contribute to what happens once you start.
You will only stop violating your Christian standards by deciding to avoid being intimate with any girl, which you obviously getinto pretty quickly, and just be friends. Don't allow yourself to be in situations that make sex easy.
Once started it is not easy to stop having sex, but it is not impossible. You will need to dig deep and endure the times of struggle.
John
NZ
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I agree with Johnnz, when he says that: "You have not integrated your sexuality into your Christian framework very well. It is very strong. We must take responsibility for our sexuality."
If you don't learn from this one, then u will fall for the next ones.
Just as Mary Magdalene was given the 2nd chance, but with these commands: " I don't condemn you either. Go home, and from now on do not sin any more."
RemainFaithful
If you don't learn from this one, then u will fall for the next ones.
Just as Mary Magdalene was given the 2nd chance, but with these commands: " I don't condemn you either. Go home, and from now on do not sin any more."
RemainFaithful
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ascribe2thelord
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The Bible really doesn't give instructions on how to repent. If anything ... I think the best I can do is to point you to several scriptures that ought to shock you enough to give up your worldly guilt and start knowing God again - godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation. That's in 2 Corinthians 6 I think ... and see Hebrews chapters 6 and 10.
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It's true that when you give Satan an inch, he'll take a mile! You gave in once and before you knew it, you were caught up and don't know how to stop. Maybe you do know how to stop, but you're struggling with what happened. Something else satan is good at is making you beat yourself up about something. "Ha, you sinned! You gave in! God hates you now! You don't deserve forgiveness! You won't get forgiveness! You're hopeless!" Let me tell you something. God is God. Think about Paul. Before he became Paul, the Christian who wrote most of the New Testament, Paul was called Saul. Saul went around murdering Christians and spitting on the name of Jesus. Jesus was able to use him and changed him. His name became Paul and he was saved and God used him for amazing things. You sinned. Okay, so do I. So does Johnnz. We're not worth of forgiveness, but it's given to us by grace. God will forgive you and He can change you. Did you know that you can repent of your sins, make a new commitment with God and become a virgin again? You can. Make a commitment to God that you will not have sex until you're married and don't date ANYONE unless they share the same strict commitment you do.
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