for parents to read

[Christian4U]

this is for parents....what should i do...i am not a parent but my parents treat me like ****....i get abused verbally and used to get abused physically...i try my hardest to respond back with love but it so hard and a person can only take so much...i want to give this to God but then it shows that i have no control over my life...i want them to realize that I love them as a christian and God loves them...i may not love them as parents for the way they treat me but i love them for God...what should i do...can you help me? give me some advice or tell me waht it is like in a parents perspective....or something to help me...i have an hour till i go home and get griped at and yelled at and such...it so bad she isn't only going to hurt me but also hurt my girlfriend in the long run...hurt her feelings and her diginity...i am suppose to go to a dance with her tomorrow night but i don't even know if iw ill get to go with her...help would be appreciated.....thanks..
Mark

 

[Evening Mist]

I could tell you that parenting is hard and stressfull, and it is, but that doesn't justify verbal of physical abuse. You don't deserve it.

I know the dance feels like a big deal to you right now. And it is important. But not the most important thing right now. Can you separate that issue out a little, even if it means letting someone down, and maybe focus on the bigger picture right now? If she is a sweet girl, then you should tell her the truth about why you can't go and she'll be okay about it.

As far as the abuse you are suffering.... are you in phsycial danger? If so -- then you need to get out. Talk to a teacher or go to the police. But be prepared that things will continue to be very hard.

If you are not in immediate danger, then the only thing you can do is to pray and pray, and try to demonstrate love to your parents until you are old enough to leave. ((((Hugs)))) I wish no kid had to be in your position, or shoulder the resonsibility that you are shouldering now.

Is there someone at your church that you can confide in, who might be willing to confront your parents on your behalf? I can tell you for certain that if a teen at my church approached me with the problem that you have, I would go to bat for him. Maybe your pastor?

 

[Kelly]

You have to sit them down at the diningroom table and lay it all out. I assume that they are Christian too. Explain exactly how you feel, how their verbal abuse hurts you.

I don't know what they are saying to you, or how it's said. Are they degrading you or criticizing everything or what? Criticizm of everything you do and how you do it can be very frustrating, but it's usually done out of love.

Alot of things can be said with no idea how they really hurt. "Giving it up" to God doesn't mean just waiting and doing nothing. Talk to God, you will get an idea of what to do. Coming here and asking may be a way to find your answer through God. Good luck!

 

[Christian4U]

no my parents are not christians so it is harder to do than that...evening mist: i will take your advice...i am sure she will understand...if she doesn't then it really doesn't matter...the physical abuse isn't any danger anymore cause i can defend for myself but the verbal abuse is still dangerous...it tears my heart every day but God replinshes it....

 

[desi]

During a quiet moment tell her you love her and look up to her and you feel bad she seems to get so stressed out often. Is there any way you can help out more? You know she is doing her best so you try to do your best for her. Tell her your GF likes her too and you like your GF because she seems to have all of your mothers best qualities. While this may be deceptive it will be hard for her to get mad at you for it. Furthermore she will be hard pressed to desparage your GF because you have compared her to her in a positive light. You can't argue with your parents as equals so you have to be smart about it. I believe this is honoring them more than the doomed direct approach if they are as unreasonable as you claim they are. Praying for you.