Food.

[Neari]

I've been struggling trying to not think so much about food.. What's makes it harder is that the people around me seem to have the same relationship with food as I used to have- normal. They are uncaring forwards food; they will eat half a sandwich and throw away a perfectly good half without caring a single bit..! It's been bothering me so much more than I know it should.. Everyday I take home the leftovers of other people because I hate seeing them waste even one chicken nugget. I need some advice.. I don't want to see food being wasted so much and I hate how I've created a habit of asking other people if they're finishing their food.. It brings anxiety to ask them, and I feel horrible when I chicken out of asking and watch them throw away perfectly fine food.. I wish they'd just eat all their food so I wouldn't have this anxiety.. I hate how the thought of food has taken up so much of my life..

 

[RC1970]

I've been struggling trying to not think so much about food.. What's makes it harder is that the people around me seem to have the same relationship with food as I used to have- normal. They are uncaring forwards food; they will eat half a sandwich and throw away a perfectly good half without caring a single bit..! It's been bothering me so much more than I know it should.. Everyday I take home the leftovers of other people because I hate seeing them waste even one chicken nugget. I need some advice.. I don't want to see food being wasted so much and I hate how I've created a habit of asking other people if they're finishing their food.. It brings anxiety to ask them, and I feel horrible when I chicken out of asking and watch them throw away perfectly fine food.. I wish they'd just eat all their food so I wouldn't have this anxiety.. I hate how the thought of food has taken up so much of my life..

What do you think the cause of this anxiety is?

 

[Neari]

What do you think the cause of this anxiety is?

I honestly am not sure.. I'm worried it may be on some level connected to idolatry/gluttony.. must be connected to my eating disorder though.. >_<

 

[RC1970]

I honestly am not sure.. I'm worried it may be on some level connected to idolatry/gluttony.. must be connected to my eating disorder though.. >_<

Did you have a period in your life when you went hungry? Maybe a time when you were not sure where your next meal was coming from?

I could see something like that causing anxiety. Maybe some posttraumatic stress.

 

[Neari]

I've been aware that people might think that, but I've never been 'deprived' of food or have an abnormal relationship with it in the past..

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Learning the fundamentals of diet and health might help as well.

 

[Neari]

Learning the fundamentals of diet and health might help as well.

Thank you for the advice.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Thank you for the advice.

You're welcome.

 

[teresa]

nm

 

[Neari]

For me, its about power and control, as I had anorexia for a very long time and from a young age too.

I learned to get even and to control my mom by not eating. It drove her nuts.

It also made me feel in control instead of hysterical when life was chaotic for me.

Don't know when life will get better for you my friend, as finding ones way and path through this is unique.

But since you are already searching and writing about it, I'm sure you will find solutions as time goes forward.

How are you doing?

Thank you so much for asking. I'm doing okay I guess right now. I've gained some weight. However.. I'm worried that I've been too obsessed over food, I keep thinking about what I want to eat and manipulative ways to eat less.. I am ashamed of these thoughts, but I'm trying to change my mindset so that I am focused on the Lord instead of obsessing over food constantly. You're right, power and control is really what this is all revolving around. Thank you again for asking.

 

[teresa]

nm

 

[Neari]

I'm sorry you feel ashamed. Pushing food around the plate, hiding and hoarding food, it's all a part of the ED, and you have an illness and this is not a moral fault, my friend.

What can you achieve other than the ED to feel in control?

Wow, I agree with those things so much..! I enjoy drawing, usually I draw people, scripture art and sometimes animals. I also like baking, it makes me feel productive because I put work into making something that turns out yummy and pleasing to others! (Same with drawing~!)