Flirting

[Sunbeam]

Do you flirt? Do you think that this is a worldly term only? Do you dislike it how some people flirt? Have you changed how you flirt?

To me, flirting means I have to act more interested so I dont do it. I think I show that naturally anyway. It's obvious with me. It shows in my eyes and demeanor and I feel pleasantly comfortable. When I see men flirting with me, it turns me off. Why can't they be themselves. I don't like flattery. It's appreciated with I see low-key self-controlled people who are genuinely interested. I think that I can end up seeming like I am flirting though from an outgrowth of interest, but I not trying to. It comes from my gut and makes me very nervous. If I try to flirt consciously, it feels too phony so I don't do it. Other people don't seem to have a problem with it, but I see where they are not being themselves. That would worry me. We are all wired differently though.

 

[enslow]

I'm curious Sunbeam,

If a man takes an interest in you, and moves to open a door for you as you come up to the enterance of a building, do you see that as flirting or a man who's genuinely showing interest and respect for you?

After a year of going out with her, I still enjoy opening doors for my fiancee. I will always continue to do so, and would almost dispise a woman who rebuked me for it.

I'm not saying that you don't appreciate such simple acts of respect, but I am curious what you consider flirting and demonstrating genuine interest.

Enslow

 

[Stanfi]

Enslow,

I don't think opening doors is flirting. I just think that is show genuine concern and intrest in someone. It's showing them that you care, that's it! What I call flirting is just useless idle chatter. Saying things just to "woo" someone. Personally I think that it's kind of pathetic, and is just seems so fake to me.

Anyway Sunbeam,

I think it answer your question. I am not to big of a fan flirting. I think it you are intrerested in someone and care about them, then show them. Open doors, ask them how there day was, and just try to be there for them, you know be a friend. That's what I think..


but you know, it just occured to me. I may be wrong. Afterall it IS Saturday night, I am single. I don't have a date, haven't had one in over a year. hmmm..

*mrstace rethinks this whole flirting bit*

 

[enslow]

Enslow,

I don't think opening doors is flirting. I just think that is show genuine concern and intrest in someone. It's showing them that you care, that's it! What I call flirting is just useless idle chatter. Saying things just to "woo" someone. Personally I think that it's kind of pathetic, and is just seems so fake to me.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who believes in opening doors out of respect. We need to teach the younger generation to do more of this. (I'm starting to sound like an old fogie.... wait, according to my age on here I AM an old fogie.... oh well, hopefully most people here realize I'm not an 83 year old fatso )

While in the bookstore yesterday, I took a look at a book which had a section on pick up lines. If I were a female hearing one of those I'd cut the guy loose before hooking him!

e.g.

If you were a hamburger, you'd be McBeautiful.

I'm knowning for puns, but I never used them as pick up lines. Come to think of it, I don't think I ever had/used any pickup lines. Don't worry Mrstace, Sunbeams right, just be yourself and you'll find the very woman who will be desire to accompany you throughout the rest of your life. Just don't compromise who you are to get what you think you want.

Enslow

 

[ananar23]

Auh, the ever elusive topic of flirting. I am one often times accused of being a flirt. I think its all about perception though. or, [i admit] perhaps i have issues and my subconcious is trying to deal with them, hahahhahaha. but i tend to be friendly (after my shyness is broken), and people accuse me of the flirting. its something i should work on, i would rather not be known as a flirt .
God bless!!!!

 

[seangoh]

If you were a hamburger, you'd be McBeautiful.

hahaha that's funny. Well i think flirting is when you go out of your normal way you treat your friends. So when people accuse you of flirting, they can tell that you're treating that person in an unusually friendlier way than your normal friends. Hmm..is that how u define flirting?

 

[Mr.Cheese]

If I ever say something like that to a girl, may she please break my nose.
Do guys really say stuff like that?
That's sad.

I think flirting is kind of normal. Now, if you flirt with everyone in sight, that's a problem.
But showing interest in someone is pretty normal.
Please don't use the McBeautiful line.
Avoid lines altogether.

 

[Fungal Growth]

i would say thats a good definition of flirting seangoh

**btw, ananar, if thats your pic in your avatar, its very pretty

seesee the definition works

 

[rwl]

Flirting is normal. if/when I'm not dating someone then I can definitely be a flirt. It's just a part of who I am. I don't knowingly go out of my way to flirt.... it just kindda happens.

 

[mbuc]

**btw, ananar, if thats your pic in your avatar, its very pretty

You beat me to it. Fine looking lady in that picture. Now I'm flirting. Actually, I believe there's a big difference in making a genuine compliment (like the one I just made) and flirting. Flirting might get someone's attention, but a well-placed, genuine compliment will often get his/her respect.

 

[ananar23]

Oh come on, you guys are too much
i thank you though
God bless!

 

[Sunbeam]

I don't knowingly go out of my way to flirt.... it just kindda happens.

well, that's different. I think there are a few kinds of flirting. One is when people are fake, such as using lines, or acting slimy, or seductive, or too friendly in a stupid way trying to get a reaction or trying to control for a sexual response. I guess that's what I don't like. I don't like seeing anyone do that to the opposite sex.

One is where you don't have any control of being more friendly. You are genuinely interested and you are more open to another on the physiological level. It's not trying to get a forced reaction. I guess if you call that flirting maybe I am, but I'm not trying. I haven't thought of that as flirting before, but I suppose it really is. If I am acting more interested. I guess its how you want to word things, but its' not the first kind of flirting I've described. I'm not wearing tight pants and bending down in front of someone or rubbing my body with my hands or licking my lips really slowly or staring someone down like an animal hunting. Or anything else to get a reaction. But just being interested and showing that verbally and normal bonding would be flirting I guess but in a normal way.

I guess its the people that try to get a reaction to seduce that bothers me. I don't like seeing men do this to women, or women doing this to men. It bothers me to see men being taken in by women that act like that. It makes them look weak.

Then sometimes, women can act stupid or silly just being funny, and men can take that as flirting and vice-versa. I suppose I've been guilty of that. I don't want to give out wrong signals though and I am getting better at that. I think that this can be an innocent way of flirting too though. But usually I have thought of flirting as trying to seduce, and genuine interest as another thing. I suppose they could be different types of flirting too

lol okay I'm not talking about this anymore today. It's starting to bother me. lol. I'm not making entirely all that much sense I know, but what matters is that I understand what I'm saying right? Gee, I should just go start a Journal thread in the journal section if that's the case where I can just respond to myself until they come and take me away lol

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

I would have to say that I am too shy to flirt with people I dont know. However I do flirt often with people I do know. I will flirt with them knowing that both parties know its just out of fun. The ladies that I flirt with know that I dont mean anything beyond friends. Often I will just say something to get a reaction. But as far as straight up flirting with girls I dont know, I try not to make them interested in something thats not real.

 

[seangoh]

lol okay I'm not talking about this anymore today. It's starting to bother me. lol. I'm not making entirely all that much sense I know, but what matters is that I understand what I'm saying right? Gee, I should just go start a Journal thread in the journal section if that's the case where I can just respond to myself until they come and take me away lol

Actually what you said made perfect sense.lol...i've a thought though. About a heightened interest in another person. How often this interest is natural and then you start to "flirt". Now am i making sense?

 

[mbotz72]

Flirting is not a thing that can not always be defined because it comes off very differently to each individual. How one person perceives the actions of another could be quite different than the intention. It really bothers me when girls flirt with guys in order to get their attention, especially when they have a boyfriend or vice versa, but then I tell myself that I must step back and not judge because this could just be their personality. Personally, even when I try to flirt, it doesn't seem like it because I am very introverted and shy. So I agree that we should just be ourselves. Some guys are totally oblivious that they are flirting and leading a girl on and so it is also wise to not read into it too much depending on the situation.

 

[Sunbeam]

I'm curious Sunbeam,

If a man takes an interest in you, and moves to open a door for you as you come up to the enterance of a building, do you see that as flirting or a man who's genuinely showing interest and respect for you?

After a year of going out with her, I still enjoy opening doors for my fiancee. I will always continue to do so, and would almost dispise a woman who rebuked me for it.

I'm not saying that you don't appreciate such simple acts of respect, but I am curious what you consider flirting and demonstrating genuine interest.

Enslow

You're mistaken.

Opening a door for someone is not flirting or genuine interest. It's good manners.

Why would someone rebuke you for opening a door for them?

 

[secretdawn]

You beat me to it. Fine looking lady in that picture. Now I'm flirting. Actually, I believe there's a big difference in making a genuine compliment (like the one I just made) and flirting. Flirting might get someone's attention, but a well-placed, genuine compliment will often get his/her respect.

Stop and think about what your actions are. Let me define flirting: it is the intentional act of trying to get someones attention romatically. If you are just friendly, it isn't flirting. People just like to pervert things. Oh, she was teasing him, so she wants him...Oh, he gave her a hug, he is trying to get with her...blah blah...it is one thing when you dress to avoid that unwanted attention, and another when you have to change your personality cause half the country assumes if a man and a woman say anything more that work related comments to each other there must be some illicit affair going on...

 

[danielb]

I've never really understood what people mean when they say flirting. Maybe its just me but I just try to talk to people, I will tell jokes or stories if I think its a good time to do so and I know who ever I'm talking to will like them...

Heck I find talking to woman I don't know can be nerve racking enough without trying to do any more than talk to them!

DanielB

 

[mbuc]

Heck I find talking to woman I don't know can be nerve racking enough without trying to do any more than talk to them!

Same here. Seems like the brain just shuts down and the mouth goes on autopilot.

secretdawn, I'm not sure I completely follow your logic, but I agree that words and actions are easily misinterpreted because the world likes to pervert their meanings. Makes it hard for us guys to say something nice to a lady without her thinking it's a sexual advance.

 

[canehdianhotstuff]

im dont usually fliry myself, when i liek a girl i show a small interest in her by talking to her alot getting to know her, when new girls come to youth, as my friends dad said church is a good place to pick up girls, better than alot of places anyways.

and in respect i always open doors for girls all the time even if i dont know them. its just being courteous.