First time, need advice

[willard3]

I know I'm a bit old to be posting this, but I've hit a serious milestone in my life: the first girl I feel truly attracted to, and vice versa. I've lived kind of a secluded life and thus have little to nil knowledge of "proper" dating. We both like each other and I would really like to spend more time with her, and we've left the "taking it to the next level" bit hanging for about a week as I think about it.

This is someone I can get along with: she's a good Christian, is a music major (like me), we can actually talk, a good sense of humor and knows how to take jokes; looks are not an issue for me right now, which is probably a good sign. The problem is peer pressure. I go to a college where about 75% of students get married right out of school, and you can't walk a step without seeing couples holding hands and cuddling (nothing bad, it's a good Christian college). She's nice enough that I don't believe she'd hold me to any "standards", but I can't bring myself to move it forward. I am a little scared of commitment, but my fear is becoming balanced by the desire to know her better and spend time with her.

Any advice would be helpful, but please pray for me in my anxiety. Help give me the strength to follow my heart and tell her how I feel.

 

[intricatic]

Well, my advice would be to treat it like a friendship, although obviously there will be differences between how things develop when compared to a friendship. Don't stress yourself too much on trying to fit into that role that you see other people fitting into, though, just let things naturally progress and get to know her for who she is, and vice versa. The whole "regular dating" thing isn't strict or well-defined, and it shouldn't be, imho.

But most importantly; just be yourself.

 

[soulsearching1]

Just relax and take things as they come. Don't rush anything, and do NOT feel obligated to get married the second you graduate, even if you two are together at that point. When you're ready to get married, you will. It is perfectly acceptable to be in your late 20s and not married. Most of my Christian friends are my age and older and are not married, if you want to relate this to Christians-only. In general, I don't think marriage is anything to be rushed or placed a heavy expectation on, because it's a HUGE decision! By having "expectations", I don't mean that it isn't good, but that it's so important that it shouldn't be gone into rashly. Don't worry about what your friends are doing. Do what is right for you.