First confession?

Augustinosia · Oct 2, 2012

What does preparation for a first confession, then the actual confession itself involve?

How much detail do you go into during confession?

How do you know you're truly repentant of what you're confessing?

What if afterwards, you remember a glaring sin that should've been aired at your first confession?

For those who converted to Orthodoxy as adults from a non-confessional Christian tradition - what did you do and how long did it take to prepare for confession? How long did the confession itself take? What happened afterwards?

Any other advice for a would-be penitent before, during and after confession?

Thanks
Deborah

truefiction1 · Oct 2, 2012

clannard said:
What does preparation for a first confession, then the actual confession itself involve?

How much detail do you go into during confession?

How do you know you're truly repentant of what you're confessing?

What if afterwards, you remember a glaring sin that should've been aired at your first confession?

For those who converted to Orthodoxy as adults from a non-confessional Christian tradition - what did you do and how long did it take to prepare for confession? How long did the confession itself take? What happened afterwards?

Any other advice for a would-be penitent before, during and after confession?

Thanks
Deborah

Not an expert on confession, but:

I always think about sins I've fallen into, both in word/deed and those commited only in my mind. Then I figure out what kind of sins they were (i.e. Pride/Vainglory, Envy, Anger, Greed, Laziness, Gluttony, or Lust).

When I've determined the nature of the sins I've committed, I'm then able to admit to having succumbed to these specific categories of sin during the actual confession.

I personally don't go into great detail, unless there has been some specific passion or problem that has been troubling me a great deal and that I seem unable to overcome.

After having remembered these offenses, I meditate upon how, through them, I have offended the unfathomable goodness of God and have hurt not only myself, but all others whom God loves. Then I pray that I might receive a spirit of true repentence and contrition.

If I have forgotten to confess a glaring sin, and this was an honest omission due to forgetfulness rather than a wish to not confess the sin in order to spare myself from shame, then I would confess this sin to the Lord directly in order to have my conscience cleared of it rather than allowing it to be a spiritual hindrance.

As for your last question, Im sorry but I'm not in a position to answer it.

ArmyMatt · Oct 2, 2012

clannard said:
What does preparation for a first confession, then the actual confession itself involve?

How much detail do you go into during confession?

How do you know you're truly repentant of what you're confessing?

What if afterwards, you remember a glaring sin that should've been aired at your first confession?

For those who converted to Orthodoxy as adults from a non-confessional Christian tradition - what did you do and how long did it take to prepare for confession? How long did the confession itself take? What happened afterwards?

Any other advice for a would-be penitent before, during and after confession?

Thanks
Deborah

for your first point, that depends on the priest. mine had me run through the 10 Commandments, and then asked me if anything was weighing on my heart.

you go into as much detail as you can. remember you are more confessing a sickness to the Great Physician, not how you violated the law of a wrathful Judge.

third is a lifelong thing. those sins might keep appearing, but do you struggle against them. remember the struggle is yours, the victory is God's.

fourth, confess it next time if you can. it's never too late.

fifth point, I don't remember. all I remember was feeling so free and liberated, like a great weight was lifted off my chest.

any advice? yeah, don't fret about it. it will probably be emotional, and that's fine. God loves you and it's never too late for Him.

Dorothea · Oct 2, 2012

If you know what the sins are according to the Church, then you can confess any you have committed. I tend to confess thoughts as well. The sins I've thought or committed eventually over sometimes a short period of time (right after) or a bit later (sometimes a month or so), through them being revealed to me by God (I believe this).

I don't go into great detail, and my priest prefers it that way unless I need to clarify something, but still not down to every detail.

Augustinosia · Oct 10, 2012

truefiction1, ArmyMatt, Dorothea - thanks for your responses Must admit that the idea of confession freaks me out a little, though I do see the necessity of it. It's going to be a big job, recalling a lifetime's worth of sins...some of the types of sins I've seen listed on confession guides wouldn't have occurred to me otherwise! It's one thing to read theoretically-idealised generalities about confession, but it helps to hear real-life accounts. Thanks again!

Deborah

gurneyhalleck1 · Oct 10, 2012

Be as honest, detailed, and specific as possible. Focus on the sins that are serious first, then think of the sins you perpetually deal with and find cumbersome. Be humble, open yourself up. Remember, you're not confessing to the priest, but the Lord Himself. My priest likes to remind me that he is really a witness, to try and focus on Christ as our real confessor. The priest will sit or stand to your side (my priest is in a wheelchair) near the icon, pray confession/reconciliation prayers out of the Orthodox prayer book he uses, and the whole thing is very medicinal, helpful, and not something to be feared. My priest is an outstanding, kind listener. You'll do FINE. Don't let it make you nervous, the anticipation. Priests have a kind of grace God gives them to not really think of your sins after you leave. They don't look at you at coffee hour and think, "hey, there's Dave, the guy who steals from his boss!" or "hey, there's Marcy, the gal who sleeps around!" My priest has told me that his power to blot out stuff like that is extensive, straight from God.

Look FORWARD to your confession as a great venom, a great virus, an enormous cancer, REMOVED from the surgeon of souls, Christ Himself with your priest assisting....

ArmyMatt · Oct 10, 2012

yeah, I actually heard from our deacon, that it is a grace from God that the priest forgets after you leave, so as gurney says, you'll do fine.

Joseph Hazen · Oct 10, 2012

gurneyhalleck1 said:
(my priest is in a wheelchair)

LoL, I'm reading this thread, think idly "Oh hey, Joseph responded." Keep reading along, then get to that sentence and think "Hey! Mine is too!" It's too early for me apparently...

But yeah, what Gurney said is right on, and eloquently said too.

The only thing I would add is to remember this: the fear, apprehension, over-thinking, those are all Satan. He doesn't want you to Confess, and he's going to do all he can to make you over-think everything in order to distract you from actually being there. Don't worry too much. If you forget a sin just say it next time. If you wonder if something is a sin, ask! If you're worried about looking horrible in the eyes of your priest don't - he's heard it all before (and don't worry about others overhearing you either. I've been in the church when others are confessing and, though I don't try to hear, I've noticed I never really can. Everything they say is always mumblish.)

So don't worry about if you're repentant enough, or if you crossed yourself at the right time, or if you truly did say every sin you've ever done. Remember God is all merciful, and part of that is to always give us more mercy than we even know we need to ask for. Do your best and God will fill in the rest. Your intent is coming into play here, and your intent is to be honest before God of all you've done in order to turn away from it and be renewed in Him.

You're not on trial, you're talking with a friend Who loves you more than you can imagine, and Who's already told you He's prepared to forgive whatever it is you've done, and He means it.

gurneyhalleck1 · Oct 10, 2012

Thanks, Joseph, from the other Joseph....

I would also add, along the same lines as what you're saying here (rightly), an old Catholic saying (which applies to Orthodoxy as well)....that Satan does NOT want you to go to the confessional. Then, after you DO go to confession, he wants you to feel that your confession wasn't good enough....Old Nick is always doing overtime on us.

So I'd be careful of diabolical trickery that is two-fold, OP:
Don't go to confession!
Your confession wasn't complete or good enough!

Those are two no-no's to avoid

Just trust in the Lord. He doesn't want His creation to suffer corruption. The God who cares enough to condescend to the human condition and to suffer for us to that degree obviously loves us with an intensity we can't fathom. And in that, the Lord isn't expecting over-scrupulosity in the confessional, just a contrite and honest heart.

Joseph Hazen said:
LoL, I'm reading this thread, think idly "Oh hey, Joseph responded." Keep reading along, then get to that sentence and think "Hey! Mine is too!" It's too early for me apparently...

But yeah, what Gurney said is right on, and eloquently said too.

The only thing I would add is to remember this: the fear, apprehension, over-thinking, those are all Satan. He doesn't want you to Confess, and he's going to do all he can to make you over-think everything in order to distract you from actually being there. Don't worry too much. If you forget a sin just say it next time. If you wonder if something is a sin, ask! If you're worried about looking horrible in the eyes of your priest don't - he's heard it all before (and don't worry about others overhearing you either. I've been in the church when others are confessing and, though I don't try to hear, I've noticed I never really can. Everything they say is always mumblish.)

So don't worry about if you're repentant enough, or if you crossed yourself at the right time, or if you truly did say every sin you've ever done. Remember God is all merciful, and part of that is to always give us more mercy than we even know we need to ask for. Do your best and God will fill in the rest. Your intent is coming into play here, and your intent is to be honest before God of all you've done in order to turn away from it and be renewed in Him.

You're not on trial, you're talking with a friend Who loves you more than you can imagine, and Who's already told you He's prepared to forgive whatever it is you've done, and He means it.

ArmyMatt · Oct 10, 2012

and I would throw in that you are not telling God something He doesn't already know, and has known since before the foundation of the world, and something He has forgiven since the foundation of the world.

GreekOrthodox · Oct 10, 2012

As I remember, my first confession (and in fact for me, most of the time), my confessions are more about attitudes with some specifics, rather than a blow by blow account of each sin. For example, there was a period of time where I was very angry about the way some things had turned out for me, and my confessions was mainly about trying to deal with that situation and the effects that it was having on me.

gurneyhalleck1 · Oct 10, 2012

I don't think the fear most people have with their first confession is so much God, but the priest! I think having God's holy priest sitting there hearing your dirty laundry can be daunting for many! I came from a Catholic background and had a regular habit of going to confession at least twice a month. I was used to it.

ArmyMatt said:
and I would throw in that you are not telling God something He doesn't already know, and has known since before the foundation of the world, and something He has forgiven since the foundation of the world.

HalupkiMonster · Oct 10, 2012

Don't worry, it's not as big a deal as you think it is. All new converts go through this stage of nervousness and anxiety about first confession. You'll see, when you do it, that it's a breeze.

I recommend the book "Repentence: The Forgotten Medicine"

I've read that if there is a sin you forget, it is forgiven at the confessional. Holding back sins, that's another story.

Don't worry. Your priest will guide you!

ArmyMatt · Oct 11, 2012

gurneyhalleck1 said:
I don't think the fear most people have with their first confession is so much God, but the priest! I think having God's holy priest sitting there hearing your dirty laundry can be daunting for many! I came from a Catholic background and had a regular habit of going to confession at least twice a month. I was used to it.

oh yeah, because you actually have to look him in the eye. but, I would point out Fr Hopko says that is a sign you actually want God's healing, that you share it with another person, who can help and advise you.

gurneyhalleck1 · Oct 11, 2012

Father Hopko is on to something there....

ArmyMatt said:
oh yeah, because you actually have to look him in the eye. but, I would point out Fr Hopko says that is a sign you actually want God's healing, that you share it with another person, who can help and advise you.

-Kyriaki- · Oct 11, 2012

Don't overthink it, seriously. The priest will help you, and he's done this all before with so many people It's not as hard as you think and you don't need to prepare as much as you think either! We all have sins we know of - start with those, the rest will come.

ArmyMatt · Oct 11, 2012

gurneyhalleck1 said:
Father Hopko is on to something there....

yeah, he does have those little awesome nuggets from time to time. and by time to time I mean always.

Augustinosia · Oct 12, 2012

gurneyhalleck1 said:
(my priest is in a wheelchair)

Joseph Hazen said:
LoL, I'm reading this thread, think idly "Oh hey, Joseph responded." Keep reading along, then get to that sentence and think "Hey! Mine is too!" It's too early for me apparently...

LOL! Cheers for that bit of light-hearted (albeit unintentioned) relief Joseph!

But seriously...thanks Gurney, Joseph H, ArmyMatt, truefiction1, Dorothea, GreekOrthodox, AmericanAnglican, Kyriaki...your words have brought more relief, consolation and comfort than I can express in words.

It's time to contact the priest and get the ball rolling.

Thanks again everybody

Deborah

ArmyMatt · Oct 12, 2012

no probs Deborah!

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