finished...or so i thought *** TRIGGER ***

[raggedy anne]

I started cutting again...i thought i was finished, i hadnt done it all summer, i started up again in october tho...i just realized yesterday the reason why i started up again, and it wasnt because something bad happened...i started cutting again after i donated blood... they stuck that needle in my arm and started taking my blood, i was fascinated by it and the pain when they stuck the needle in my arm gave me a bit of a rush. it was such a stupid reason. but now i cut when stuff bad happens...just like before. i thought i was finished..why cant i stop... please pray for me...i want so badly to quit.. why cant i stop.

 

[bliz]

Raggedy Ann -

I am going to be very blunt with you. It is becasue I care about you. I will do you no great favors by ignoring what I see .

I read and responded to one of your other posts abhout your relationship with your boyfriend. You have for some period of time been involved with him sexually even though you know it is wrong. That kind of conflict in our lives can cause a great deal of stress and pain, and SI is a convenient way to counteract emotional pain.

Clearly there is a lot of emotional stress in your life, and the SI is bacisally a symptom of that.

Darlin' - please go and get some counseling. A lot of stuff seems to be coming to a head in your life and you can probably use some help from someone you can trust who has other motive than to help you make yor life better.

 

[raggedy anne]

i do go to counceling. i like going to my councelor...doesnt always work tho because there are some things that i dont want to tell her. i havent done any SI for 3 days!! yipee!!! i am so happy bout it!! i know it isnt that long but i think it is going perty good!

 

[TheMainException]

Hey...right there is the prob....holding stuff back is what is gonna allow the pain to continue. There is some stuff that your counselor can help you face and deal with if you open up. I realize it's hard. Trust me...I do....I held stuff back from my counselor for a long time and she couldn't help me because of that. You need to open up. I can't stress that enough....
I love you,
Lauren

 

[daughteroftheking1983]

its so hard to be totally open with counsellors though as we are all used to trying to hide things in order to get on with life. Any tips on being totally honest with them? I really want to be but sometimes actually can't get the words out. Then I am so frustrated with myself for days after.