Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
If he loves you, he will respect you and your decision to abstain from premarital sex in the future.
The best advice I have been given was this: Guilt is counter-productive and destructive. It is a useless emotion that does nothing but harm.
Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. -Emerson
Don't beat yourself up for your past mistakes. It is not the mistake that will be judged, but the actions following it.
You are your partner must come to agree on this. And although you may love him, you must do what is right for you. You have tried to recommit to abstinence before marriage, and I respect that SO much. Don't change that. Don't compromise.
I hope and pray your partner will come to agree on this same will to abstain from sex. If not, my only advice to you is.. well, people change and sometimes remaining and living the same lifestyle only holds you back.
The best advice I have been given was this: Guilt is counter-productive and destructive. It is a useless emotion that does nothing but harm.
At Passion 07, John Piper talked about not letting Satan use the guilt from sexual sin to ruin your dreams of serving God. Satan uses the guilt from failure to strip us from our dreams and leaves us with middle-class world-centered superficiality. Thats a lot of words thats basically saying that Satan tries to convince us that, because of our sin, we are worthless and useless to God, so we might as well settle for the American dream of settling down and making a family and lots of money. But why should we settle for that spiritual mediocrity if God wants us to be on fire for Him and to be serving Him in everything? We dont have to give in to Satans lies. We can overcome Satans trickery and return to the dreams of serving God that we have before failure.
Colossians 2:13-15 says, When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.
Our sin was entirely wiped away when it was nailed to the cross with Christ. We no longer have to worry about being condemned because of our failures in sin. Satan has been disarmed of his powers over us, and we are set free from sin. Because of Christs sacrifice for us, we are no longer bound by sin.
A lot of people tend to think guilt is bad. However, guilt is actually very good. Guilt is like a mental pain. If we didnt have physical pain, we would have likely been dead long ago because we wouldnt know when something is wrong with our bodies. Guilt is mental pain. If we didnt have guilt, we wouldnt know when something is wrong with us spiritually. However, you must do something about the guilt. You cant let Satan take control of that guilt and turn it into a mistake that destroys your dream. Dont throw your life away because of sin.
We need to have gutsy guilt. Gutsy guilt is having the guts to say no to Satan and make something happen out of your guilt. Pick yourself up after a mistake, and make something of it. Learn not to make the same mistake again, and take it to Christ and allow Him to bring good out of it.
Micah 7:8 Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.
I agree except for this:
Here is a great truth for you.
Almost everybody has pre-marital sex, they just don't admit it.
They lie and say they waited for marriage.
So, your honesty opens you up far more than is usual and you criticize yourself based on a false standard.
Only your honesty is unusual. Pre-marital sex is normal and, in itself, does no harm.......it is the worrying about it that does harm.
We should be concerned about promiscuity, not pre-marital sex.
Promiscuity does harm in many ways. It does not appear that you are promiscuous and that is good.
Try to identify your REAL problem. Through counseling you may find ways to accept the possibility of being alone. It is nothing to fear. Huge numbers of people go through life without a partner and some find it preferable.
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