Filing

[momofone]

My husband is refusing to cut contact with his mistress, claiming that the friendship is important to him, and that he can resist the sexual tempation. I can't trust him, I can't believe him, because he's never resisted it before. I've recently found out that the sexual relationship between them goes back YEARS, before we were married, while we dating, after our engagement and on, and so I have no reason to believe that he really will resist that temptation.

So Monday I am going to file for divorce. This has been the hardest decision of my life. I've got the paperwork ready. I can't afford an attorney, but I doubt my husband will fight me on this one. We don't own anything other than personal belongings. My car isn't in my name at the moment, my son's grandmother gave it to me, but we kept it in her name for the time being. I'm glad of that now, because if my husband does get crabby about the divorce, he can't then take it away from me. We rent, and the rental agreement is in my name, so that's not an issue either.

I wish there was some other way. I have prayed and prayed and prayed, and all I keep running into are signs that what we had was never a real marriage, because my husband never committed to it in his heart, in his soul. If he had, he would not have wavered so easily.

Pray for me. I fear things will get even more emotional for me now.

Blessings and love,
Shell

 

[kanga22]

I will keep you in my prayers.

I'm thinking of filing myself. My dh also refuses to cut ties with his mistress. She says she's done talking to him (although I don't necessarily believe it). Even if they do discontinue their friendship now, it won't be because dh wants to focus on our marriage.

I have resisted and resisted filing. It will be so hard on the kids and I have no clue what I'll do. May God bless you in this difficult decision.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Clean cut, fresh start to find yerself. Chin up, girl.

 

[hope4today]

Yes it will be emotional and you will continue to grieve a little while yet.

I will be praying for you. Know that you Father is faithful and he is caring for you. You are his precious daughter


with love

Hope

 

[dayknee]

<hugs you tight>
Im sorry that this has happened..
I wish I had the guts to do what I needed to do..especially after yet another lie..and this one was HUGE..<sighs> he doesnt know I know yet..but my mother told me..yes, he involved my parents on this one..<tears> Im so SICK of it..
I have hurt for soooo long that, now Im just numb..
funny how the pain goes away and all thats left is numbness..
again Momofone Im truely sorry, but I do admire so much, your courage..something I lack. My prayers are with you

 

[fulltime]

After being seperated for 9 months now, I know that you need to put yourself first and work on you and dealing with your own emotions. It is really hard to change a person who refuses to change. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Are any children envolved in this ? If so try to support them the best that you can.I will pray for your situation and hope that it is a smooth process.

 

[momofone]

After being seperated for 9 months now, I know that you need to put yourself first and work on you and dealing with your own emotions. It is really hard to change a person who refuses to change. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Are any children envolved in this ? If so try to support them the best that you can.I will pray for your situation and hope that it is a smooth process.

I have a son from a previous relationship, but his birth father lives across the country and there is minimal contact with him. My son was 3 1/2 when my husband and I started dating, and 4 when we got married, my husband was the first man he called "dad." He's handled the separation well, he's a very intelligent and mature boy. I haven't told him that I'm filing. He still has hope that my husband and I will get back together, though the more I learn about his adulterous relationship, the more I realize that is just not going to be possible. His mistress is now being vengeful and sent me copies of emails that they exchanged over the last several months, including one last week. If she is that vindictive, and he is that careless to fall for it, I no longer want anything to do with him.

Blessings and love,
Shell

 

[Autumnleaf]

So call his mistress and ask if it was her or the other hussy who gave you and your husband AIDS. Have a bit o fun with it and see what happens.

 

[momofone]

So call his mistress and ask if it was her or the other hussy who gave you and your husband AIDS. Have a bit o fun with it and see what happens.

She and I had a very, very long talk today after I got home from church. He has been pulling the "I'm going to leave my wife," bit on her, while at the same time pulling the, "I love you and want to work on our marriage," bit on me. The more we talked the more angry I got, not at her, but at him. He's stupid, and I feel stupid for having let it go on for so long.

 

[Autumnleaf]

She and I had a very, very long talk today after I got home from church. He has been pulling the "I'm going to leave my wife," bit on her, while at the same time pulling the, "I love you and want to work on our marriage," bit on me. The more we talked the more angry I got, not at her, but at him. He's stupid, and I feel stupid for having let it go on for so long.

If you stayed with him hoping things would work out I don't see how that is stupid on your part. He's a liar and a cheat. If I were your brother I'd have a short 'talk' with him. As it is I pray for God to be there in force for you and yours.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Agreed. You are not stupid, but bravery is needed now.

Do what your intuition tells you.

 

[tryingtobeagain]

I'm so sorry this is happening. He' obviously trying to have both at the same time and because it's been going on so long he probably feels like he can manage to keep both. I hope you both leave him and move forward in a positive life. I know it's going to get really tough at times but know that you are doing the right thing. Your marriage was based on a lie. I pray you have strength right now.