Feminine Mystique

[msjones21]

I was wanting to get some various opinions from guys and gals. I was reading about Leslie Ludy's book Authentic Beauty and she uses the phrase "feminine mystique". It's about guarding our purity, our godly femininity though being modest.

Ladies - Have you read this book? If so do you have any feedback can you share?

Gents - What do you think of young women who dress modestly? Prudish and unattractive or beautifully pure and feminine?

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

I think a girl can look absolutely incredible in immodest clothing as well as jeans and a sweatshirt, and if they can pull it off both ways ...

 

[msjones21]

I think about Mandy Moore's character in "A Walk to Remember". I always apply the rule "dress attractively, don't dress to attract".

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

AHH GREAT MOVIE, I bought it after i saw it. and i hate it when girls dress kinda eh, you know. its hard for a guy to stay pure with all that running around on campus

 

[msjones21]

its hard for a guy to stay pure with all that running around on campus

So true. I don't understand why so many girls get offended at the mere suggestion of trying not to dress in a manner that would cause our Christian brothers to struggle with lust.

*makes mental note* Ask Santa for "A Walk to Remember".

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

haha, yea not many girls understand unless they are truly seeking Godly relationships. I being a guy have a walk to remember and YOU DONT? haha must be somethin wrong with me, yay post 95

 

[msjones21]

I being a guy have a walk to remember and YOU DONT? haha must be somethin wrong with me, yay post 95

Nah, I think it's awesome you can admit to enjoying wholesome, romantic movies like that. My DVD collection consists of "The Ring", "Black Beauty", "Fight Club", "Scarface", "Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone", "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets", and "The Matrix". LOL Oh, but I do have "How to Make and American Quilt" on VHS.

 

[tetelestai]

wow. some serious thread de-railing going on by you two. but ON topic i have not read the book. is it worth it? what are the main ideas?

i totally think that a uh...trashy woman does nothing good for her self. I think one of my older male aquantences hit that one home for me. he very candidly admits that when a girl dresses immodestly, even he looks. and i was like EEEK. because he is like 50 and an amazing Godly man. it just helped me realize how important it is that women do their best to protect the mental purity of our brothers in christ.

 

[Living4Him03]

just like if a good looking guy wears a speedo to class or something i mean shoot i am prolly gonna look, at least out of curiousity, it's human nature. lustful thoughts are another matter. people always think that if you dress modest as a female that you cannot be sexy...OH MY GOODNESS SHE SAID SEXY...lol yes folks guys can find you attractive and sexy without lusting after you! My grandmother always said that guys need a little mystery (and i suppose girls do too), so don't reveal everything! that's for marriage. So um dont show your cleavage and all. I have some cute outfits...well i think they are cute, and yet I am still modest in the way I dress. I agree with the quote from Walk to Remember...never seen that movie though. I think I might check it out sometime. I am kinda fed up with hollywood right now.

 

[Breetai]

I think that girls who dress modestly are definetly beautifully pure and feminine. I am not attracted to girls who dress like they are going out clubbing. I might look, but I loose so much respect for them. They look like...prostitutes. I don't want to be in a relationship with a girl that every guy that sees her is going to lust after her. Save the skimpy clothes for swimwear. Wearing bikinis is even fine by me, as long as it's not tiny. Girls don't look cheap in a respectful swimsuit.

I agree with Melissa, don't show your clevege. At least not much. If you do, do it with taste. The clothes that show off a woman are best reserved for special occasions such as formals and weddings.

That's my opinion.

 

[Nico]

I think dressing w/taste is the idea, at least for me. I personnally am not going to wear a long skirt and turtle neck out everyday I do think that the female body is beautiful and should be celebrated and I don't really think it's bad to feel and look sexy, but tastefull sexy. And usually that happens when you respect yourself. When you respect yourself, you can wear something that might reveal your breasts a little bit in some way, but you're not going to overdo it and show leg up to here, and have everything be really tight along w/ massive amounts of make-up. Besides, if you've got great legs (or breasts, or arms or eyes, whatever), then flaunt them! They're not going to stay great forever....I think you can show of your legs in a fun, yes sexy way, but not be trashy about it.

It's weird, I go to art school, and we look at naked people all day, since we're drawing them etc. And it is usually not accompanied by any sexual thoughts, or something. I can look at both a man, and woman's naked body and think it is beautiful, but for the shapes and naturalness of it. But it's not like I'm thinking about sex. And most of the guys I know (most of whom are not chrisitan either) are the same way....There's a different view and respect of the human body.

 

[LifeInYou]

Heh, my Spanish teacher in 9th grade (in response to someone's question as to how long our essays should be) said "like the length of a skirt, long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting." Modesty is a maxim of mine, but I think I put a little bit more responsibility on the gents. for keeping pure thoughts than what's been said here. The reason being, if the guy loves you or is really into you, you could have sweats and a t-shirt on and it may cause him to lust. Toe nails painted pink, a choker around the neck, or simply the way you smile could excite him. Now what he does with those thoughts from that point on is up to him, he can entertain them and carry them further to a place where he should not go. Or he can dispose of the thoughts as soon as they enter his mind. I refuse to resort to frock-wearing because he can't control his thoughts.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Heh, my Spanish teacher in 9th grade (in response to someone's question as to how long our essays should be) said "like the length of a skirt, long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting." Modesty is a maxim of mine, but I think I put a little bit more responsibility on the gents. for keeping pure thoughts than what's been said here. The reason being, if the guy loves you or is really into you, you could have sweats and a t-shirt on and it may cause him to lust. Toe nails painted pink, a choker around the neck, or simply the way you smile could excite him. Now what he does with those thoughts from that point on is up to him, he can entertain them and carry them further to a place where he should not go. Or he can dispose of the thoughts as soon as they enter his mind. I refuse to resort to frock-wearing because he can't control his thoughts.

I agree. And on the flip-flop, I also refuse to change the way I dress just because some girl gets some nasty thoughts.

Not that I give girls nasty thoughts or anything.

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

Just a thought, but arnt we as christians supposed to NOT put stumbling blocks in the way of our brothers and sisters?

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

in other words, isnt it selfish to not change our ways to help out our brothers and sisters in Christ?

 

[Living4Him03]

I don't think she meant to say that she can just dress immodestly and just wear what she wants...like wear a bikini to class and expect guys to just "deal" with it. She means that guys need to take some responsibility for their thoughts and not go blaming them on the girls all the time! If your thoughts become holy and pure and you think of good things, and let God take control, then you will notice it is easier to keep from thinking lustful thoughts. I am not going to force a guy to wear baggy pants and a big tshirt that doesnt show his muscles and blame the way he dresses for my lustful thoughts. As she said, you don't have to be dressed immodestly for lustful thoughts to occur. I agree we should not be stumbling blocks, but we can't just put a bag over ourselves and walk around! It's up to guys and girls to keep our thoughts pure. We can't just go blaming our lustful thoughts on others and call them stumbling blocks!

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

true, well said, i was just testing you!

 

[Living4Him03]

Guys in khakis are a real struggle for me...won't explain, but I am not going to tell a guy he can't wear khakis around me because it causes me to lust. I'm not going to blame that on him. Khakis are acceptable for guys to wear as being modest.

 

[Living4Him03]

lol oh...n/m then
now everyone knows my thing with khakis:o

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

lol oh...n/m then
now everyone knows my thing with khakis:o

Make a mental note: Cute girl likes khakis on men