Feelings of loneliness

I've typed this post out a few times, and each time it seems like I'm putting in too much information...so I'm just going to come out and say it up front. I've been feeling extremely lonely lately. I haven't had a steady girlfriend in over two years. (we dated for a little over a year) and I think the longest relationship I've had in the past two years lasted a little over two months....but most relationships I've had don't last past the third of fourth date. I tried for a while to find a good christian girl to date..but it just seems like there aren't any out there...or that aren't already taken.

I prayed to God for help...to either help me find a good christian girl to start a relationship with, or to help me get rid of these feelings of loneliness. But it seems like the more I ask for God's help, the worse things become. In the past few months I've ran into almost all of the girls that I've dated in the past two years....most of them are happily involved with in relationships with great guys (Including the one that I dated for over a year) Just being around couples makes me uncomfortable...and it's really starting to effect me.

I've noticed that I've been isolating myself here in the past month. I don't hang out with any of my friend anymore...they all have girl/boy friends and it makes me uncomfortable when they start talking about it. I'm pretty much clueless as to what I should do. I've accepted the fact that God doesn't want me to be in a relationship right now, but it still doesn't change the way I feel.

I need some advice on what I should do....before this becomes a serious problem....Thanks.

I prayed to God for help...to either help me find a good christian girl to start a relationship with, or to help me get rid of these feelings of loneliness

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selfish selfish request (I should know, I had the same request, two years late, got a Girlfriend) Maybe you need some time alone to see that God is your friend as well, humans could be getting in the way of that? I don't know, I can't help more than that, sorry.

I think what God is doing is getting you focused more on him and less on people. Too often we rely on people when we should be relying on God. Just get as close as you can to God. When you're that close, you'll understand

I prayed to God for help...to either help me find a good christian girl to start a relationship with, or to help me get rid of these feelings of loneliness.

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selfish selfish request

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I don't understand how you could say that is selfish. He is just saying what is in his heart and God delights when we are honest with Him. God never intended us to be lonely... we by nature, seek relationships. When we feel lonely, we need to realize that God is always there... and it's a relationship with Him that we need to seek first, only then can we truly appreciate other relationships.

Hey buddy, Well there is one thing that i see is clearly what is stopping all this from happening. God is doing this in my life as well but you need to just hear him out. I've been trying to find the right guy but I can't because he is sayin "Danielle, there is a reason why I dont want you having a boyfriend. I want you all to myself. I want to be your first love, I want you to put me first" You see, God is a Jealous God. Before we can be in a relationship with someone our relationship with God needs to be straightened out and strong first. Cool!? Hope I've helped!

danielle

I sort of know how you feel. It's tought to be surrounded by people that are happy in there relationships and feel like a loner. And to those who are in relationships, you guys need to surround these single friends with love and compasion. God obviously has a different plan for you. Focus on him and you will see thing more clearly. Don't isolate yourself either. Get out there and do stuff. You'll see theres more out there like yourself than you think!


Ryan

I can relate to that lonliness brother...I've been dealing with it for about 4 years now. I've NEVER dated, sure I've been in love plenty of times, but no one that I ever liked has ever cared about me enough to ask me out...so here I am, alone still...hang in there, don't go off dating any old girl that you find, alright??? Try to be more social, hang out with some guys who are Christians for a night once a month, just you and the guys if you can...go to youth group events...stuff like that...and say to your friends, "can you please not talk about your relationships around me, it makes me uncomfortable." If they don't respect that, look around for some other friends to hang with at school...make sure they are Christian or not into bad stuff. God bless, good luck, I'll be praying for you on this issue.

Hi Nater,
I am so sorry about your lonliness. I am going to put a different spin on this. I learned recently, that a lonly person can be just as lonely inside a relationship as outside one. Marriage can sometimes be a lonely experience for other reasons(like if you rush it and marry the wrong person). Try as hard as you can to enjoy your single times, because once you get into a relationship, there isn't much time left for other relationships, they become harder work to maintain. I also believe that judging your season is very important. You are iin a season of isolation, and as much as it hurts, I am sure you know there are reasons for it, and that it will not last forever. You sound like a strong Christian,, so I will assume for a second that you probably are not necessarily lonely just so that you can be closer to God(even though it does drive you closer to Him naturally) but also because in order for God to make us ready for something as big as marriage, he has to drive us to a point of truly desiring it out of a pure heart. You are being humbled. The best marriages result from a union of 2 very whole and very humble people. Trust me, you will look back on this time and thank God for allowing you to suffer for a time, so that He could make you the husband that your future wife deserves. God chastises those whom He loves. He is working to provide for you a very blessed marriage. What an awesome thought. Your marriage is in God's hands, so it will always be blessed. What I can see is that there is very much hope, because if you are really being broken right now, then that means God is preparing you very intensly, which is an indication that it won't be much longer. So hang in there. Be Patient. Go out and be a blessing to others so you can fine tune your vision, and you will find your wife working in the field.
P.S. My husband and I have been married 5 yrs. He prayed for a wife and didn't date for 4yrs. In the meantime I got saved, and started waiting on God myself. We prayed and God brought us together. We were friends for a while and then God revealed to both of us at the same time that the other was the one. We were engaged overnight. No funny business. We heard from God directly. We decided not to kiss until we were married(a little extreme I know) and we didn't. We feared and obeyed God all along the way, and our marriage is SO RICHLY BLESSED! You will reap the harvest of your obedience in waiting now FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. So rejoice and be excedingly glad. What a blessing you will be to your wife, and what a blessing she will be to you, as she is being prepared for you also like Esther was for her husband. God won't give you just any girl, He will give you the finest.
Littlefishy

I'm married with many children, have many close relatives, work a good job where I'm surrounded by people, and I feel lonely at times. I usually feel less lonely during times when I've studied God's word and prayed for his will be done like Jesus did. In time things will change for you.