I've been feeling really lonely this past few years. I've always been a quiet kid so it's even harder for me to make friends. Whenever I do make one, they always leave me for no reason. I used to go to lunch at my school with a group of people, but they recently ditched me (On one occasion I went to get water and told them to wait for me for a few seconds, and when I turned around, they ran away from me). My mother would routinely leave me and my dad and come back but she hasn't come back since 2010. I used to be able to count on my dad but he's so caught up with his new church building (he's the pastor) we haven't done anything together in a few months. He does leave money for me so I do get to eat but it's really depressing because I feel like he doesn't want anything to do with me. In fact, he found out who I was supporting this election and yelled at me in front of the neighbors and humiliated me.
I just can't seem to fit in with anyone. I prayed for an hour the other day and didn't get anything. No tingly feeling in my stomach, no feeling of happiness, just emptiness. I don't know why this is. I pray every night, in church every Sunday, and I still feel terrible. I haven't been happy in with my life since I was small, I've just been so sad. I don't feel like hurting myself though, and I've been seeing a counselor. I'm just really hurting. I remember when I was younger even the church kids used to pick on me. I feel like the disabled man at the pool of Bethesda. All of the kids who stopped going to church are successful while I continue to go to church and feel empty. Sorry for the long read and thank you for putting up with this.
I just can't seem to fit in with anyone. I prayed for an hour the other day and didn't get anything. No tingly feeling in my stomach, no feeling of happiness, just emptiness. I don't know why this is. I pray every night, in church every Sunday, and I still feel terrible. I haven't been happy in with my life since I was small, I've just been so sad. I don't feel like hurting myself though, and I've been seeing a counselor. I'm just really hurting. I remember when I was younger even the church kids used to pick on me. I feel like the disabled man at the pool of Bethesda. All of the kids who stopped going to church are successful while I continue to go to church and feel empty. Sorry for the long read and thank you for putting up with this.
