Feeling marriage falling apart

[~PICKLE~]

hi everybody, I've been gone for awhile............ computer broke on me. I'm at my mom's so I thought I'd hop on CF and relieve some weight on my shoulders.

Right now I feel alone and that my marriage is falling apart. My husband and I have been together for 7 years now, and we have to beautiful kids, ages 5 and 1. Ususally things are great, but lately, I feel that we're slipping apart. We have gone from everyday to nothing in 2 months ( the S word) I haven't even slept in my bed in 2 months because our 5 year old won't sleep in his bed he wants to sleep with daddy. And I can't sleep in a 2 inch space so I sleep in my son's bed. I'm feeling the toll now......we are at each other all the time. And we have no relationship now.... It's hard to explain... I just feel alone and depressed all the time. I love this man and have been through alot with him. I just don't know what to do.

 

[brokenbananas]

Picklereed,

Get your son out of your bed and put him back in his own bed, even if he cries. He'll get over it. It's important for you and your husband to be together. Talk with your husband. How about a datenight for the both of you?

I'll be praying for you guys.

 

[andiesmama]

Picklereed,

Get your son out of your bed and put him back in his own bed, even if he cries. He'll get over it. It's important for you and your husband to be together. Talk with your husband. How about a datenight for the both of you?

I'll be praying for you guys.

Totally agree, Doris' advice is right on the money! A husband & wife need alone time. You need the intimacy to bring yourselves closer together. Is there someone who could watch the kids maybe for the weekend so you guys can re-connect? At the least, try to do as Doris suggested...make a date night after the kids are in bed.

Prayers for you!!

 

[Melbelle]

I agree with the above pickle, your son needs to learn that he needs to sleep in his bed. btw miss talking with ya on the phone...

 

[Cright]

I hope this doesn't sound crule it is TOTALLY not my intent... but have you watched "The Nanny"?

She has an awesome way of teaching parents to enforce bed time in THEIR OWN bed! It's not easy for the parent to have to be firm and consistant all the time, but it works. Your the Mom... and what you say MUST GO! You are married to your husband, your child is that... your child. Put him in his bed, and no matter how many times he gets up, put him back there.. nicely the first two times.. and the second time you just say "time for bed" and walk him there.. if it happens again then you totally ignore him.. don't say anything and just walk him back and put him in bed and leave and close the door.

after a few nights there will be much less effort.. he'll know your consistant and he'll stay there. If you don't control this now, no one will. This is a problem in alot of marriages.. being consistant will be a reward for you and your husband and your child!!

I'll keep you in my prayers!

God Bless,
Carina

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

I have to agree with everyone so far. I've notice that if my husband and I aren't intimate with each for a length of time we really start to get at each other. It's not really because of the lack of sex but rather the lack of intimacy and emotional reconnection we get when we make love. We need that reconnection every so often. I don't know of I'm making any sense but when we have the physical closeness it brings us closer together emotionally too.

 

[isaiah5213]

okay:

i know we gave advice to say NO to the kiddo here, but is this something that the dad is encouraging??? is he wanting the little boy to sleep w/him??
it is normal for sons to draw away from their mommies, and start to cling to their daddies. they want to be little men. they want to think, walk, talk, act, like daddy. (see dobson, bringing up boys) if your husband is encouraging this in your son, or saying "let him do this" then have a gentle, nice, loving talk w/him, about how he wants to raise his son... this is a BOY. the boy needs to learn to sleep by himself. how to be strong. how to be more independent. boys don't sleep w/boys. try that way.

if this is hard, have your husband give his son something of his to put in his room, and think of his daddy when he looks at it... like: my son, (7) has my husband's lava lamp in his room.. it not only works as a night light, but it is a gift of his daddy's... it makes him feel protected and taken care of.

my daughter has a picture of us under her pillow. try that.

then, when your son is in his own bed, think of 5 good things to say about your hubby every night.. say them to him when you two get into the bed. in the dark, if you want. start there... if your husband likes physical touch, stroke his hair. scratch is back. rub his arms. massage him.. every single night before you sleep. that way, your husband is not going to want your son in your bed anymore... because he won't get that personal time from ya!

again, this is just a start..

 

[~PICKLE~]

Sorry it's been awhile since I've replied..... I don't have a computer at home and I'm not always here at my mom's.... Well, we are working on things.... Our Annniver. was this past Saturday. WE went out to dinner and to a movie. That night we put Reed in his bed after he fell asleep. For some reason he is scared of his room and the upstairs. I feel cruel for making him go in there alone. But I need to sleep in my bed and be with my husband. Things right now are ok, thanks for the prayers.

 

[Evie]

Picklereed,

Get your son out of your bed and put him back in his own bed, even if he cries. He'll get over it. It's important for you and your husband to be together. Talk with your husband. How about a datenight for the both of you?

I'll be praying for you guys.

kids don't belong in a married couples bed. (God made this to be a place for husband and wife only)They have their own rooms to sleep in,make them stay ther
I agree. You need a date to reconcile with him. Believe me,it will help you alot. Have a sister,cousin,gramma anyone to watch them. Get away from it all and let you be you and him be him...

 

[Evie]

Picklereed,

Get your son out of your bed and put him back in his own bed, even if he cries. He'll get over it. It's important for you and your husband to be together. Talk with your husband. How about a datenight for the both of you?

I'll be praying for you guys.

kids don't belong in a married couples bed. (God made this to be a place for husband and wife only)They have their own rooms to sleep in,make them stay ther
I agree. You need a date to reconcile with him. Believe me,it will help you alot. Have a sister,cousin,gramma anyone to watch them. Get away from it all