Feeling alone...

[Inkachu]

There are so many resources out there for stepparents. How to be a good stepmom, a good stepdad, how to understand the kids, etc. Where are the books, resources, and support groups for the biological parents who are stuck in the middle? You've got your new spouse on one end who's struggling, your child(ren) on the other end who are struggling, and you're being pulled from both sides and who the heck understands what you're dealing with? All the sympathy and support go to the stepparent and the kids. Your spouse seems unhappy, your kids seem unhappy, and you feel like you've just ruined everyone's life. Maybe there is stuff out there, but as I'm new to this life, I don't know how to find it. And no, my life isn't horrible, we're just going through the bumps and lumps of being a new family and some of it is extreeeeemely painful. Most of it is me having to watch what everyone else is dealing with, I feel so helpless to make things better.

I need a hug

 

[Yoona86]

There are so many resources out there for stepparents. How to be a good stepmom, a good stepdad, how to understand the kids, etc. Where are the books, resources, and support groups for the biological parents who are stuck in the middle? You've got your new spouse on one end who's struggling, your child(ren) on the other end who are struggling, and you're being pulled from both sides and who the heck understands what you're dealing with? All the sympathy and support go to the stepparent and the kids. Your spouse seems unhappy, your kids seem unhappy, and you feel like you've just ruined everyone's life. Maybe there is stuff out there, but as I'm new to this life, I don't know how to find it. And no, my life isn't horrible, we're just going through the bumps and lumps of being a new family and some of it is extreeeeemely painful. Most of it is me having to watch what everyone else is dealing with, I feel so helpless to make things better.

I need a hug

big hug

 

[Inkachu]

Thanks, Yoona

 

[Max Shade]

Hug from here.

I hear ya, my wife expresses these feelings too sometimes . . except the "All the sympathy and support go to the stepparent and the kids", part she often feels guilty because her old spouse was a "do nothing" & she was pretty much raising him and the kids by herself . . . now she has help (from me) and feels I do too much. But the rest of it yeah, my wife says those things sometimes. Hope ya get to feeling better.

 

[Inkachu]

Thanks, Max

 

[Max Shade]

Thanks, Max

You are welcome, now off I go to fold laundry.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

Yes there are books out there for you. There is a blended family resource from the folks who wrote the course "Raising Kids God's Way" and another book with Stepfamily in the title. Sorry, I'm too tired to find it right now, but the cover is burgundy. I haven't finished any of the above yet, but there was some good stuff in what I did read.

 

[Inkachu]

Just a quick look on Amazon, and I see "Raising Children God's Way" and "Growing Kids God's Way" and "Raising Kid's God's Way". Which one are you referring to? The third one is by Kathi Hudson, is that the one?

 

[eatenbylocusts]

No, it's by the Ezzos. My church just started the teen class which I signed up for because things are really bad with my step son manifesting with failing grades at school. My dh could probably get primary custody of him at this point which would probably be best for the boy. Hopefully the class will give my dh some insight on what to do.

Also the Smart Step family by Ron Deal.

Guess I need to get to reading.

I have been in the position of feeling like I need to stand up for my dd at times, but I usually have a talk with my dh when we're alone and let him know what is bothering me. My dd is the good girl who gets excellent grades and does almost everything we ask except eat neater and take her hair off the shower walls after she washes her hair. I have worried that she doesn't get enough positive attention because her step-brother always has the spotlight somehow when he's here.