Try giving up what you think and ask what does God think. that is how you seek heaven. Until you do that you are your own idol before God.
You fear punishment. Jesus said fear God who can destroy both body and soul in hell. Some people say no your never to fear God love cast out all fear, that is also from the Bible, but Jesus said to fear. we do not fear punishment any longer but trust in Jesus He has saved us, we love God. what we fear is being that bad son, having God turn His face away from us. We fear doing wrong and disappointing God, having Him turn His face from us. That is how we fear God. When God appeared He always said be not afraid, because humans fear that much power, but God does not want us to fear His power even. He wants us to fear doing wrong and walking off the path from God. This is shown in the first thing God said to Adam, you may eat of all the tree but the tree of Good and evil, if you eat of it you will die that day. God showed Him right away to have fear, and Adam had fear at first, but of death not of having God turn His face from him. So Adam ate when the fear of death was removed, but fear of doing wrong in God's eyes can never be removed because no one can move God any where. What did happen to Adam? God turned His face from Him, they were kicked out of Eden. They had no fear of walking off the path so they walked off the path. WHat keeps you on a lit path through a dark forest at night? The lights? right, fear of going away from that light. Get it. The path remains lit, and the light will come after you if you leave, if you are saved, but for a time you'll be in dark, you must then follow the light back to the path. The light is Jesus and the path is your life through this world that God has laid out.
You fear punishment. Jesus said fear God who can destroy both body and soul in hell. Some people say no your never to fear God love cast out all fear, that is also from the Bible, but Jesus said to fear. we do not fear punishment any longer but trust in Jesus He has saved us, we love God. what we fear is being that bad son, having God turn His face away from us. We fear doing wrong and disappointing God, having Him turn His face from us. That is how we fear God. When God appeared He always said be not afraid, because humans fear that much power, but God does not want us to fear His power even. He wants us to fear doing wrong and walking off the path from God. This is shown in the first thing God said to Adam, you may eat of all the tree but the tree of Good and evil, if you eat of it you will die that day. God showed Him right away to have fear, and Adam had fear at first, but of death not of having God turn His face from him. So Adam ate when the fear of death was removed, but fear of doing wrong in God's eyes can never be removed because no one can move God any where. What did happen to Adam? God turned His face from Him, they were kicked out of Eden. They had no fear of walking off the path so they walked off the path. WHat keeps you on a lit path through a dark forest at night? The lights? right, fear of going away from that light. Get it. The path remains lit, and the light will come after you if you leave, if you are saved, but for a time you'll be in dark, you must then follow the light back to the path. The light is Jesus and the path is your life through this world that God has laid out.