Father's Day *t*

[shazabella]

Father's Day is tommorow.

*scream* ok i officially hate father's day its just a reminder of how much we try and be the gr8 happy family and we can ignore the years of abuse he inflicted on me.

*scream* am i the only one who absolutely hates father's day ? Tommorow is all about him ... and give me one good reason why he deserves it ? I've been warned not to make trouble tommorow - and i won't , but yeah its a huge trigger for me and hey if it was up to me we wouldn't be doing a bloody thing.

So I'm going to be the perfect daughter tommorow ... what other option is there ? i'm expected to thank him for what he's done for me as a father ...

*t*

yeah well thanx for paying for the yrs of therapy bills to help me cope with the abuse which u inflicted. Thank you for ruining my life, thank you for the fear you showed me, thank you for taking me to the hospital after you were the one who lost his temper and caused me to have an injury needing urgent medical attention , thank you for teaching me how to deceive people to keep our little secret safe, thank you for showing me just how screwed up my life is , thank you for the lack of support you have shown over the whole G thing , thank you for laughing in my face , thank you for making me think that it was all my fault , thank you for turning your back on me when i needed u the most.

Thank you for showing me what i don't want in my partner or in anyone in my life. Thank you for the many nights i've cried myself to sleep because of you. Thank you for showing me the bad side of humanity in the man who God chose to raise me. Thanks for making me feel so alone in the world I really love living in fear of you. Thanks for never being able to be man enough to say sorry to me I'm not asking for a million dollars compensation just a heartfelt appology. Thank you for shaping me into the person that i am - i love being a complete stress head perfectionist because of you.

*t*

So yeah happy father's day Dad

- Shaz

 

[luv4godremains]

I'm sorry Shaz, and, I hate fathers day too, but, I'm lucky with it, my dad lives over the other side of the country, and he never rings, so no need to worry bout that one! I'm sorry hun, I'll be praying that it's ok for you, and that you cope with it all and stay strong. God bless

 

[HeyJupiter]

((((SHAZ)))))

hun im sorry ur having a bad day, i know ur not the only one, i think they are pointless, (mothers and fathers day) i

 

[marieg]

I used to hate Fathers Day, but I don't anymore, its all about giving it to God and allowing God to come into the deepest pain,we have to forgive but by doing that we are released from that person and we can move on, I know I am a different person, I don't hate my mother or father or anyone that has abused me in the past. I am not a super spiritual person but over the years I have learned to trust and realise it to the Lord. If you see your dad at any time ask the Lord to put a hedge of protection around you, put on the full armour of God. Don't allow yourself to be a victim,the Lord see's you as his precious child you have been purchased by the blood of Jesus.

marieg

 

[HeyJupiter]

just because someone is saying they hate FD doenst mean they are being a victim, the person who started this topic is a survivor!

 

[marieg]

just because someone is saying they hate FD doenst mean they are being a victim, the person who started this topic is a survivor!

I think that you are misunderstanding what I am trying to put over, we are all surviror's but we can be more than that, we can become victims because of our perceptions of parenting, there are many who follow the same path that there parents followed. It is only when break the cycle can you be free. What I said was not meant to be little how the person was feeling. I too have been physicaly,emotionaly and sexually abused and I know that I became a victim, its not that you want to be one. But until you can let go of the pain and the wrong beliefs that you have aquired about yourself, it can effect you in many other areas of your life. None of us like to be called victims but there is no getting away from it, that is what can happen.

I am not speaking with no knowledge of the subject this is the field I work in.

marieg

 

[shazabella]

ok can we please not talk about me as if I'm not around ? I understand what both of you have said and i honestly appreciate the feedback ... I have never for one minute seen myself as the victim and i don't care if people see me like that . The victim died when i was hurt, the survivor had to get thru this and she is. The victim was shut up by what happened the survivor is allowed to tell other people to stop this happening to someone else.

- Shaz

 

[The Julikenz]

Hey babe .

Fathers day on Sunday was hard for me too. I didn't call him, i felt ok about it, kinda. I am praying things get easier for you, love you sweetie.

 

[marieg]

Hi Shazabella

I am so sorry if I affended you it was not meant that to be in that way. I know that you are a surviour and I amm not going to put you down for that. I am a mother of six girls and they have been through what you have been through. They would tell you themselves that it effected there relationships with other people. I did not mean to talk over you, you have to do what is right for you. I have to say it hurt that I had upset you I am sorry . I am not posting any more on this forum.

marieg

 

[rogsr]

shazza,

Your anger is profound. Hate consumes us like fire, it eats away all that is lovely inside of us. Beware of its presence in you, it will probably be there until you die, just waiting to appear and start destroying. I trully understand your anger, I have anger like that too. I fear it because its full potential finds its maturation in the complete devastation of my life. I cope, fairly well, by loving hard those that trully love me too. Love overcomes hate, good overcomes evil. Keep the faith.

Love & Peace