Family Problem

[SherryWilliams]

Lately I have been feeling sort of ill will towards my family for what they put me through for the belittling , gossip,jealousy,backstabbing ,arguing is family suppose to be this bad?When you think of family you think of support .I have always been discouraged by them ,to the point now I don't even want to be around them .I know this is wrong ,but I do not like being around my family members,but I know I should forgive them and Im trying .Does anyone else have this type of family problems if so how do you cope?

 

[goldenviolet]

i just got out of hospital two days ago from family related strees. it is common for family issues to weigh heavily on us. even more so when it's dysfunctional.
don't feel gulty for not beable to be patient enough, king enough, forgiving enough, etc. the truth is, once it's a stumbling block, you need to step back and care for yourself/ let God have your struggles. there will probly be another chance to try again. the cycle goes on.
trust Jesus that the seeds of healling are in there somewhere and pray for softened hearts to recieve them. healling is possible. longsuffering is just the way it is for some of us.

 

[Anti Existance]

You don't need that kind of family in your life, simply cast out the family members out of your life that you dislike.

 

[Johnnz]

We have no choice about being born into our family. Some families are great. Others are just not there as they should be. It leaves a hole in our lives when we don't have a good family, because that is not what God intended them to be.

Sadly, our family may need to be at the fringe of our life. That does happen. When it does we need to ensure that our inner attitudes don't get corroded, as that hurts us too.

John
NZ

 

[DeaconDean]

You know, I went through the same thing with my Dad. All through my life I had to listen to things that he said like I wasn't worth the salt God put in the bread I ate, I wasn't ever going to amount to anything, I was worthless, etc. You know what, when I turned 16, all I really did was use home for a place to eat and sleep. I never was at home when he was there. When I turned 18 I moved out on my own and have never looked back. Now I live 240 miles from my Dad, he is at the coast of N.C. and I live in the Piedmont. And we get along fine, as long as we're not around each other for long periods of time. My Mom used to joke that she knew she was in trouble when I was born in the early part of August because that meant two Leo's lived in the same house. Get out on your own if you can. I think then you can choose the times you want to be around your family and it will probably help in the forgiving and healing area. I'll be praying for you. God Bless.

 

[rockytriton]

I don't think it's wrong to not want to be around someone, even your family member. We should really love everyone as if they are our family anyway. Don't dwell on these things, try to overcome your feelings. The difference between someone who is mature and someone who is immature is that the mature person acts on responsibilities, the immature person acts on feelings. Don't let the feelings overcome you, you need to just ignore the immature people. Let them know that they are being immature if you wish, but responding to it is only feeding the fire. I hope this makes sense to you.

 

[SherryWilliams]

Thanks for the support guys it feels good to know Im not alone.Allthough my family is some what mean spirited ,they do have some good qualities .I've just got to dig deep and toughen up .I refuse to let satan steal my joy.I know that he only uses weak vessels to do his work all I can do is try to come from a loving place regardless of what the enemy throws my way .Thanks for the encouraging words.

 

[UnitynLove]

Many people ruin their lives and their health by eating the poison of bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness. Matthew 18:23-35 tells us that, if we do not forgive people, we get turned over to the torturers. If you have a problem in this area or have ever had one, I am sure you bear witness with what I am saying. It is torture to have hateful thoughts rolling around inside of you toward another person.
Who Are You Helping When You Forgive?
Who are you helping the most when you forgive the person who hurt you? Actually, you are helping yourself more than the other person. I always looked at forgiving people who had hurt me as being a really hard thing to do. I thought it seemed so unfair for them to receive forgiveness when I had gotten hurt. I got pain, and they got free without having to pay for the pain they caused me. Now I realized that I am helping myself when I choose to forgive. I am helping the other person also by releasing them, so God can do what only He can do. If I am in the way, trying to get revenge or taking care of the situation myself instead of trusting and obeying God, He has no obligation to deal with that person. However, God will deal with the people who hurt us if we will put them in His hands through forgiveness. It is our seed of obedience to His Word; and once we have sown our seed, He will bring a harvest of blessing to us one way or another.
I am helping myself, because when I forgive I release God to work. I am happy when I am not full of the poison of unforgiveness. I feel better physically. Serious diseases can come as a result of the stress and pressure that bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness put on a person. Mark 11:22-26 clearly teaches us that unforgiveness hinders our faith from working. The Father cannot forgive our sins if we do not forgive other people (we reap what we sow). Sow mercy, and you will reap mercy; sow judgement, and you will reap judgement. Do yourself a favor and forgive.
There are still more benefits of forgiveness. When you are willing to forgive, your fellowship with God has a free flow. Unforgiveness blocks it. Paul said that we are to forgive in order to keep Satan from getting an advantage over us (11 Corinthians 2: 10-11). Ephesians 4:26-27 says that we are not to let the sun go down on our anger. Do not give the devil any such foothold or opportunity. Remember that the devil must have a foothold before he can get a stronghold. Be quick to forgive. Do not help the devil torture you. I also think it is hard to hate one person and love another. When we are full of wrong things, it is hard to treat anybody right. Even people you want to love may be suffering from your bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness.
How To Forgive
Like everything else, there are practical steps to forgiving people that must be taken if we are going to be successful at it. I asked the Lord why so many people seem to want to forgive and yet are not successful doing it. He said, "because they are not obeying what I tell them to do in the Word." As I searched the Word, I found the following instructions:
1. Decide. You will never forgive if you wait to feel like it. Choose to obey God and steadfastly resist the devil in his attempts to poison you again with bitter thoughts. Make a quality decision, and God will heal your wounded emotions in due time.
2. Depend. You cannot forgive without the power of the Holy Spirit. It is too hard to do on your own. If you are truly willing, God will enable you; but you are going to need to humble yourself and cry out to Him for help. In John 20:22-23, Jesus breathed on the disciples and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit. " His next instruction was about forgiving people. We certainly can use this as an example and ask Him to breathe on us that we might be able to forgive those who hurt us.
3. Obey. There are several things we are told do in the Word concerning forgiving our enemies.
a. Pray for your enemies and those who abuse and misuse you. Pray for their happiness and welfare (Luke 6:27-28 Amplified). As you pray, God may be able to give them revelation that will bring them out of deception. They may not even be aware they hurt you, or maybe they are aware but are so self-centered that they do not care. Either way, they need revelation.
b. Bless and do not curse them (Romans 12:14). In the Greek, to bless means "to speak well of" and to curse means "to speak evil of." You cannot forgive and gossip or be a talebearer. You must stop repeating the offense. You cannot get over it and also continue to talk about it. Proverbs 17:9 says that he who seeks to cover an offense seeks love.
Who Should Forgive?
Forgive the person from long ago who hurt you very badly and also the person whom you did not know in the grocery store, for stepping on your toe. Take those two extremes and forgive them in addition to everyone in between. Forgive quickly. The quicker you do it, the easier it is. Forgive freely. Matthew 10:8 says freely you have received, freely give. Forgiveness means to excuse a fault, absolve from payment, pardon, send away, cancel, and bestow favor unconditionally.
When you forgive, you must cancel the debt. Do not spend your life paying and collecting debts. Hebrews 10:30 says that vengeance belongs to the Lord; He will repay and settle the cases of His people. Let God pay you for past injustices; do not try to collect from the people who hurt you, because the people who hurt you cannot pay you. Matthew 18:25 says ..."he could not pay".
Also forgive yourself for past sins and for hurts you have caused others. You cannot pay people back, so ask God to.
Forgive God if you are angry at Him because your life did not turn out the way you thought it should. God is always just. There may be things you do not understand; but God loves you, and people make a serious mistake if they will not receive help from the only One who can truly help.
You may even need to forgive an object—the post office, bank, a certain store you feel cheated you, a car that always gave you trouble, etc. Get rid of all poison that comes from bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness; and remember Proverbs 4:23 (Amplified), "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance...for out of it flow the springs of life." Unforgiveness is spiritual filthiness; get washed in the water of the Word and stay clean. God bless you!