Hi, I have this female friend that has been a friend a long time, she is victim, of sexual abuse and other physical abuse. She is a great person but there are very dark times when she lives in total fear. She is now 53 she is single and started fearing being alone in her old age. She met a man who I do not know but apparently she felt sorry for him in some way. She has habit of picking up anything that is a stray animal or human. Anyway she talked him in to getting married. He was about to loose his house, he had been out of work over a year. The idea is they are married but they don't have sex (she cant), they are basically roommates and live in separate rooms. She told me they do not love each other but they are friends. She pays her half he pays his half.
I thought about this and was thinking marriage has a special place in GOD's heart, it is for two people male and female who love each other. They may be friends but I sense there are already problems. I know the man is a non-believer totally she has already tried talking to him about Jesus. He does not want to hear it. But does not prevent her from displaying a few pictures of Jesus or going to church.
She tells me, he is very pessimistic, I know it. Even though I don't know him I know her and her Spirit constantly needs to be cheered up. I pray for her every night and try to lift her to the Lord and it seems our talks about Jesus get her back on track.
She treats this marriage as if it is a real sanctified marriage but I see it as a simple contract to live together, to help each other financially she struggles making it, the man does not threaten her, he pretty much keeps to himself apparently he has never even been in any kind of a relationship at all and that bothers me, why?
It feels to me like the only reason he did this is that he was about to loose his house and with her paying half they are still on the edge but making it.
So how do you think GOD looks at this. They married at a justice of the peace, they did use a Bible and traditional vows, and they kissed but that was it.
I don't think GOD was there because it makes a mockery of marriage, I understand why she did it. Just don't think it was right . Isn't this a marriage under false pretense and how would GOD view that?
And what about if he fails to pay his half or her for that matter what do they do then? She asked for my honest opinion, I told her I think she was wrong and that before this marriage goes further they need to end it. She said but GOD does not like divorce, and I said I am not sure HE was there. We are good friends and can talk like this. I told her there are many solutions to being single and older and not wanting to be alone getting married to someone you don't love is not the answer. She believes she can't love because she has been so sexually abused that she can't have sex and needed a man who didn't care about sex or love or know anything about it. She said all that is too complicated, this is easier, he leaves me alone but he is here we can talk and share things but pretty much we keep to ourselves.
I told her I don't think this will work out, but that I would always be here as a friend and that I will pray for her. I could be real wrong in this and if so I need to make amends. Is there anything Biblical that supports what I believe. I have been looking, but I am not real good at research.
They could possibly grow to love each other, it is possible he might become a believer by being with her, all might work out. But 3 months into this marriage she is frustrated with his pessimistic attitude and he has missed once on his half and she had to cover his half. Now he has a job. But what I see is that she is constantly down, things not going well. When she use to be up most the time, if times were tough her faith carried her. Now it seems she has lost a lot of faith has not been to church in many months, it seems like her Spirit is dying or very weak.
Thank you
Ken
I thought about this and was thinking marriage has a special place in GOD's heart, it is for two people male and female who love each other. They may be friends but I sense there are already problems. I know the man is a non-believer totally she has already tried talking to him about Jesus. He does not want to hear it. But does not prevent her from displaying a few pictures of Jesus or going to church.
She tells me, he is very pessimistic, I know it. Even though I don't know him I know her and her Spirit constantly needs to be cheered up. I pray for her every night and try to lift her to the Lord and it seems our talks about Jesus get her back on track.
She treats this marriage as if it is a real sanctified marriage but I see it as a simple contract to live together, to help each other financially she struggles making it, the man does not threaten her, he pretty much keeps to himself apparently he has never even been in any kind of a relationship at all and that bothers me, why?
It feels to me like the only reason he did this is that he was about to loose his house and with her paying half they are still on the edge but making it.
So how do you think GOD looks at this. They married at a justice of the peace, they did use a Bible and traditional vows, and they kissed but that was it.
I don't think GOD was there because it makes a mockery of marriage, I understand why she did it. Just don't think it was right . Isn't this a marriage under false pretense and how would GOD view that?
And what about if he fails to pay his half or her for that matter what do they do then? She asked for my honest opinion, I told her I think she was wrong and that before this marriage goes further they need to end it. She said but GOD does not like divorce, and I said I am not sure HE was there. We are good friends and can talk like this. I told her there are many solutions to being single and older and not wanting to be alone getting married to someone you don't love is not the answer. She believes she can't love because she has been so sexually abused that she can't have sex and needed a man who didn't care about sex or love or know anything about it. She said all that is too complicated, this is easier, he leaves me alone but he is here we can talk and share things but pretty much we keep to ourselves.
I told her I don't think this will work out, but that I would always be here as a friend and that I will pray for her. I could be real wrong in this and if so I need to make amends. Is there anything Biblical that supports what I believe. I have been looking, but I am not real good at research.
They could possibly grow to love each other, it is possible he might become a believer by being with her, all might work out. But 3 months into this marriage she is frustrated with his pessimistic attitude and he has missed once on his half and she had to cover his half. Now he has a job. But what I see is that she is constantly down, things not going well. When she use to be up most the time, if times were tough her faith carried her. Now it seems she has lost a lot of faith has not been to church in many months, it seems like her Spirit is dying or very weak.
Thank you
Ken
