Im curious to see how long it takes for people to fall in love. I have been dating my bf for over 6 months now and i have been deeply in love with him for over 3months ( we have also been best friends for over three years). He on the other hand isnt quite there yet, which is worring me a little. This is the first time that i have ever been in love, and i am finding myself becoming worried that he wont develope that kind of deep emotional attachment for me. I know that he cares deeply for me and sees the qualities that he wants in a wife in me, but hes lacking the being in love part. I have also talked to him about my concerns and he says that he will prob get there in time and has asked me to just be patient, but im still a little worried bc ive allowed myself to be very emotionally vulnerable with him (something that i rarely do). i realize that im probably just being silly about all of this, but i figure that if i hear some other peoples experiences it might help calm my worries. Thanks, im looking forward to hearing about some interesting experiences...
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Falling in love...
- Thread starter christianhikerchick
- Start date
waxlion10
Just shut up and be delicious- Dwight
My boyfriend and I dated for TWO YEARS before he said "I love you."
His original ideal was to not tell a girl "I love you" until he was "ready to commit his life to her" (iow, get engaged).
Some people think this is stupid; I felt it was very respectful of him, and it worked in our relationship. We were definitely "in love" early in the relationship, but we wanted to wait until our love had matured a bit and been tested a bit to say it. Not everyone is like this, but I'm glad we are
We found other ways to express our feelings for each other.
"You mean the world to me."
"I care about you deeply."
"I love ____ about you."
etc.
Some things to consider, from my experience, that may or may not apply to your relationship:
1) Try not to push him. Emotional vulnerability is something that (in most relationships) must be taken slowly and carefully. If you keep pouring and pushing, he may actually get freaked out and start to pull away.
He will probably be able to tell that you're feeling insecure about his feelings. You will probably get more clingy and not even realize it.
2) Evaluate your relationship for what it is. Make sure the two of you are on the same page. My bf and I used to have "DTR" talks, which stands for "defining the relationship." I usually initiated them. I personally think that, as long as your boyfriend has your relationship's best interest in mind, him not wanting to say "I love you" too early is respectful. Of course, I don't know him and he may be holding out for other reasons.
3) Guard your heart. For me, this was very important. I found it best that I guarded my heart and gave it to my bf one piece at a time. You said that emotional vulnerability is something you rarely show to others.
I hope some of this is helpful. My PM is always open :hugs:
His original ideal was to not tell a girl "I love you" until he was "ready to commit his life to her" (iow, get engaged).
Some people think this is stupid; I felt it was very respectful of him, and it worked in our relationship. We were definitely "in love" early in the relationship, but we wanted to wait until our love had matured a bit and been tested a bit to say it. Not everyone is like this, but I'm glad we are
We found other ways to express our feelings for each other.
"You mean the world to me."
"I care about you deeply."
"I love ____ about you."
etc.
Some things to consider, from my experience, that may or may not apply to your relationship:
1) Try not to push him. Emotional vulnerability is something that (in most relationships) must be taken slowly and carefully. If you keep pouring and pushing, he may actually get freaked out and start to pull away.
He will probably be able to tell that you're feeling insecure about his feelings. You will probably get more clingy and not even realize it.
2) Evaluate your relationship for what it is. Make sure the two of you are on the same page. My bf and I used to have "DTR" talks, which stands for "defining the relationship." I usually initiated them. I personally think that, as long as your boyfriend has your relationship's best interest in mind, him not wanting to say "I love you" too early is respectful. Of course, I don't know him and he may be holding out for other reasons.
3) Guard your heart. For me, this was very important. I found it best that I guarded my heart and gave it to my bf one piece at a time. You said that emotional vulnerability is something you rarely show to others.
I hope some of this is helpful. My PM is always open :hugs:
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