Falling in love online

[Rhye]

I wanted to post this in the singles but I figured I put in the help to livin' this place up!


Did anyone meet someone online and fell in love with them? I don't mean after you met, but during the time you were talking to each other online.
May years ago when people would tell me that I would think they were crazy and somewhat out of reality. But, at this phase in my life I see it happening more and more and I think its a new way the world is connecting, relating, and learning about other people they might never have met or even loved.


What's your story?...if you like that share!

 

[Tink]

I'm subscribing to this thread.

Dustin and I did initially meet online. Then he came to my church and the rest is history. We don't really fit into this question, though, because we didn't fall in love until after we met. Definitely LIKED him before that, though.

Good thread, Ethie.

 

[r035198x]

What's this love you speak of and why do people fall into it? Don't they see where they are going?

 

[Verve]

Well...you already know our story.

 

[Socktastic]

I can't fall in love online. I can love, and like, but I would never say "in love". But this is because I see too much love being blown about without people ever seeing the real person. Not just what they type, or the things they share, but their real mannerisms, the changes in pitch, how they interact with family and friends, how they are with another person, with you.

I am just an old cynic though. I think it is possible, but I think too many people believe themselves to be in love before they have spent time with a person. Not just internet time, because even with web cams and voice chats someone can represent themselves in a completely different light. To be "in love" I think you need the whole picture. The online presence that drew you in, the personality they present and then the person they are when you finally meet.

Whilst it does allow for people who may never of found each other to meet and fall in love, I think it allows for the illusion of love to develop and then expectations relating to that to build up. It is why I am wary of anyone who says they love me, full on knowing my soul love, when we've only interacted textually. Because I can not love someone truly until I have seen how they interact with the world. Not just the way they are in videos, photos, a blog post, e-mail conversations, but in the moments where they are not on show, where they are not aware people are paying attention.

I need it in order to concrete the feelings, otherwise (for me) it's the love of a persona rather than love of a full individual.

 

[Inkachu]

I don't think it's possible or realistic to "fall in love" over a computer with a person you've never met. I think it's possible to THINK you're in love, and have some very strong feelings during online interactions, but you can't know a person online (or via phone/Skype). You just can't. You can know a lot about them, you can get a feel for who they are, but you won't truly know them until you're face to face and interacting with them in person on a day-to-day basis. And you can't love what you don't know. If you "love" someone you've never met, IMHO, you're in love with an idea or a fantasy.

Don and I were stupidly and completely smitten with each other before we met. It would've been very easy and natural to start throwing the word "love" around, but we mutually agreed that we wouldn't until we'd met in person. Being next to an actual person is a whole different experience than typing on a computer and hitting "send".

 

[Elliewaves]

I believe you can be in love with the idea of love with another you have never met and only interact with on-line. But, I really don't think real love is possible until you interact with someone in the flesh. Outsider looking in- I guess my experience comes from just seeing people from other forums declare they are in love before meeting someone, meeting and maybe even marrying, and then witnessing or hearing of terrible break-ups...My thoughts are disjointed but I think it's easy to hide things online and it's better to proceed with emotional caution until both people can see flaws up close, in a real environment.

 

[Amber.ly]

I believe you can fall in love through an online only relationship.

But I would say that that love should only ever be step one of a very long journey. That at best, its a rather shallow (maybe limited is a better word?) love.

 

[Wren]

I think you can fall in love with someone who you only have an online relationship, but for the love to grow, I think that you do have to meet in person and, preferably, sooner than later.

Puffca and I don't fit the criteria. We met in person in 2010 and didn't start dating until 2011.

 

[SplendidTree]

I think you can love someone but falling in love just online, I am really not sure. Maybe it is different for different people.

 

[Humble Pie]

...

 

[Hadassah_]

Well...you already know our story.

Actually, I don't.

I believe it's possible to fall in love with someone but I think in order for the relationship to grow the people need to meet and reacquaint if you will.

The online love is definitely a seeder for something much more tangible and wholesome.

I did meet someone online and loved him very much but I don't think I was "in love". If memory serves we were waiting to see what "in person" reality had in store for us.

 

[Jeneshisu]

Too many times. More than I know how to count. All of my relationships that I've had in the last 7 years were/started online.

 

[omanid]

It's possible, Ethnog....all things in Christ.

 

[Rhye]

It's possible, Ethnog....all things in Christ.

Yes.

Thank you everyone for your responses. I enjoyed reading them.

 

[JohnDB]

Well. Supplanter & I are happily married for seven months and counting. It gets better every day.

She is the most awsomest wife ever.

We met here. She tried to rent me & instead I rented her.

At first we thought the other was going to be some form of dweeb. Boy howdy were we wrong.

 

[omanid]

Well. Supplanter & I are happily married for seven months and counting. It gets better every day.

She is the most awsomest wife ever.

We met here. She tried to rent me & instead I rented her.

At first we thought the other was going to be some form of dweeb. Boy howdy were we wrong.

Congrats; God bless.

Yes.

Thank you everyone for your responses. I enjoyed reading them.

 

[Jeneshisu]

Yeah.. I meet my dudes on MMOs.

 

[thomhughes]

It appears to me a modern day revival of the old tradition of writing letters. As they did back in 'the day'. They would write to each other, meet once in a while for a stroll along the promenade (ah, courting, whate'er happened to it?) and eventually marry and all the rest of it. Although, the one difference would be a chap in jolly ol' Victorian England wouldn't send a ten letters a day to a lovely lady in California. Which brings us to the problem inherent in this pursuit of love, that the internet has made the world a smaller place to communicate in, but a woman in california is still a few thousand miles away.

So, to conclude, I can see why people do it, it isn't anything new really. I couldn't though, as I like the intimacy that comes with being in love, and missing out on that is not worth contemplating!

 

[Woven]

The online love is definitely a seeder for something much more tangible and wholesome.

This is what I think...not that I speak from any experience in online love