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Extreme Demonic Attacks

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paul becke

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A saint once said something to the effect that sexual temptations in a man don't disappear until half an hour after death. We should try to be chaste in mind and body, for sure, but don't make a special issue of it, or, as an American woman on a forum once expressed it, "You will have issue". Expect sexual thoughts to remain with you in some degree or other all your days.

It's true, I believe, that some people have a special charism of purity, for others it has become second nature from life-long Christian piety. But for most of us, it can just become less onerous as we get older.
I used to wake up in the middle of the night, restraining myself from a wet dream - and then having to touch myself just to get back to sleep. It was still a matter of confession though, which is a great gift for Catholics - essentially as much a blessing as an acknowledgment of sin, when the sins are venial, and we lacked the grace to avoid them. The thing is, virtue is a privilege as well as a duty, and to grow in it, is our life's work, or rather, its aim.

The occult business doesn't sound good, and I'm puzzled how you could have succumbed to it through pornography, bad as it is, but perhaps, as Remny said, it may be connected to paranoid schizophrenia.

When I had conjugal problems after an operation, I looked at a lot of naked women in suggestive poses on the Internet. Initially, it would carnalise my body a little, but it was ultimately counterproductive because of feelings of guilt. Still, I found it very addictive. But because it's such an evil industry, they will always try and draw you into live videoed fornicating, and other, more obviously ugly stuff. A sense of moral beauty and moral ugliness should prevent a Christian from being drawn into the latter. Softer porn is seductive because when you look at the women concerned, such are our hormones that we actually feel they're expressing gratitude to us for our interest! We're doing them an immense favour!

This sense of moral ugliness should also give us a horror of the occult, of course, although I know good people who have been drawn into paganism, as part of a rebellion against an unloving family background.
So, I think pornography and the occult can only have exacerbated what possibly is paranoid schizophrenia, if it didn't play some role in causing it or activating a latent propensity for it. It may also explain, presumably, why you think the occult is a natural progression/regression from pornography, though I don't doubt that you are correct if your interest in it was relatively unrestrained.

I'd follow Remny's advice. You sound a good person.
 
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The occult business doesn't sound good, and I'm puzzled how you could have succumbed to it through pornography, bad as it is, but perhaps, as Remny said, it may be connected to paranoid schizophrenia.

It has NOTHING to do with paranoid schizophrenia, as I explained in my previous post. I am not paranoid. I do not have paranoid disorder. I do not have mental illness. I'm not trying to be rude and I think you mean well, but I explained this in my earlier post and the message doesn't seem to be getting through. We need to get beyond this narrow secular perspective, which says that "hearing voices" must always mean paranoid schizophrenia or mental illness. Not so. It's also possible to hear voices from a spiritual source (which is where demonic voices come in). This is clearly my source. Please stop attaching the negative stigma of "paranoid schizophrenia" to me.

One good example of people "hearing voices" is the family of Dean and Jennifer Moe (a family of 9 children). For about a year, the whole family was being tormented by demonic voices and seeing demonic spirits in their parsonage. It made the children scared enough, that they all slept with their parents. Did the children have a paranoid disorder? Was the family schizophrenic because they were hearing voices and feeling some anxiety about it? No, they were being haunted by demons in their home, just as some individuals like myself have been "haunted" in their personal lives. Here's the video that tells their story, which I share to make a point:

The Haunted Parsonag: Delivered from the Demonic - CBN.com - YouTube

I will also add that I'm not the only person who has claimed to hear spirits through other sounds. The very popular tv series Ghost Adventures, allegedly uses white noise (which is similar to the sound of a fan) to pick up the voices of the spirits. I didn't know about this, until after I heard demonic voices from my own fan. Would the guys from Ghost Adventures also be paranoid schizophrenic, for claiming to hear spirit voices from white noise? I'm only asking this to make a point. Perhaps it would have been better if I didn't get into the details of hearing the voices in the first place, and only said I was having demonic attacks.



When I said the occult was a natural progression from pornography, I was speaking for my own self, not for everyone. That has been my real life experience, and the mixing of the two had nothing to do with paranoid schizophrenia. I hadn't even heard any "voices" before I started doing that. It's not a puzzle to me at all how one could lead to the other, for two very good reasons. 1. Pornography and the occult both share something in common. They are both evil and fueled by evil spirits, and lead to further evil. 2. Modern culture often glorifies the devil or demonic in sexual terms. A tv advertisment that shows a serpent wrapped around a naked women, comes to mind. Different tv shows or music videos, also show the dark side in a sexually tempting context. The use of the words like "wicked" (associated with the devil) to refer favorably to fornication, porn sites that use symbols of the devil to promote themselves, etc. In such examples the devil and demonic realm is a symbol of the sensual or sources of temptation to give into (though typically seen as a myth). So in light of that, fantasy/porn could potentially lead someone into the occult, as it did in my case. They are not total opposites. They can easily work together.

A huge important part of my sexual history (that can't be overlooked) was being molested three times at age 13/ around 13. It was an older man who performed a sexual act on me. One of those times was at a Christian Campout in a tent, while the other boys were sleeping. The man who molested me, was himself molested as a boy, and in return at least one of the boys he molested became a child molester and got involved in child pornography. As for me, the whole child molester thing never got passed on to me. I never had a desire to go in that direction (thankfully). But I think to some degree, it influenced the other kind of sexual extremes I would later get into (including the occultic sexual stuff). The molestation may have been some of the ugly fuel that helped me progress from the "normal" worship of porn and the female body to religiously worshiping a sex goddess, the demons of sexual desire, the temptress of Eden, etc. A puzzling progression? I don't think so. It's just probably not a progression that most people make, but there is a logic to it (as I explained in the earlier paragraph).

As former porn actress Shelly Lubben said about her first experience of doing porn "Right when I walked in, it's like this satanic dark anointing just fell on me. It was creepy. It was dark. It was eerie. It was nothing like prostitution. It was like I knew I was in the devil's territory." In other words, pornography has more demon juice in it than most people realize. Yes, it's a work of the flesh, but so is witchcraft (according to the bible).
I'd follow Remny's advice. You sound a good person.

Thanks. I think Remny is a good guy too, but we have a very different way of looking at things.
 
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brinny

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As Jesus HIMSELF said, NO ONE is "good". We are prone to sin. We are also admonished to reject it and keep our minds "staid" on Jesus Christ. Sin should not be comfortable with us and thus remain, but made to feel as un-welcome as possible. It is written to resist the devil and he will FLEE. We are to be vigilant, and KEEP the enemy on the "run". It is written that he is like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Good grief, we are not meant to be easy targets and place a "welcome mat" for him and his minions. The Bible tells us a war is raging RIGHT NOW...a spiritual war of an un-seen nature...not of flesh and blood, but of principalities in high places.

That's why we are admonished to put on the whole armor of God. It is not just a "suggestion". We are COMMANDED to.

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; 15And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 17And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:" ~Ephesians 6:10-17

Are You Training In Ephesians 6:12? It's Spiritual Warfare That We Fight! - YouTube
 
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Update:

There has been some great improvement in my situation.

By last Saturday, the volume of the demonic voices became very noticebly fainter. Sunday even fainter. Today even fainter. In fact today it was about 90 to 95% normal sound, with only a very faint trace of the demonic sound coming through at times. The loudest was perhaps around 7:50pm and 9:10pm. Hopefully this isn't another eye of the storm (which happened three weeks ago before it became extreme), but it seems to be gradually coming to nothing. The last couple of showers have been pretty tame, though not 100% normal yet.

On the other hand, last night around 2:15 am I was sexually touched by a demonic hand (yes it actually happened) and today has been a day of temptation.

Anyway, your prayers have helped. Thanks.

Ps. In the very early days of my dad's conversion, he had an experience of a demonic hand at his neck. He simply just whispered "Jesus" and it went away. He didn't tell anyone at the time, because he didn't want anyone to think he was crazy.
 
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brinny

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Reminds me of these verses:

"When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. 44Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. 45Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first." ~Matthew 12:43-45
 
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"

Praying for you and asking God to intervene as only He can do. Father may it be so, in Jesus name, amen.

Thanks.

The last two days has been a little less faint than Monday, but still pretty tame overall. To use an analogy, The previous two weeks was like hearing a bad radio station with a very clear signal, played at an intense volume and vibrating my body. This week (for the most part) I have been hearing a lot more static, the bad radio frequency being much fainter, often totally drowned out by the static and often barely desipherable, but coming in clearer at times.

Last night before 8 pm, while in a semi sleep state, I again began to hear the demonic voices very clearly with good volume. But this stopped when I commanded it to stop in Jesus name, and it's been the exception to the rule for this week. Two nights ago I slipped up a bit (not porn or occult), so I think this may be why it's been a bit less faint than Monday. It's putting up a fight.

Here is the video of Shelly Lubben that I quoted earlier (without giving a link):

A Porn Star's Deliverance! - YouTube
 
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vinigar

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I suffer with much of the same. MD's label it schitzophrenia. It is definately demonic activity. I hear voices, see them and are physically afflicted. They use electronics and other sounds somehow. They also sound perfectly human. My voices explain it is a form of hypnosis that the devil has used. These voices play on our guilty minds, they also lie and know the future. I am so horriffically being attacked that I am unable to explain it all. Out of desperation I tried med's, it doesnt work. Lately, these spirits have manipulated the computer, they are beginning to pound on the walls and move things. How to break this hypnosis, I am unsure. Prayer has not been effective, although I still keep my faith. Please pray about schitzophrenia, it is beyond demonic, even children suffer from it. Im unsure if it is about sin, as the devil is an afflictor to begin with. They say they only get eviler, they have demonstrated this. Thank you....
 
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paul1149

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Vinigar,

My prayer is that you understand the authority you have in Christ to put the devil under your feet. He no longer has any right of entrance to you, because the Precious Blood is over you as a protection, and there is nothing more powerful in the universe. Keep applying the Blood to yourself, and pray the prayer of faith, which is your shield against the enemy's fiery darts (Ephesians 6.10-18).

I have a brief post here which touches on our authority in Christ. May the Lord set you free, in spirit, soul and body.
 
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vinigar

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I feel this isnt going away, something is attached to my spine and things keep molesting and raping me. I have prayed for years now, the voices say they are just transposing my prayers. I have been living a clean life, for the exception of smoking on occasion, as I cannot take this torture, it has become unbearable. These voices say they are the harlot of babylon. I realize they often lie, but I wish someone would give this some thought as I am unable to think clearly as a result of these torturers. I have always loved Jesus and God. I have not always lived perfectly, for this I am sorry. I believe I have been afflicted since childhood by evil spirits. In retrospect, I trust that the devil has gone out of his way to destroy my family for some reason. These voices say that I am being protected by Jesus, otherwise I would be dead, this I believe as I have medical issues that have not bothered my since this affliction began a few years ago. Does the devil work this way? Or is it Jesus, unable to stop whatever this is? I am greatly confused. These voices know things not only about myself , but everyone else. They even use voices that I am familiar with. They refer to themselves as Phsycological operational specialists, and call me their phsycops harlot. I am unsure if I should even be around people, as these voices claim they are legion. They say there are several issues, but don't explain themselves. They mock Jesus and God. This is unbearable. Please pray about what this may be. I am clearly severly afflicted, yet proteted. Is the devil keeping me alive to mock God? Thank you for your concern and support.
 
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brinny

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Jesus, the Christ, the only begotten Son of the living God, the God of the living, has OVERCOME the enemy and made him our footstool.

"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you." ~James 4:7-8

Lifting you to God Himself Who has already throttled that ol' serpent, that sniveling coward, and his minions, that run from Light, but hover in dark places.

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." ~II Timothy 1:7
 
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paul1149

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Does the devil work this way? Or is it Jesus, unable to stop whatever this is?

Hi vin,

Yes, that's how the devil works. He's very subtle. For instance, he'll tell you Jesus is protecting you already, and cite stuff you're not afflicted with to prove it, but he does it to make you think that's the extent of the protection available to you , which it is not. You have full protection available, and the devil's top job is to make you think you don’t, so you won't have any power to defend yourself.

There's a story about an atheist who died on an operating table, and was led away by demons:

...He lay there motionless for a few moments, completely spent. Then he was surprised by a small voice inside his head that said, ‘Pray to God.’

He thought, ‘I don’t pray. I don’t even believe in God.’

Then he heard the voice a second time, ‘Pray to God.’

‘But I wouldn’t know how to pray even if I wanted to pray,’ he thought. Whose voice was this, he wondered? It sounded like his voice, but the words were completely foreign to his own thinking.

Then he heard the voice a third time repeat the same message. His mind drifted back to his days in Sunday school as a child. “I tried to remember things I memorized when I was very young,” he says. He struggled to think of something he could pray.

Then he managed to blurt out, “The Lord is my shepherd and I shall not want…”

When the people around him heard his attempt to pray, they became enraged. “There is no God and nobody can hear you,” they cried, along with other obscenities. “If you keep praying we will really hurt you.”

But Howard noticed something curious. The more he prayed and began to mention God, the more they backed away from him.

Emboldened, he began to shout out bits and pieces of the Lord’s Prayer, “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” and “God Bless America.” Finally, he was screaming any fragments of God’s truth he could muster from the moldy recesses of his memory bank.

It seemed to work! Even in the darkness, he could tell they had fled, but not too far away....
You see the difference between what they said and their actual behavior. They were trying to bluff and fool. They cannot withstand the name of Jesus. They abhor the Precious Blood, because it is the power that destroyed them. Jesus signed His covenant with you with that Blood. Therefore He will NEVER abandon or fail you. Stand your ground, as Eph 6 says to do.

Remember, in Matthew 28 Jesus declared that all authority was His. He then immediately gave us His delegated authority:
And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
And in the parallel passage in Mark 16, Jesus specifically adds:
And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up serpents with their hands; and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.”

You have perfect delegated situational authority against the devil. He cannot withstand you. His worst nightmare is that you will know and believe this, because he knows he cannot stand against a Blood-bought Christian who knows his authority in Christ. As brinny wrote, if you resist the devil, he MUST - I repeat, MUST - flee.
 
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paul becke

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Doubtless it was my own fault, but you misunderstood my 'secular' take. I didn't say your experiences were caused by a paranoid schizophrenia, but postulated the possibility - admittedly at some length - that it might have played a role, as Remny had suggested. I'm a little too prone to scan what I'm reading.

In fact, I have had some very unusual demonic experiences, myself, for example, twice, like your uncle, I believe you said, having ghostly hands at my neck, trying to throttle me - once down South and once here in Edinburgh.

It was strange to read your account of demons using existing sounds, as a few months ago, late at night in bed, sudden gusts of wind outside were very strong, and I felt sure it was another sound - for the life of me I can't remember what, but maybe the voice of someone shouting at the front door - but it sounded EXACTLY like it, and I wondered if that was the cause.

But others, too, at least as strange and unambiguous as the throttling hands. Not this Lent, but last last year, during the final week, I had two experiences of a poltergeist, both cases, small objects being thrown hard, against the wall a few feet away, in one case, and the other a small plastic-rimmed mirror flung from a hook onto the floor, over the bathroom sink I was standing at.

The weirdest by far was an invisible creature suddenly trying to copulate with my backside, in the middle of the night, when I was in the army Malaysia. I suddenly woke up to find myself still stretched out flat, but six inches or more above the bed, seemingly rigid, as in a conjuror's trick you sometimes see in photos or films. I clenched my buttocks with all alacrity! Because it was so hot, we only had a single sheet over us, but I think the weight of partly tucked in blankets would make it impossible here. At least I hope so. I've also had my backside touched a few times while standing at the sink. I think I can be forgiven for hoping it was a female ghost.

Another time, I woke up to see what looked like a dull, metallic, yellow kind of glow moving away from my body, apparently having tried unsuccessfully to enter my heart (judging from another diabolical experience) and over my wife's body, completely ignoring her. I was struck by the fact that its seemed to move in what seemed like an unnaturally straight line.

Then I remembered that I'd seen a woman on a TV programme on the subject of ghosts, hauntings, etc, recounting how she had seen this kind of glow moving up a stair-case, and remarking how it had gone in a straight line. Also in Ezekiel, he reported this vision in which he saw angels (good ones) moving in straight lines.

It occurred to me that we, human beings, automatically factor in the forward and sideways movements of our bodies as we walk in what we normally consider a straight line; also we slow down slightly and speed up again slightly with each pace. But they move at a constant speed as well, which also makes sense. Of course, pure spirits, unless assuming human or animal form, would not be subject to any, even tiny, movements caused by a corporeal gait like ours.

On the occasion of a similar experience, I dreamt a great devil in the form of a dragon swooped down and was trying to take my soul. Idiot that I am, and it seems Heaven realises it, instead of calling out, "Jesus!", I was casting about in my mind whether to pray to St Jospeh Terror of Demons or St Michael the Archangel! Suddenly, I realised I had no time left for theological niceties and was reduced to bawling out, "HELP!" And that help, I am pleased to relate, was instantaneous.

Another strange thing was, I must have shouted loudly in the spirit, as my wife, who is a light sleeper, didn't hear me, nor I would imagine would anyone else have; particularly as it ties in with one of the many experiences of ghosts by lads in my troop, when I was stationed in Germany.

Some years ago, now, my wife and I would suddenly be woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of our TV blaring out quite loudly. That set required only one handset to switch it on, and we discovered that the way to avoid it, was to make sure the handset was pointed right away from the screen.

At other times during the day, the screen would kind of freeze, while the speaker emitted a very harsh kind of noise. I found that saying brief prayers for the person's soul was effective in stopping it. And perhaps longer prayers for him or her paid off in the long term as well, as they seem to have stopped all together.

But what an infinite variety there seems to be of human nature, personalities. A previous house my mother lived in, in West Australia, was haunted by a ghost in monk's habit. In fact her dog wouldn't go in one part of it.

My mother just felt her bottom being pinched while she was ironing (runs in the family, it seems), but my nephew, in his early teens then, I should think, used to see him and wasn't in the least scared by the apparition. I don't know whether it was the first time they had made each other's acquaintance, but when the ghost asked him, "What are you doing here?" he replied, "I might ask you that!"


PS: In that earlier post, '....you will have issue' should have read, '....you will have issues!'
 
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DennisTate

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Several years ago I read about buying a bottle of olive oil, praying over it in the name of Jesus and anointing the doors and windows of your home!

A few months ago I heard that in the city of Cali Colombia, while it was still the murder capitol of the world...a group of pastor and charismatic priests got together, took gallons of olive oil...prayed over it...and dumped it out of a helicopter over their city. What occurred afterward was featured in the film series Transformations I or II!
 
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Paul1149,

The Howard Storm story is powerful. I first heard it on Unsolved Mysteries back in 1996 (I think). Of all the episodes I've seen of that show, that one probably moved me the most. (I still have it recorded on VHS). To bad the host of that show died, and it's not on anymore. It was one of my favorite tv shows.

Paul Becke,

So we have both had experiences with the demonic, and I bet we are both sane.

I seem to be having a hard time convincing you (despite some of our shared experience), but I will say it again. Paranoid Schizophrenia has nothing to do with what I have described. It doesn't play a role whatsoever in my demonic attacks, no matter how many people suggest it. I wish you could see that.

There is a difference between hearing demonic voices (as in my case or your nephew) and Paranoid Schizophrenia. If your nephew has both seen and heard the voice of a spirit, yet isn't Paranoid Schizophrenic, why do you keep insisting that Paranoid Schizophrenia may have played a role in my case? Or why do you not apply Paranoid Schizophrenia as a possible role in your own experiences of the demonic? How do you know that Paranoid Schizophrenia didn't play a role in that dull, metallic, yellow kind of glow you saw? After all, people with this mental illness, can see strange things. I don't think it has anything to do with that myself. Again, I'm just trying to drive a point home.

I'm actually totally sane. I don't suffer from mental illness. I don't suffer from paranoia and never have had a paranoid disorder. So that right there, puts me out of the category of Paranoid Schizophrenic. As I said to Remney last night in a PM, "I have very good logical reasons to believe that what I'm facing is demonic, as opposed to a paranoid mental delusion of fake demons. I don't even suffer from a paranoid disorder. I'm not paranoid about other people being after me, people stealing my laundry soap, etc. It's not like that at all".

All I'm claiming is that I've been attacked by demons, including (but not limited to) demonic voices. Can you accept that this is real, as opposed to a mental delusion of fake demons? If so, than you certainly shouldn't see this as being any more Schizophrenic than your experience of seeing a demonic glow or a spirit throwing objects (two experiences I've never had).

As for having a backside touched by the sink, this happened to me three weeks ago. On Friday March 30th, I felt a demonic finger and claw touching my back while near the sink (shortly before my shower). I'm not sure if I mentioned this earlier. It's not the first time I felt that kind of thing, but the first time that I can remember it happening outside of a sleeping or bedtime context. This of course was right in the middle of my extreme demonic attack phase, which apparently is over (hopefully for good ).

Today has been my tamest day of the month so far. Before getting prayer again at church today, I seemed to hear an extremely faint demonic voicing for some brief moments. I also still seem to be picking up an extremely faint sign of something demonic when turning on a fan or standing by the purifier. But I could easily miss it altogether if I wasn't looking for it. That's where things are at currently.

I've searched the internet for people sharing the same experience, of hearing demonic voices from other sounds. What I have found is paranormal and ghost hunting sites. Apparently it is very common knowledge to paranormal investigators or ghost hunters, that "spirit voices" can be picked up through other sounds. One very common method they use to pick up "spirit voices" (or what they believe to be ghost voices), is the use of white noise. The Ghost Adventures show I mentioned earlier, is just one of many that use this methodology.

According to one paranormal site I came across, some ghost hunters prefer to use white noise, running water, or fan noise to multiply the chances of recording EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon, the electronic recording of spirit voices). Another paranormal researcher admits to using a fan when trying to record spirit voices in the bedroom. As I mentioned in my first post, it was through my own bedroom fan, that I first began to hear demonic voices through other sounds.

Yet another paranormal site I found, suggests that white noise can be made from many sources: from a radio set to an empty channel, an electric fan, the babbling of a stream or a running faucet, etc. When I took a bike ride yesterday to one of my favorite trails, I heard virtually no demonic voices. But I did manage to pick up the voices (though faintly) from one part of the river by the trail, the part of the river with a shallow running stream.

I don't agree with paranormal researchers on many things and interpret the supernatural from a different worldview. But some of their findings do confirm my own experience.


Ps. Please remember to keep Vinigar in prayer.
 
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paul1149

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Amen. Vinigar, you can start a new thread for your needs and get a lot more people praying for you. Lord, make a way for our sister. Protect her and set her free, in Jesus' mighty name.
 
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paul becke

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What prayers do you resort to under these afflictions, vinigar? I mean, what kind? Do you ever use very short, so-called 'ejaculatory' prayers, such as the 'Jesus prayer', which can be reduced to simple repetition of Jesus' name? Or do you rely only on longer prayers, such as the Our Father?
 
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paul becke

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Willing Spirit, I thought I had answered your post, yesterday, but either I messed up posting it, or it was removed. Having assured you that I believe what you believe about your experiences, I'm at a loss to know what else I can say to convince you. Truth to tell, I'm beginning to wonder again. Not that I doubt that involvement in the occult could leave a person more vulnerable in some measure to demonic encounters.

Still, the fact is, all sicknesses, both mental and physical, are ultimately down to the Fall, just as all the suffering we endure in this life are. But, of course, it is of paramount importance to bear in mind that not all our sufferings, whether mental or spiritual, are the result of our personal sins in this life. Indeed generally quite the contrary: "Whom the Lord loveth, he chastiseth" (never mind that the old hill-billy grandpa in Faulkner's As I Lay Dying, added, "But he sure do have a funny way of showing it...").

Vinagar, there are many paintings of the The Temptation of St Anthony.

It seems likely to me, as a layman, anyway, that there may be some degree of overlapping of your schizophrenia, and spiritual attacks, neither of which are likely to be the result of personal sins on your part, but, rather of the generic sin of the Fall for which we all in a strange way bear some responsiblity: responsiblity, however, nullified by Jesus' sacrifice on Calvary, in which we are all privileged to share in some measure via our trials, through the Holy Spirit we received at baptism.
 
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