Experincing some loss...

[Phoenix92885]

I've spoke about it a bit on here how I have recently lost my father. He was only 39 years old and passed away on August 14th. That was over 8 weeks ago and we still don't know the exact cause of death. I have and always will be a Daddy's girl. When I received the phone call I literally hit the floor. I have experienced quite a few deaths in my life. This has hit me the hardest. I was doing well in the beginning when I had arrangements to make and things to keep me busy but depression is setting is as I wait for the coroners office to tell me the cause of death. I don't know the right way to handle someone dying. In the past my coping methods have been... unproductive. Already some of those methods have resurfaced. On top of his death I'm working full time and going to school full time while dealing with a couple of other family dramas such as his girlfriend and I having differences, and some different unrelated matters. My stress level has hit its limit and all I want to do is give up and curl up in a ball.

I know no one really knows the right answer but how do I begin finding comfort and peace? I think if I knew the cause of death I could attempt to move on. I feel like things have been getting worse instead of better.

Phoenix

 

[Johnnz]

A huge gap has opened up in your life. His loss is very real and goes very deep, understandably so and for good reasons - he loved you. The death of a loved one is cruel. After the initial reactions another lot of feelings and issues arise over time. They can be extremely painful.

We don't just 'get over' death of a loved one. We can, over time, come to some reconciliation with the loss as life goes on and other events dominate more. Understanding people can be a great resource. Do you have anyone in that category?

Hope is a strength, that one day we will meet again. Paul said we grieve but not as those without hope. What realism Paul expressed, both elements present in a death situation.

Bless you
John

 

[Phoenix92885]

A huge gap has opened up in your life. His loss is very real and goes very deep, understandably so and for good reasons - he loved you. The death of a loved one is cruel. After the initial reactions another lot of feelings and issues arise over time. They can be extremely painful.

We don't just 'get over' death of a loved one. We can, over time, come to some reconciliation with the loss as life goes on and other events dominate more. Understanding people can be a great resource. Do you have anyone in that category?

Hope is a strength, that one day we will meet again. Paul said we grieve but not as those without hope. What realism Paul expressed, both elements present in a death situation.

Bless you
John

Thank you for your kind words. I know I'm never going to get over my dad dying. I have been able to take comfort in the fact that I know I will see him one day in heaven but that day seems pretty far off. I have understanding people around me. My own mom lost her father a couple years ago and a cousin I am close to lost her mom when she was only 13. I'm surrounded by loving friends and family but I feel awful that their presences doesn't seem to be enough for me. Its hard for me to voice the feelings of loss that are coursing through me. Thank you again though for your words and thoughts. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me.

Phoenix

 

[Johnnz]

Death is an unwanted interruption that became a reality after the Fall. That's why it hurts so much. People we love deeply become part of us. Dads are there all our lives, then suddenly they aren't any longer. That is a huge slice of good living that has been taken away. That and much more will be restored one day, but meantime we experience grief from such a loss.

It's great you have good support. That can make life more bearable, although even that is not a substitute.

Bless you
John
NZ