Ex Christians - why did you leave?

Robban said:

There are days and there are days,

not all days are alike.

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Genesis 40:7.

What kind of question is that?

Why do you look so sad "Today"?

Imprisoned, should they be dancing with joy?

So there you go,
not all days are the same, certainly not for butler and baker.

Just a thought that came, or rather just remembered the story.

Nothing to do with the topic at hand of course,
so it is off course.

O'boy it's late.

Carl Emerson said:

[Solipsism is the philosophical idea that only one's mind is sure to exist. As an epistemological position, solipsism holds that knowledge of anything outside one's own mind is unsure; the external world and other minds cannot be known and might not exist outside the mind]

I certainly do not hold that position.

I have stressed that real knowing is a function of the spirit of man not the mind of man.

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Yet you haven't qualified what the spirit is in any way that isn't subject to more speculation as to whether it isn't self deception or magical thinking. When you don't open the concept up to falsification, it might as well be useless when it's supposed to be something that has practical application and isn't just an abstraction

I can only tell you what the Bible says about our make-up as creatures made in His image - body soul and spirit, unlike animals that have body and soul.

The spirit is given as a means to directly communicate with God.

Carl Emerson said:

I can only tell you what the Bible says about our make-up as creatures made in His image - body soul and spirit, unlike animals that have body and soul.

The spirit is given as a means to directly communicate with God.

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Could swear it's actually soul that makes us unique, spirit tending to be more God's animating breath, which would apply not only to humans, but animals as well. Our soul is what would go to heaven, but honestly, I'm getting nowhere when we have esoteric shifting meanings of what words mean to avoid the fundamental issue of unfalsifiable ideas that are supposed to be rooted in reality, yet are effectively just to be believed because "it makes sense"

RoseCrystal said:

Hi, I'm struggling with my beliefs lately and I was hoping to find some stories of those who left Christianity and why they left. I didn't really know what section to post this is so I hope this is not breaking any rules.

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I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. God can handle your questions and doubts. He wants you to choose Him willingly. Take your time and live the questions without remorse. The answers will come.

What made you decide to leave?

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Hypocrisy.

Do you have a new religion or set of spiritual beliefs? If you feel like sharing what are they?

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I studied and practiced many. Judaism was life altering.

How did you deal with fear and guilt of leaving?

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My conviction was strong. I can't live a lie.

What were the main sticking points for you about Christianity that you could no longer follow/believe in?

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My sticking point was religion. Too much dogma and too little love.

Have you found peace in your new spiritual identity?

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Judaism provided a welcome respite and loving environment. I had the opportunity to rediscover God without pressure. No one told me what to think or feel. Nor were they offended if my responses differed from their own. They didn't take it personal. That gave me the freedom I needed to hear the Holy Spirit and trust His guidance. He led me home.

How did your family and friends react to your leaving? What do you say to them about it and are they accepting of you? Have people turned their backs on you for leaving?

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I visited the synagogue in the past. Making a commitment surprised my grandmother. But it was preferable to nothing.

Do you ever struggle with your decision and want to go back?

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I had a difficult transition from the synagogue to church. Its taken a while for me to reach the place of peace I've found. I'm never going to practice my faith the way others do and that's okay. I'll always have a Jewish bend to my walk. Its in my heart and that will never change. That's the way He wants it.

I'm not Messianic and I've never attended a Messianic place of worship. I still feel at home in a synagogue. My spirit smiles when I'm there. It feels like home. They were instrumental in my return and I can never repay it. Love was the difference.

The lesson shaped my approach to ministry and fellowship. I have never forgotten how it felt to be lost. I lead with love. I'm a conduit. Not the solution. That's God's place. He's used me frequently to reach the lost and demonstrate His love for others.

I have every confidence you'll find the answers. Not knowing is okay. There's no shame in saying I'm unsure. What I gained in my return far exceeds what I had when I departed.

God Bless.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

cloudyday2 said:

I'm a little puzzled by your post, but if I've offended you somehow then I'm sorry.

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No worries, cloudy. No offence caught on my end or intended on yours I assumed.

RoseCrystal said:

And just because I don't come out and say "I'm thinking of leaving Christianity" to these people certainly does not mean that I am not engaging in apologetic conversations with them.

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That’s a good thing, although that would also include my point about those people not being provided full disclosure

RoseCrystal said:

Hi, I'm struggling with my beliefs lately and I was hoping to find some stories of those who left Christianity and why they left. I didn't really know what section to post this is so I hope this is not breaking any rules.

What made you decide to leave?
Do you have a new religion or set of spiritual beliefs? If you feel like sharing what are they?
How did you deal with fear and guilt of leaving?
What were the main sticking points for you about Christianity that you could no longer follow/believe in?
Have you found peace in your new spiritual identity?
How did your family and friends react to your leaving? What do you say to them about it and are they accepting of you? Have people turned their backs on you for leaving?
Do you ever struggle with your decision and want to go back?

Appreciate your answers

Thank you

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What made you decide to leave?
I find the claims of Christianity to be false, that is the reason I left. Even from a young age I was pretty incredulous.
Do you have a new religion or set of spiritual beliefs? If you feel like sharing what are they?
I am an eclectic pagan now, though pretty secular as a person.
How did you deal with fear and guilt of leaving?
They just passed with time and passed faster once I realized the pressure was social. I had a social network before and after church so I didn't lose any serious friends. This is why I am generally suspicious of churches that force people to be mega-involved and only have a social life in church as well.
What were the main sticking points for you about Christianity that you could no longer follow/believe in?
The philosophical problems to me are the problem of evil, the incoherence of the trinity, the logic and nature of hell.
The empirical problems are the existence of the soul and accounts contradicting the understood scientific consensus of the natural world. Christians can slide into a more metaphorical view nowadays but I was raised to take the Biblical accounts literally.
Have you found peace in your new spiritual identity?
Mostly yeah, my hunger for knowledge and desire for growth keep me from getting too comfortable though. There's no guarantee I'll stay where I am forever.
How did your family and friends react to your leaving? What do you say to them about it and are they accepting of you? Have people turned their backs on you for leaving?
They were mostly uncomfortable but accepting. Church people wholesale stopped talking to me. None of my real friends left me though.
Do you ever struggle with your decision and want to go back?
The only thing I've struggled with is wanting a bigger pagan community but I've never been motivated to return to Christianity even for the social pressure. The worldview is just too fundamentally different from mine.

1. What made you decide to leave?
One the one hand, standing over there in the corner stood Christ. And standing over there in the other corner was the Christian Church. And I felt that only rarely did they cross paths. Christianity, for me became way too limiting in the spiritual sense. When I could see Christ in the soul of others, but was told that I'm under an illusion of Satan, that just didn't work out for me. When I could sense the Life Force of God running through all of this Universe, but as again told that I'm under an illusion of Satan, that didn't work our for me either. When I was told that Jesus is the only way to God, yet I could clearly see that God is just as alive in others of other spiritual trajectories as he was in any Christian I've met, that had the most impact on my questioning Christian beliefs.

2.Do you have a new religion or set of spiritual beliefs? If you feel like sharing what are they?
For me, it was a process. Upon my de-conversion I rejected any God ideals and became an Atheist. But in the process and after some time I discovered that I still had a spiritual inclination that I could not ignore. So I tried Buddhism for a bit and in that process discovered that I'm the type of person that needs the spiritual Divine experience in my life. During that time I also discovered the Wisdom Traditions of the various spiritual trajectories. Basically these are the mystics. Today I'm very ecumenical, I just don't know how to limit God, and I'm a pretty hard Panentheist, not to be confused with Pantheism. I take lessons from the mystics of the various spiritual trajectories of the world because they are the ones who have God as their absolute reality in life.

3. How did you deal with fear and guilt of leaving?
I had no fear or guilt. What I had is anger. And anger that I held onto for many years afterwards.

4. What were the main sticking points for you about Christianity that you could no longer follow/believe in?
As I wrote above, on one the one hand, standing over there in the corner stood Christ. And standing over there in the other corner was the Christian Church. And I felt that only rarely did they cross paths.

In writing this, I'm reminded of the medieval Women Mystic, Marguerite Porete. She wrote that there are two churches. The first she called the High Holy Church. That church she wrote preached Love. The other church she called the Little Holy Church. That church preaches rules, law and order. Because of her adherence to what was considered a heresy of Free Spirit, which was believed by the many in Europe back in those times, she was burned at the stake by the Little Holy Church.

I'm reminded of that story in that though people today are not burned at the stake, they are still burned in other ways when not holding to doctrine (rules, law and order). I had major issues with what I was seeing and experiencing in that regard.

5. Have you found peace in your new spiritual identity?
I'm in my 7th decade and I can honestly say that I've never been happier in my life. And that is in large part to my spiritual path. I see and experiencing things much differently now. Love, Harmony and Beauty abounds.

6. How did your family and friends react to your leaving? What do you say to them about it and are they accepting of you? Have people turned their backs on you for leaving?
Today my circle of friends are way more Loving and Compassionate and willing to Serve those in need than those I knew when I followed the Christian trajectory. The vista changes pretty dramatically when a person and their friends sees God in the soul of others and in each other.

My in-laws are a pretty fundamental bunch, and through the years they have been pretty hard on me with my wife taking a fair amount of abuse because of my spiritual path. My sister had made it very clear that I'm heading to Hell, which I no longer believe exist, so I kind of laugh it off. But all and all, I'm pretty quite about my spiritual shift. It's a pretty private thing to me. It something that's between God and me.

7. Do you ever struggle with your decision and want to go back?
NEVER!!!

RoseCrystal said:

Hi, I'm struggling with my beliefs lately and I was hoping to find some stories of those who left Christianity and why they left.

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In a way you can say that I halfway left, considering that the context of your situation is about going a different path than the people in your social circles. I left many traditional teachings of it behind in exchange for non-traditional interpretations (at least non-traditional according to my social circles) to the point where I’m probably a Heretic to believers that I know, and still a deluded believer to non-believers lol. I didn’t just pick & choose which interpretations to side with based on personal preference of what feels nicer, I had to do away with any interpretations that caused me cognitive dissonance. I’m a hodgepodge and I probably fit nowhere if someone were to start interrogating my beliefs.

RoseCrystal said:

What made you decide to leave?
Do you have a new religion or set of spiritual beliefs? If you feel like sharing what are they?

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Maybe I’m more of a philosophical theist “With several Biblical concepts and events that are agreeable with me” than an actual believer, I’m not positive nor do I let it bother me. The thing about me is emotional apathy, for the most part it all just feels like a cool puzzle to be solved instead of something that I pour my heart into. So according to a lot of believers I would fit that mold of “It takes more than intellectual belief to be a chid of God.” I find historical Jesus very convincing but it seems to not change my life one bit at all. So that’s another way in which I can say that I halfway left (and maybe some would argue that without my emotions behind it I completely left), the emotional content for me checked out a long time ago.

I also dis Biblical studies now because I grew so tired of all things complicated, confusing, and disputed that were NOT mere concepts. By that I mean trying to figure out the finer points of historical/cultural contexts, disputed Hebrew/Greek terms, etc, those disputes started giving me a headache! For example, a purely conceptual argument without the burden of contextual ambiguity is such a breath of fresh air, for instance if I am presented with an argument between what Aquinas said vs what Hume said then the opposing arguments are simply laid out bare for me to analyze. There’s no headaches such as “Now was that really Hume’s argument? Are you sure that the word he used in that sentence really didn’t mean THIS instead of THAT? Are you sure that the document we have of Aquinas’ argument was accurately preserved?” Those interruptions got so annoying for me. I am happy that I have reached a lot of conclusions about those types of Biblical interpretations back when I was into all of that, so I don’t regret having that phase, but I don’t miss it, I lost the patience for it.

RoseCrystal said:

Have you found peace in your new spiritual identity?

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Yes. One of my “Heretic” beliefs in the eyes of believers is that history teaches us over & over that God seems to not be too concerned with technical fine details, therefore I think that concerns in the Bible about “Belief” is heart based belief and not head based knowledge (although I’m not arguing that that part isn’t useful). I believe that God can reach you in any religion, it’s about concepts for me, does a person believe in the concept that Jesus was a person of spectacular character, and that one should hope to be more like Him?

I find it interesting that what history does show us over & over again is that the character of the life of Jesus HAS successfully locked itself into our various cultures extremely well! It’s interesting that those people who argue that Jesus was nothing more than a great person, they still understand the character of the life of Jesus (in order to argue against it), pretty clever of God IMO if the primary goal was that a maximum amount of people on Earth become familiar with the character of the historical man who was the essence of God made flesh (whether people even agree or disagree with that description of Him). There’s the famous cliche “I love your Christ but hate your Christians.”

RoseCrystal said:

How did your family and friends react to your leaving? What do you say to them about it and are they accepting of you? Have people turned their backs on you for leaving?
Do you ever struggle with your decision and want to go back?

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Same answer to all of these questions for me, I might catch some casual disagreement but I’m not in circles where it causes tension or uneasiness. I can care less if I tell anyone that a belief has changed.

RoseCrystal said:

Hi, I'm struggling with my beliefs lately and I was hoping to find some stories of those who left Christianity and why they left. I didn't really know what section to post this is so I hope this is not breaking any rules.

What made you decide to leave?
Do you have a new religion or set of spiritual beliefs? If you feel like sharing what are they?
How did you deal with fear and guilt of leaving?
What were the main sticking points for you about Christianity that you could no longer follow/believe in?
Have you found peace in your new spiritual identity?
How did your family and friends react to your leaving? What do you say to them about it and are they accepting of you? Have people turned their backs on you for leaving?
Do you ever struggle with your decision and want to go back?

Appreciate your answers

Thank you

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I left for many reasons, one major one being that I could not believe that an infallible deity would transmit his message through fallible methods.

After becoming disillusioned, I spent a few years researching various world religions & philosophies, and I finally embraced Forest Tradition Theravada Buddhism.

I dealt with the fear and guilt of leaving by using the methods clearly explained in Buddhism: deconstructing the fear and guilt through knowledge and wisdom.

My main sticking points: I could not believe that an infallible deity would transmit his message through fallible methods; I could not believe in a deity which acts (since action is a sign of suffering in the actor); I could not believe that heaven was the highest goal.

Yes, I have found great peace in my new spiritual Path.

Most of my family and friends were relatively indifferent; some more serious Christian family were shocked that I left, and debated me at length in an effort to convince me to return.

The only major struggle I have is the relative lack of in-person community; Theravadan Buddhists are much fewer in numbers than Christianity.

Does this change anyone's theology pertaining to eternal security? Just curious. This is a good thread. Sad but true nonetheless.

It's one thing to call on God in vain (as Paul put it in the letter to the Corinthian church) But for somebody to actually love God and then turn away to go to hell. I think that breaks God's heart the most.

Jok said:

There’s the famous cliche “I love your Christ but hate your Christians.”

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I remember when I backslid, and was returning to the Lord, I felt this same way about Christians, even though I was one! lol (though backslidden). I think Satan changes his strategy against believers, mainly to make them unappealing to the world, so they won't listen to them. Even so, I don't think the Lord looks critically at his own, because if he lays down only 1 rule for mankind (believe), and 1 man does everything right except that 1 thing, and another is completely obnoxious, turns people off, messes up all the time, but does that 1 thing - isn't the latter the one that did the will of the Lord?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said:

Does this change anyone's theology pertaining to eternal security?

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No, because I don't believe that getting eternal security is what it's about.

Rachel20 said:

I remember when I backslid, and was returning to the Lord, I felt this same way about Christians, even though I was one! lol (though backslidden). I think Satan changes his strategy against believers, mainly to make them unappealing to the world, so they won't listen to them. Even so, I don't think the Lord looks critically at his own, because if he lays down only 1 rule for mankind (believe), and 1 man does everything right except that 1 thing, and another is completely obnoxious, turns people off, messes up all the time, but does that 1 thing - isn't the latter the one that did the will of the Lord?

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I wonder if there really is a rule/requirement to believe? Jesus and John the Baptist said "repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is near". It seems to me that people have varying degrees of belief and disbelief. Nobody entirely believes or entirely disbelieves, and a person can't control belief. However a person might be able to choose to repent to some degree (assuming we have freewill). (Sorry, I am just rambling and these are only half-baked ideas.)

cloudyday2 said:

I wonder if there really is a rule/requirement to believe? Jesus and John the Baptist said "repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is near". It seems to me that people have varying degrees of belief and disbelief. Nobody entirely believes or entirely disbelieves, and a person can't control belief. However a person might be able to choose to repent to some degree (assuming we have freewill). (Sorry, I am just rambling and these are only half-baked ideas.)

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I think the weight of scripture leans toward faith being a requisite, with mitigations for those who never heard the truth, were truly blind, given little light, etc... I'm just not sure everyone's talking about the same thing when they say "faith" or "belief". I don't think it's a feeling, the way some seem to struggle and struggle to get a particular feeling. And I don't think it's belief in the intellectual sense, otherwise why reject signs and wisdom - those would certainly do the trick (1 Cor 1:21-23). So what do you think faith is? And why do you think God would choose it?

Rachel20 said:

I think the weight of scripture leans toward faith being a requisite, with mitigations for those who never heard the truth, were truly blind, given little light, etc... I'm just not sure everyone's talking about the same thing when they say "faith" or "belief". I don't think it's a feeling, the way some seem to struggle and struggle to get a particular feeling. And I don't think it's belief in the intellectual sense, otherwise why reject signs and wisdom - those would certainly do the trick (1 Cor 1:21-23). So what do you think faith is? And why do you think God would choose it?

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I'm the wrong person to ask, because I am not certain about a lot of things like whether I have freewill and what is the purpose of life, etc.

hluke said:

How often do you read your bible? How often do you pray? Do you know what God's purpose is for humanity? Do you know the promises God made in the OT? Have you studied any prophecies?

Religion won't help in any way.

God desires to KNOW you. Do you KNOW God?

With all due respect, you wouldn't have such questions if you are intimate with God: his friend.

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What answers do you have for these questions?

RoseCrystal said:

Hi, I'm struggling with my beliefs lately and I was hoping to find some stories of those who left Christianity and why they left. I didn't really know what section to post this is so I hope this is not breaking any rules.

What made you decide to leave?
Do you have a new religion or set of spiritual beliefs? If you feel like sharing what are they?
How did you deal with fear and guilt of leaving?
What were the main sticking points for you about Christianity that you could no longer follow/believe in?
Have you found peace in your new spiritual identity?
How did your family and friends react to your leaving? What do you say to them about it and are they accepting of you? Have people turned their backs on you for leaving?
Do you ever struggle with your decision and want to go back?

Appreciate your answers

Thank you

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I left because I could no longer believe what the Bible taught.
I no longer believed the story of Sin as an excuse for human action or the need for a sacrifice to god to appease him. Especially when that sacrifice was apparently God himself.
I no longer believed that Jesus was God incarnate.
I have been through several spiritual transitions from Buddhism to New Age.
I had no fear of leaving. I had already left the environment that stifled my questioning.
I have found peace within my 'spiritual' identity. I still question and reexamine my ideas but am happy with where I am.
My father is very religious and thinks that one day I will find my way back to the fold. The rest of my family are no longer believers.
No-one has turned their back upon me for leaving. Mostly because it was a gradual thing and I no longer had contact with those people who were staunch believers.
There was a time when I desperately wanted to go back. But try as I might I couldn't make myself believe something I found unbelievable.
Good luck on your journey.