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Discussion and Debate
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Physical & Life Sciences
Creation & Evolution
Evolution: The Science Fiction Story!
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<blockquote data-quote="tryptophan" data-source="post: 39241334" data-attributes="member: 72738"><p>You know what, I feel like including my own parable. I feel SoF doesn't go far enough here. So here it is. Enjoy everyone!</p><p></p><p>Chapter 1</p><p></p><p>Professor Goodman stepped onto the steps of the science building ready to start getting his students to think criticially about science and other things. Goodman was a very famous teacher, loved by all he met (except for the godless atheists in power) and winner of several awards, including the Nobel Peace Prize, various Pulitzers among others. He was famous for picking up garbage along more than 1,000 miles of highway, searching for the cure for cancer (if only the medical elites didn't get in his way) and singlehandedly pushing a whole group of beached whales back into the ocean. Now, he was here to make the world better for all of his students. Today was the first day of classes, but he would have to talk with Dean Eviller about the syllabus for the class.</p><p></p><p>Goodman walked up the steps and in through the doors and past the offices that made up the science department. And there it was, Room 313, where Dr. Eviller would discuss the rest of the semester. Goodman knocked.</p><p></p><p>"Come on in," a voice from the other side of the door said.</p><p></p><p>"Thank you. I'm here to discuss this semester."</p><p></p><p>"Ah, welcome Dr. Goodman. Come in, come in. Have a seat. We're always happy to welcome a new member to the faculty. Would you like any panda jerky, imported all the way from China?"</p><p></p><p>Goodman was nonplussed, but tried not to show it. "Uh, no thank you." </p><p></p><p>"Now, let's discuss the semester." All of a sudden, the door open, and a young man stepped into the office.</p><p></p><p>"Excuse me, Dr. Eviller? I need some help with..." But he was cut off when Eviller took a shotgun out from behind his desk and shot the young man.</p><p></p><p>"Kids these days. Always interrupting." Goodman was appalled and couldn't believe it when he saw above the door, "Faculty members may shoot students for any reason." "Anyway, here's the syllabus for this semester."</p><p></p><p>Introductory Biology-1st Semester</p><p></p><p>Week 1-There is no god.</p><p></p><p>Week 2-If there is a god, he's evil.</p><p></p><p>Week 3-People who believe in god are evil.</p><p></p><p>Week 4-How creationism is evil.</p><p></p><p>Week 5-Natural selection.</p><p></p><p>Week 6-How your whole family is made up of monkeys.</p><p></p><p>Week 7-Eugenics</p><p></p><p>Week 8-How Nazism is good.</p><p></p><p>Week 9-How Communism is good.</p><p></p><p>Week 10-Sex and death are good.</p><p></p><p>Week 11-Darwin, the god of evolution.</p><p></p><p>Week 12-How to destroy religion.</p><p></p><p>Week 13-Scientific method, Biochemistry, Cell theory, Genetics, Ecology, Taxonomy</p><p></p><p>Goodman was horrified. "This, this is horrible."</p><p></p><p>"Yes, I know, but you don't have to do the last week if you don't get to it. Anyway, I'll get going. Have a great day teaching."</p><p></p><p>Eviller left, leaving Goodman not knowing what to do. But he left for class, trying to figure out what to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tryptophan, post: 39241334, member: 72738"] You know what, I feel like including my own parable. I feel SoF doesn't go far enough here. So here it is. Enjoy everyone! Chapter 1 Professor Goodman stepped onto the steps of the science building ready to start getting his students to think criticially about science and other things. Goodman was a very famous teacher, loved by all he met (except for the godless atheists in power) and winner of several awards, including the Nobel Peace Prize, various Pulitzers among others. He was famous for picking up garbage along more than 1,000 miles of highway, searching for the cure for cancer (if only the medical elites didn't get in his way) and singlehandedly pushing a whole group of beached whales back into the ocean. Now, he was here to make the world better for all of his students. Today was the first day of classes, but he would have to talk with Dean Eviller about the syllabus for the class. Goodman walked up the steps and in through the doors and past the offices that made up the science department. And there it was, Room 313, where Dr. Eviller would discuss the rest of the semester. Goodman knocked. "Come on in," a voice from the other side of the door said. "Thank you. I'm here to discuss this semester." "Ah, welcome Dr. Goodman. Come in, come in. Have a seat. We're always happy to welcome a new member to the faculty. Would you like any panda jerky, imported all the way from China?" Goodman was nonplussed, but tried not to show it. "Uh, no thank you." "Now, let's discuss the semester." All of a sudden, the door open, and a young man stepped into the office. "Excuse me, Dr. Eviller? I need some help with..." But he was cut off when Eviller took a shotgun out from behind his desk and shot the young man. "Kids these days. Always interrupting." Goodman was appalled and couldn't believe it when he saw above the door, "Faculty members may shoot students for any reason." "Anyway, here's the syllabus for this semester." Introductory Biology-1st Semester Week 1-There is no god. Week 2-If there is a god, he's evil. Week 3-People who believe in god are evil. Week 4-How creationism is evil. Week 5-Natural selection. Week 6-How your whole family is made up of monkeys. Week 7-Eugenics Week 8-How Nazism is good. Week 9-How Communism is good. Week 10-Sex and death are good. Week 11-Darwin, the god of evolution. Week 12-How to destroy religion. Week 13-Scientific method, Biochemistry, Cell theory, Genetics, Ecology, Taxonomy Goodman was horrified. "This, this is horrible." "Yes, I know, but you don't have to do the last week if you don't get to it. Anyway, I'll get going. Have a great day teaching." Eviller left, leaving Goodman not knowing what to do. But he left for class, trying to figure out what to do. [/QUOTE]
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