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Ever Molested?

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StrengthFromChrist

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Hi. I was molested by two different family members when I was ages 7 through 10. I spoke with one of them...the one that it happened the most with. However, I have never spoke with the other one because it only happened a couple of times and I fear that he will act like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. It's so hard to confront an abuser...whether it be sexual, physical, emotional, etc. I've had several abusers in my life...and have experienced different types of abuse. The thing that helped me out the most was remembering that any negative reactions I get from the abuser has nothing to do with me. It took me a long time to let go of shame, guilt, and blame. But when I was full of those things, it made it much harder for me to face the abuse.

Praying for you! I'm here if you need someone to talk to.
 
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misshadassah

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ok,
thank you for replying. i dont even know how to go about it! how did you confront the person? through call or you were actually face to face? me perosnally when i confront someone i like to be face to face but for some reason i am VERY nervous about doing that with this person. it just seeems extra hard for me.
 
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StrengthFromChrist

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I know what you mean. My counselor at the time actually encouraged me to confront them, but when I did it, I wasn't really ready. I was like you, didn't really know how to go about it. At that time, I had just broke the news to my parents, and they offered to be there with me. I agreed. I sat down at the kitchen table with my abuser and my parents. It was kind of wierd. Actually, I kind of froze up and didn't know what to say. I just cried most of the time. I started out just telling him that "it was now in the open"...meaning that my parents knew what happened. I didn't really say much. Lucky for me, he was very apologetic and took initiative to say he was sorry. He was abused as a child by my mother's step father and knew how I felt. The whole situation was just wierd for me. I think if I would have given it more thought and waited until I was ready, I would have been able to say more. When I did it, I wasn't really sure what I wanted to accomplish...I just had someone telling me that confronting them would probably help me to heal.

Anyway, I would say do whatever you feel most comfortable doing. I actually do much better talking to people when I can write a letter...and I get out everything I want to say a lot better. But I felt at the time that I had to do it face to face to conquer my fear I guess. But I suggest doing it however you feel most comfortable.
 
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misshadassah

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Wow...well the only thing with me is I am thinking about confronting him alone. I do not want to confront him with my mother, she knows what happened. But if I do perhaps I will take a friend with me. Its just that for some reason I am scared to call. I know I can do it! But actually dialing that number and saying to him" I want to talk to you about what you did to me when I was younger" just seems so hard! And God keeps telling me that I should do it. This may seem so cowardly but I think if I have a friend around when I am trying to call, it will be alot easier for me!
 
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susie1979

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Mine was my father. And yes I have. And when my son said same thing my mom that defends him call my son lying to my son face he was only 4 at the time.
 
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misshadassah

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wow thats ridicuous! also idk why, maybe it's the devil. but lately ive been feeling kind of angry about the situation. i have always claimed myself to be a virgin but now it's like technically speaking i am not because of what happened. have you ever felt this way? i know to some people virginity isn't that special, but its such a special thing to me and its a gift from God. i feel angry that my cousin "took it away" from me. it was mine! it kind of hurts, and he's living and doing his own thing now. but a voice has been telling me that because i have accepted God and am a daughter of God, he has renewed me so in his eyes I am a virgin. Did you ever feel this way?
 
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