Ever felt your life was poinltess? ''Depression/Anxiety''.. or??

[raychael]

I'm so sick of living so confused an indecisiveness about every important choice ahead of me, I'm sure a lot of people in their early twenties feel this way. Since I can remember I've been labeled as different and kind of a loner, not that I didn't have friends, I could get along with most kids, and always had two to three best friends through out my life so far.. but always feels like somethings missing.. or something is profoundly wrong with me, has anyone else ever felt this way? you wonder if its the depression? wonder if its just you being an 'over thinker'? maybe a few different reasons..
I was a really happy and sweet kid, then once I got to be about 17 and life started happening to me, a few overwhelming situations arose and I started having panic attacks, for about 3 months.. it left this detached/mild depressed feeling in me, it still lingers with me after 4 years.. about 2 years ago I had became extremely depressed a few months after finding out some terrible news about my mom, coupled with my Dad cheating on her and leaving us.. just a lot of bad news at that point in time, anyways I became very depressed and lost my appetite, a lot of sleep, and felt like I was going to lose it. I got on celexa (anti-depressant) for about 4-5 months it helped me significantly I got a job that I'm currently still at, and a car. then I quit it when after it did its job, which was basically numbing the pain until I got over that hump. It's been about a year and a half since I have been off anti depressants, and I am so use to anxiety, and depression, that I am functional with it, I still kind of enjoy life, family, and music, simple things, I appreciate any good thing in my life, and any peace that I have.
I just wonder sometimes when I'm alone like this if anyone else out there is feeling this way, and feels its changed them, or taken away from their life, motivation, cognitive ability, from their spirit, I want to feel connected in some way with people, and more so its always amazing to hear testimonies of those who can relate past tense to what I've described, that they found an answer, or came through and genuinely are restored. without antidepressants, or xanax. just truly have been healed.. has anyone here felt this way? has anyone been stuck for a while like me and wonders if they'll ever be free too? Anyone that has been cured/healed/restored from allusive strange mental illness symptoms ? If so please share, I'd like to hear your thoughts, beliefs, and anything you'd care to add. Thank you so much

 

[Noxot]

that is part of what it means to be human. it's normal to be sad when sad things happen and to be happy when happy things happen. i think everyone has strange mental symptoms and plenty of them become better than what they were. I can't even tell what would constitute "better" anymore a lot of the times.

it feels like I have been healed just as much as I have been killed. seems like there are pros and cons for most things. sometimes I think the real problem would be to not feel any "negative" emotions, but it just depends.

personally I think it is quite a thing to overcome being on antidepressants. I guess when a forest is growing that some parts of that growth only occur when some parts of it die. certain pine cones only let their seeds out when there is a forest fire.

 

[raychael]

that is part of what it means to be human. it's normal to be sad when sad things happen and to be happy when happy things happen. i think everyone has strange mental symptoms and plenty of them become better than what they were. I can't even tell what would constitute "better" anymore a lot of the times.

it feels like I have been healed just as much as I have been killed. seems like there are pros and cons for most things. sometimes I think the real problem would be to not feel any "negative" emotions, but it just depends.

personally I think it is quite a thing to overcome being on antidepressants. I guess when a forest is growing that some parts of that growth only occur when some parts of it die. certain pine cones only let their seeds out when there is a forest fire.

That's a theory, I get what you're saying about mixed feelings on what better means, it definitely has different meanings in different aspects, either way I'd like to think and hope that reality isn't being in a dark moody state, and having too many negative emotions dominant your outlook, consistent mood, and crush your hope.. is this what God wants for some people? if so, (learning process, building character, faith..etc. philosophize etc.) If so for their whole life? Is there any biblical answers for this?

 

[Noxot]

when I get stuck in various evils inside of myself I find that sometimes I can only see from a more negative pov, like, I literally can't understand the good side of things and can only know the worst parts. I don't think that God wants us to forever live in a pit. but sometimes if you are blind in some way, you might never know it til you fall into a pit.

if you can see this parable from a more inner pov then we can see how God works within our soul, even though most translations of this seem to mistake the "doth lift it up" and translate it instead as "takes it away":

John 15:1-11
`I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman; every branch in me not bearing fruit, He doth lift it up, and every one bearing fruit, He doth cleanse by pruning it, that it may bear more fruit; already ye are clean, because of the word that I have spoken to you; remain in me, and I in you, as the branch is not able to bear fruit of itself, if it may not remain in the vine, so neither ye, if ye may not remain in me. `I am the vine, ye the branches; he who is remaining in me, and I in him, this one doth bear much fruit, because apart from me ye are not able to do anything; if any one may not remain in me, he was cast forth without as the branch, and was withered, and they gather them, and cast to fire, and they are burned; if ye may remain in me, and my sayings in you may remain, whatever ye may wish ye shall ask, and it shall be done to you. `In this was my Father glorified, that ye may bear much fruit, and ye shall become my disciples. According as the Father did love me, I also loved you, remain in my love; if my commandments ye may keep, ye shall remain in my love, according as I the commands of my Father have kept, and do remain in His love; these things I have spoken to you, that my joy in you may remain, and your joy may be full.

being gathered and burned is not to condemn us it rather speaks of evils nature in that it cut us off from God and thus we wither but they are cut off and burned because it is like having evil spirits cast out. it is just a more extreme symbol of purification than a simple lifting up or pruning.

there are so many bible verses...

Isa 32:9-18 (YLT)
Women, easy ones, rise, hear my voice, Daughters, confident ones, give ear to my saying, Days and a year ye are troubled, O confident ones, For consumed hath been harvest, The gathering cometh not. Tremble ye women, ye easy ones, Be troubled, ye confident ones, Strip and make bare, with a girdle on the loins, For breasts they are lamenting, For fields of desire, for the fruitful vine. Over the ground of my people thorn--brier goeth up, Surely over all houses of joy of the exulting city, Surely the palace hath been left, The multitude of the city forsaken, Fort and watch-tower hath been for dens unto the age, A joy of wild asses--a pasture of herds; Till emptied out on us is the Spirit from on high, And a wilderness hath become a fruitful field, And the fruitful field for a forest is reckoned. And dwelt in the wilderness hath judgment, And righteousness in the fruitful field remaineth. And a work of the righteousness hath been peace, And a service of the righteousness--Keeping quiet and confidence unto the age. And dwelt hath My people in a peaceful habitation, And in stedfast tabernacles, And in quiet resting-places.

Rom 8:19-28 (YLT)
for the earnest looking out of the creation doth expect the revelation of the sons of God; for to vanity was the creation made subject--not of its will, but because of Him who did subject it --in hope, that also the creation itself shall be set free from the servitude of the corruption to the liberty of the glory of the children of God; for we have known that all the creation doth groan together, and doth travail in pain together till now. And not only so , but also we ourselves, having the first-fruit of the Spirit, we also ourselves in ourselves do groan, adoption expecting--the redemption of our body; for in hope we were saved, and hope beheld is not hope; for what any one doth behold, why also doth he hope for it ? and if what we do not behold we hope for, through continuance we expect it . And, in like manner also, the Spirit doth help our weaknesses; for, what we may pray for, as it behoveth us , we have not known, but the Spirit himself doth make intercession for us with groanings unutterable, and He who is searching the hearts hath known what is the mind of the Spirit, because according to God he doth intercede for saints. And we have known that to those loving God all things do work together for good, to those who are called according to purpose;

Gal 5:19-25 (YLT)
And manifest also are the works of the flesh, which are: Adultery, whoredom, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, strifes, emulations, wraths, rivalries, dissensions, sects, envyings, murders, drunkennesses, revellings, and such like, of which I tell you before, as I also said before, that those doing such things the reign of God shall not inherit. And the fruit of the Spirit is: Love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law; and those who are Christ's, the flesh did crucify with the affections, and the desires; if we may live in the Spirit, in the Spirit also we may walk;

Eph 5:8-11 (YLT)
for ye were once darkness, and now light in the Lord; as children of light walk ye, for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, and righteousness, and truth, proving what is well-pleasing to the Lord, and have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of the darkness and rather even convict,

 

[raychael]

when I get stuck in various evils inside of myself I find that sometimes I can only see from a more negative pov, like, I literally can't understand the good side of things and can only know the worst parts. I don't think that God wants us to forever live in a pit. but sometimes if you are blind in some way, you might never know it til you fall into a pit.

if you can see this parable from a more inner pov then we can see how God works within our soul, even though most translations of this seem to mistake the "doth lift it up" and translate it instead as "takes it away":

John 15:1-11
`I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman; every branch in me not bearing fruit, He doth lift it up, and every one bearing fruit, He doth cleanse by pruning it, that it may bear more fruit; already ye are clean, because of the word that I have spoken to you; remain in me, and I in you, as the branch is not able to bear fruit of itself, if it may not remain in the vine, so neither ye, if ye may not remain in me. `I am the vine, ye the branches; he who is remaining in me, and I in him, this one doth bear much fruit, because apart from me ye are not able to do anything; if any one may not remain in me, he was cast forth without as the branch, and was withered, and they gather them, and cast to fire, and they are burned; if ye may remain in me, and my sayings in you may remain, whatever ye may wish ye shall ask, and it shall be done to you. `In this was my Father glorified, that ye may bear much fruit, and ye shall become my disciples. According as the Father did love me, I also loved you, remain in my love; if my commandments ye may keep, ye shall remain in my love, according as I the commands of my Father have kept, and do remain in His love; these things I have spoken to you, that my joy in you may remain, and your joy may be full.

being gathered and burned is not to condemn us it rather speaks of evils nature in that it cut us off from God and thus we wither but they are cut off and burned because it is like having evil spirits cast out. it is just a more extreme symbol of purification than a simple lifting up or pruning.

there are so many bible verses...

Isa 32:9-18 (YLT)
Women, easy ones, rise, hear my voice, Daughters, confident ones, give ear to my saying, Days and a year ye are troubled, O confident ones, For consumed hath been harvest, The gathering cometh not. Tremble ye women, ye easy ones, Be troubled, ye confident ones, Strip and make bare, with a girdle on the loins, For breasts they are lamenting, For fields of desire, for the fruitful vine. Over the ground of my people thorn--brier goeth up, Surely over all houses of joy of the exulting city, Surely the palace hath been left, The multitude of the city forsaken, Fort and watch-tower hath been for dens unto the age, A joy of wild asses--a pasture of herds; Till emptied out on us is the Spirit from on high, And a wilderness hath become a fruitful field, And the fruitful field for a forest is reckoned. And dwelt in the wilderness hath judgment, And righteousness in the fruitful field remaineth. And a work of the righteousness hath been peace, And a service of the righteousness--Keeping quiet and confidence unto the age. And dwelt hath My people in a peaceful habitation, And in stedfast tabernacles, And in quiet resting-places.

Rom 8:19-28 (YLT)
for the earnest looking out of the creation doth expect the revelation of the sons of God; for to vanity was the creation made subject--not of its will, but because of Him who did subject it --in hope, that also the creation itself shall be set free from the servitude of the corruption to the liberty of the glory of the children of God; for we have known that all the creation doth groan together, and doth travail in pain together till now. And not only so , but also we ourselves, having the first-fruit of the Spirit, we also ourselves in ourselves do groan, adoption expecting--the redemption of our body; for in hope we were saved, and hope beheld is not hope; for what any one doth behold, why also doth he hope for it ? and if what we do not behold we hope for, through continuance we expect it . And, in like manner also, the Spirit doth help our weaknesses; for, what we may pray for, as it behoveth us , we have not known, but the Spirit himself doth make intercession for us with groanings unutterable, and He who is searching the hearts hath known what is the mind of the Spirit, because according to God he doth intercede for saints. And we have known that to those loving God all things do work together for good, to those who are called according to purpose;

Gal 5:19-25 (YLT)
And manifest also are the works of the flesh, which are: Adultery, whoredom, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, strifes, emulations, wraths, rivalries, dissensions, sects, envyings, murders, drunkennesses, revellings, and such like, of which I tell you before, as I also said before, that those doing such things the reign of God shall not inherit. And the fruit of the Spirit is: Love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law; and those who are Christ's, the flesh did crucify with the affections, and the desires; if we may live in the Spirit, in the Spirit also we may walk;

Eph 5:8-11 (YLT)
for ye were once darkness, and now light in the Lord; as children of light walk ye, for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, and righteousness, and truth, proving what is well-pleasing to the Lord, and have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of the darkness and rather even convict,

I don't want to go to hell
I wish I had never been born if so

 

[Noxot]

I don't want to go to hell
I wish I had never been born if so

many Christians have this problem of fear of hell. but you can't always base your life with God on fear for fear is tormenting. I hope that we might all be so established in his perfect love.

1 John 4 :17-19 (YLT)
In this made perfect hath been the love with us, that boldness we may have in the day of the judgment, because even as He is, we--we also are in this world; fear is not in the love, but the perfect love doth cast out the fear, because the fear hath punishment, and he who is fearing hath not been made perfect in the love; we--we love him, because He--He first loved us;

 

[raychael]

many Christians have this problem of fear of hell. but you can't always base your life with God on fear for fear is tormenting. I hope that we might all be so established in his perfect love.

1 John 4 :17-19 (YLT)
In this made perfect hath been the love with us, that boldness we may have in the day of the judgment, because even as He is, we--we also are in this world; fear is not in the love, but the perfect love doth cast out the fear, because the fear hath punishment, and he who is fearing hath not been made perfect in the love; we--we love him, because He--He first loved us;

I guess I haven't been made in perfect love..
hopefully it is to come, but there were moments in the past when I would be having a panic attack (intense anxiety) and someone would pray for me and the fear would start to fade away, I know his love is powerful and perfect I use to be very close to God.

 

[Noxot]

anxiety is pretty hard to completely overcome. i'm still struggling with it myself. it seems that from an early age that I have had it and so my brain and body has had plenty of time to build that up in me. it almost feels so automatic sometimes and so it makes you feel powerless in dealing with it.

God does not have anywhere to go, he is near all of us even though we sometimes forget. I want to be as close to God as I can be but I try to run away from him if I forget what he is about. or sometimes I numb myself out so much and I feel the emptiness of life. it appears that humans lean towards destruction when they don't have anything higher to reach for. I know I have often desired to be destroyed or to not exist, because that is a kind of relief or a peace, but it is one that does not believe in eternal and everlasting love.

 

[Noxot]

I think that there is a perfect divine seed of love in all of us and it is the tree of life. the Lord knows how to tend to the best parts of us and he shall surly conquer everything that fights against us. I believe it is the Lords pleasure to give us the kingdom, as the bible says it is.

I still find myself a little bit lost in my life but more and more i'm starting to think that when I feel the evils inside of myself that they are only there so that I will reject them and overcome them and I think that that is an expression of love to God that we can make.

what kind of love does God have when he only wants what is best for us and yet at the same time he can't make us his slaves because we have to have freedom or else we can't love but if he sometimes lets us feel the bad parts of life or of ourselves he does not want us to stay there... but he also does not want us to always be compelled by his love that he has for us for then how could we love him if we were so compelled by his love?

I feel that God wants what we want but that he wants it more than we could want it. and I think he understands better what we deeply want than often even we ourselves can feel and sometimes we might be confused as to what we want. I think of Gods love as far beyond whatever I could feel or comprehend and so I find myself in a mystery in this world that I might not fully understand, but it seems like "faith, hope, and love" are among the best things to have.

 

[Noxot]

I don't mean to spam so much but I found this to be a very good bible verse:

Isa 54:6-17 (YLT)
For, as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, Called thee hath Jehovah, Even a youthful wife when she is refused, said thy God. In a small moment I have forsaken thee, And in great mercies I do gather thee, In overflowing wrath I hid my face for a moment from thee, And in kindness age-during I have loved thee, Said thy Redeemer--Jehovah! For, the waters of Noah is this to Me, In that I have sworn--the waters of Noah Do not pass again over the earth--So I have sworn, Wrath is not upon thee, Nor rebuke against thee. For the mountains depart, and the hills remove, And My kindness from thee departeth not, And the covenant of My peace removeth not, Said hath thy loving one--Jehovah. O afflicted, storm-tossed, not comforted, Lo, I am laying with cement thy stones, And have founded thee with sapphires, And have made of agate thy pinnacles, And thy gates of carbuncle stones, And all thy border of stones of delight, And all thy sons are taught of Jehovah, And abundant is the peace of thy sons. In righteousness thou establishest thyself, Be far from oppression, for thou fearest not, And from ruin, for it cometh not near unto thee. Lo, he doth diligently assemble without My desire, Who hath assembled near thee? By thee he falleth! Lo, I--I have prepared an artisan, Blowing on a fire of coals, And bringing out an instrument for his work, And I have prepared a destroyer to destroy. No weapon formed against thee prospereth, And every tongue rising against thee, In judgment thou condemnest. This is the inheritance of the servants of Jehovah, And their righteousness from me, an affirmation of Jehovah!

we can pick Gods love or we can can torture ourselves... but I know the Lord does not will that for very long we suffer because him hiding but for a moment feels like hell. but it must be that he had to hide for a little moment, out of his love, for I know no other motivation that God has for his beloved other than that he loves her. and he does not want his love to be trapped in evil for he knows how good and right love is so he is jealous over us for our own sake, seeing our suffering and blindness and coming to heal us and save us from our brokenness. and if we can at all do anything for the Lord, I think that he desires such because I don't think he wants to be alone either.

 

[MissMae]

Hi - I actually signed up so I could reply to this thread. (because I know from experience that this advice, and a plethora of scriptures is less than helpful in the real world)

I've felt the same as you for the last 6 months - I ended up failing some college units because I was unmotivated and the longer I left things, the worse it got.

You should see a doctor. I was scared, and worried I'd be prescribed something (because I believe drugs should only be used by the mentally ill, not people like me who struggle with "circumstantial" anxiety).

Anyway, my GP assessed me and worked out what we call in Australia a "Mental Health Plan" which is free and allows you to see a psychiatrist at a discounted rate and get the advice you need. (I'm not sure if your country offers a similar program).

My eyes were opened to possibilities of managing my anxiety and my depressive episodes without the need for medication, using exercises that worked specifically for me and my brain.

God wants you to look after yourself and be healthy! That's what doctors are for, and it applies to your mental health as well. xx

 

[ChristsMercy]

I'm so sick of living so confused an indecisiveness about every important choice ahead of me, I'm sure a lot of people in their early twenties feel this way. Since I can remember I've been labeled as different and kind of a loner, not that I didn't have friends, I could get along with most kids, and always had two to three best friends through out my life so far.. but always feels like somethings missing.. or something is profoundly wrong with me, has anyone else ever felt this way? you wonder if its the depression? wonder if its just you being an 'over thinker'? maybe a few different reasons..
I was a really happy and sweet kid, then once I got to be about 17 and life started happening to me, a few overwhelming situations arose and I started having panic attacks, for about 3 months.. it left this detached/mild depressed feeling in me, it still lingers with me after 4 years.. about 2 years ago I had became extremely depressed a few months after finding out some terrible news about my mom, coupled with my Dad cheating on her and leaving us.. just a lot of bad news at that point in time, anyways I became very depressed and lost my appetite, a lot of sleep, and felt like I was going to lose it. I got on celexa (anti-depressant) for about 4-5 months it helped me significantly I got a job that I'm currently still at, and a car. then I quit it when after it did its job, which was basically numbing the pain until I got over that hump. It's been about a year and a half since I have been off anti depressants, and I am so use to anxiety, and depression, that I am functional with it, I still kind of enjoy life, family, and music, simple things, I appreciate any good thing in my life, and any peace that I have.
I just wonder sometimes when I'm alone like this if anyone else out there is feeling this way, and feels its changed them, or taken away from their life, motivation, cognitive ability, from their spirit, I want to feel connected in some way with people, and more so its always amazing to hear testimonies of those who can relate past tense to what I've described, that they found an answer, or came through and genuinely are restored. without antidepressants, or xanax. just truly have been healed.. has anyone here felt this way? has anyone been stuck for a while like me and wonders if they'll ever be free too? Anyone that has been cured/healed/restored from allusive strange mental illness symptoms ? If so please share, I'd like to hear your thoughts, beliefs, and anything you'd care to add. Thank you so much

Anxiety, worry, and panic are something I deal with on a regular basis. Preaching to the choir, these are terrible things. The best medicine is to put your faith in God, and also really get out in the world and become productive. Get a job you like, exercise, find some new hobbies, make some friends. The WORST thing you can do is sit at the house. No matter what, get outside.

 

[lanternburning]

I'm so sick of living so confused an indecisiveness about every important choice ahead of me, I'm sure a lot of people in their early twenties feel this way. Since I can remember I've been labeled as different and kind of a loner, not that I didn't have friends, I could get along with most kids, and always had two to three best friends through out my life so far.. but always feels like somethings missing.. or something is profoundly wrong with me, has anyone else ever felt this way? you wonder if its the depression? wonder if its just you being an 'over thinker'? maybe a few different reasons..
I was a really happy and sweet kid, then once I got to be about 17 and life started happening to me, a few overwhelming situations arose and I started having panic attacks, for about 3 months.. it left this detached/mild depressed feeling in me, it still lingers with me after 4 years.. about 2 years ago I had became extremely depressed a few months after finding out some terrible news about my mom, coupled with my Dad cheating on her and leaving us.. just a lot of bad news at that point in time, anyways I became very depressed and lost my appetite, a lot of sleep, and felt like I was going to lose it. I got on celexa (anti-depressant) for about 4-5 months it helped me significantly I got a job that I'm currently still at, and a car. then I quit it when after it did its job, which was basically numbing the pain until I got over that hump. It's been about a year and a half since I have been off anti depressants, and I am so use to anxiety, and depression, that I am functional with it, I still kind of enjoy life, family, and music, simple things, I appreciate any good thing in my life, and any peace that I have.
I just wonder sometimes when I'm alone like this if anyone else out there is feeling this way, and feels its changed them, or taken away from their life, motivation, cognitive ability, from their spirit, I want to feel connected in some way with people, and more so its always amazing to hear testimonies of those who can relate past tense to what I've described, that they found an answer, or came through and genuinely are restored. without antidepressants, or xanax. just truly have been healed.. has anyone here felt this way? has anyone been stuck for a while like me and wonders if they'll ever be free too? Anyone that has been cured/healed/restored from allusive strange mental illness symptoms ? If so please share, I'd like to hear your thoughts, beliefs, and anything you'd care to add. Thank you so much

Remember that everyone experiences depression differently. And a treatment that worked for others may not work for you. I take antidepressants, and they definitely help me. I notice a huge difference when I forget to take a pill one day. And you know what? That's okay. The important thing is that I've sought help. I highly suggest that you visit a doctor or counselor for more information on the treatment process.

 

[Peace Keeper]

I have struggled with depression in the past (never took antidepressants) and at times I still get down hearted or discouraged just with life, but not as depressed as I use to get (thinking about hurting myself etc., never did though) I went through a lot especially in my High school years when I went through surgeries and lost some ability I had before. I withdrew within myself and hardly went out. Not many people came by to support and or help me during this time, so I became very depressed and tried finding friends online which only made it even worse. The problem that I found was I was trying to trust on outward sources to help fill that void and emptiness and sadness within me, but the only one that can fill that void and emptiness is Jesus. He helped me and is still helping me to overcome and not live in the past like I used to. Those medicines may help a little or mask the pain, but God brings true healing, but we must seek Him diligently through His word and pray and keep our minds on Him. The change doesn't happen overnight usually, but if we keep at it, it does get better.