Engagement Period?

[d10sfan]

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[mina]

Well when you get engaged ; you REALLY want to be married. and the concept is much closer and reality based. I think the longer you wait is a bad idea b/c you start to foster thoughts like "well we ARE getting married" and people just tend to get sloppy in their treatment of the relationship- in lots of different areas. This is all my opinion and from my perspective of course. It just gets old the longer the wait. I couldnt imagine being engaged and having to WAIT to plan our lives together and watching other people getting engaged and married and moving on all around us. I think it would just make me restless.
But in the end you should both discuss it and make the descion together.

 

[d10sfan]

Well when you get engaged ; you REALLY want to be married. and the concept is much closer and reality based. I think the longer you wait is a bad idea b/c you start to foster thoughts like "well we ARE getting married" and people just tend to get sloppy in their treatment of the relationship- in lots of different areas. This is all my opinion and from my perspective of course. It just gets old the longer the wait. I couldnt imagine being engaged and having to WAIT to plan our lives together and watching other people getting engaged and married and moving on all around us. I think it would just make me restless.
But in the end you should both discuss it and make the descion together.

Ok thanks very much!

 

[Melethiel]

Our engagement period is a year and a half. We felt this was reasonable for us as it will give us enough time to finish school, and also plan the wedding long-distance (we're not getting married where either of our schools are). You need to determine where you are in your relationship, and what you feel you need to have done before you marry.

 

[iambren]

I don't believe in long engagements; 6 months tops. IF you are serious that this is your wife for life then get on with it!

 

[gzt]

I think school is definitely an odd situation. Anyway, the first thing is that you can't really have "official" engagement vs we're-definitely-getting-married-but-he-hasn't-given-me-a-ring-yet engagement. I know you didn't mention this, but, well, I think you need to consider that, the moment the two of you definitely openly decide to get married, you're engaged and that's when the timer starts.

Getting married while you're in school can be done. A lot of people don't consider it, I'm not sure why, but I'm sure they have reasons. Since you're in school, I don't think you need to rush to do either (get engaged or get married), but you also do need to keep things real.

So, in short, don't rush in, but don't dally. I realize this isn't too constructive, but I hope it helps.

 

[Luther073082]

When I was in college most people didn't really get engaged til at least their junior year, and most waited til their senior year.

A lot of people got engaged their senior year.

I would recommend at least a year because you need the time to plan a wedding and things. But at the same time I wouldn't recommend having an engagement several years long either.

Maybe get engaged at the end of your junior year/ the summer after your junior year and set the date for sometime during the summer after you both graduate.

 

[lbarr088]

I've always been under the impression that it is not good to wait too long to get married once engaged. I always thought a year was perfect timing. Enough time to make sure EVERYONE can get time off to come (heehee) and get yourselves together money wise, event wise, etc. I like to think of the engagement period as a time to prep for your married life. I wouldn't want to rush it too much unless that is something that both individuals want. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to be engaged for multiple years because, to me, that just states "well, we are ALMOST ready to be fully committed for the rest of our lives." I guess all in all, it really depends on the couple.

 

[Luther073082]

I've always been under the impression that it is not good to wait too long to get married once engaged. I always thought a year was perfect timing. Enough time to make sure EVERYONE can get time off to come (heehee) and get yourselves together money wise, event wise, etc. I like to think of the engagement period as a time to prep for your married life. I wouldn't want to rush it too much unless that is something that both individuals want. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to be engaged for multiple years because, to me, that just states "well, we are ALMOST ready to be fully committed for the rest of our lives." I guess all in all, it really depends on the couple.

On average, a year is probably a good amount of time. I think the thing that you want to avoid is the situation where people are perpetually engaged for years and years before they decide to set a date. To me thats just silly.

 

[lbarr088]

On average, a year is probably a good amount of time. I think the thing that you want to avoid is the situation where people are perpetually engaged for years and years before they decide to set a date. To me thats just silly.

I completely agree!

 

[firminite123]

So crazy you are........

 

[yourstrulyjulie]

I think school is definitely an odd situation. Anyway, the first thing is that you can't really have "official" engagement vs we're-definitely-getting-married-but-he-hasn't-given-me-a-ring-yet engagement. I know you didn't mention this, but, well, I think you need to consider that, the moment the two of you definitely openly decide to get married, you're engaged and that's when the timer starts.

Getting married while you're in school can be done. A lot of people don't consider it, I'm not sure why, but I'm sure they have reasons. Since you're in school, I don't think you need to rush to do either (get engaged or get married), but you also do need to keep things real.

So, in short, don't rush in, but don't dally. I realize this isn't too constructive, but I hope it helps.

I disagree. We decided we would get married years ago. Still not engaged (unfortunately).