Elsa's grandma is passing away

[Meshavrischika]

She is in the hospital with pneumonia and has refused further treatment... so she is dying. Elsa's dad called and talked to her last night. She was crushed. Basically we are waiting till she passes then he is flying Elsa down to her memorial.

What can I do to reach out to her without being overbearing. When I have tried (last night and this morning) she rolls her eyes and gets a posture of "leave me alone". I so much want to help her through this, but am miserable at being sensitive.

HELP!

 

[MyaShane]

We're going through this now with the girls' great-grandma, too.

So, I don't have advice, but lots of prayers!

 

[Black-bird fly]

We are going through something similar right now with my grandfather.

You offer her a great listening ear and all the hugs she may need and then wait on her.

Seriously, in situations like this it takes me a long time to be ready to process it. When my grandfather and a dear friend of mine died while I was a child it took me years before I was ready to talk about it. I knew my parents were there but I wasn't ready to let go of my feelings about it yet.

 

[Meshavrischika]

My grandfather died when Elsa was 4. I cried for a solid week... it still makes me cry if I think about it too long. I just don't want her to be in pain without an outlet.

 

[Robinsegg]

Sorry, I don't know how old your daughter is . . . or how she responds best. But, maybe if you did one of these, it would let her know you care?
1. Get a card, write a message that she can talk to you any time, and mail it to her.
2. Get a single rose and attach an "I care" message to the stem.
3. Give her a small packet of tissues for her purse, and put a note on them with your phone # (for while she's away).
4. Give her a calling card, so she can call home while she's away at the service.
5. Give her a coupon for one big hug and her favorite treat, to be redeemed at her convenience.

These things are fairly inexpensive, but might show her you care in a way she can accept better just now

Rachel

 

[Meshavrischika]

2 and 5 sound good. She'll be 12 this summer, she's away from her dad's home, with us, about 10 hours from where we used to all live.

 

[Gianna]

She is in the hospital with pneumonia and has refused further treatment... so she is dying. Elsa's dad called and talked to her last night. She was crushed. Basically we are waiting till she passes then he is flying Elsa down to her memorial.

What can I do to reach out to her without being overbearing. When I have tried (last night and this morning) she rolls her eyes and gets a posture of "leave me alone". I so much want to help her through this, but am miserable at being sensitive.

HELP!

I take it Elsa is a teen/pre-teen...I have one of those too....my heart goes out to you for being a good mom...I struggle with this too.
What works for me is I stand back a couple feet, reach out with one hand to her arm, and say, "It feels to me like you probably don't want to talk. If you do, I'm always here." then I change the subject. Usually, within five minutes, my daughter will return to the sensitive subject and open up. I will pray for you - it's a tough situation for you.

 

[Gianna]

Sorry, I don't know how old your daughter is . . . or how she responds best. But, maybe if you did one of these, it would let her know you care?
1. Get a card, write a message that she can talk to you any time, and mail it to her.
2. Get a single rose and attach an "I care" message to the stem.
3. Give her a small packet of tissues for her purse, and put a note on them with your phone # (for while she's away).
4. Give her a calling card, so she can call home while she's away at the service.
5. Give her a coupon for one big hug and her favorite treat, to be redeemed at her convenience.

These things are fairly inexpensive, but might show her you care in a way she can accept better just now

Rachel

These are beautiful and TANGIBLE reminders...each time she looks at one of these things, she will remember the loving heart that gave it to her...this is A BRILLIANT idea.

 

[Robinsegg]

Something I didn't mention about the two you liked . . . You can leave these on her pillow, or any other place she would find them, w/o having to place it in her hand. That way, she can react to you when she's ready, and you don't have to see her eyes roll if she's trying to block all emotion just now
Rachel

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Something I didn't mention about the two you liked . . . You can leave these on her pillow, or any other place she would find them, w/o having to place it in her hand. That way, she can react to you when she's ready, and you don't have to see her eyes roll if she's trying to block all emotion just now
Rachel

That's a wonderful idea.