E harmony

eatenbylocusts · Sep 4, 2009

EADGBE said:
Eatenbylocusts,

I'm more than 45 pounds overweight, although I am working on losing the weight. I guess I've pretty much given up on finding a date, or love for that matter.

Michelle

Don't give up.

EADGBE · Sep 4, 2009

eatenbylocusts said:
Don't give up.

Eatenbylocusts,

I'm sorry that I sounded like such a downer. I guess that I haven't really given up on looking for dates and love, but I've given up on doing the "stuff" like Eharmony and am just going out and enjoying life. I have often joked to friends that I don't think I could find a man who could keep up with me!

The problem is that most of the time, I'm meeting men that are involved with someone else.

Michelle

eatenbylocusts · Sep 5, 2009

EADGBE said:
Eatenbylocusts,

I'm sorry that I sounded like such a downer. I guess that I haven't really given up on looking for dates and love, but I've given up on doing the "stuff" like Eharmony and am just going out and enjoying life. I have often joked to friends that I don't think I could find a man who could keep up with me!

The problem is that most of the time, I'm meeting men that are involved with someone else.

Michelle

Well, that actually sounds pretty good if you're out there having fun.

After 5 years of online dating services and being involved with single's groups and going to lots of Christian dances, I was through with the online dating sites after the guy I'd been dating confessed he had been living with his gf and she had just moved out ( I actually got to see some great answers to prayer and evidence of the Holy Spirit through this). That was the final straw. I'd met some other guys who seemed really great, but confounded me with their confusion. I was ready for a break and just wanted to go on some motorcycle rides. Along comes my future fiance hidden in the shape of a friend.

Spirit_Star · Sep 7, 2009

I do have an account with them but its not active as Im not really looking right now. I do know of people who have met their spouse through online dating sites. I have a friend she meet her husband at Match.com in 2002, dated for two ½ years and got married and their son turned a year old March 17 this year. They were both in their early 30s when they meet, neither had been married. I did go on one date through a dating site it was not Eharmony cant recall what it was really as it was 4 or 5 years ago. I figure if I am meant to get married one day that God will led me to that man in some way.

Beauty4Ashes · Sep 7, 2009

One of my closest friends met her husband on e-Harmony

Tenorvoice · Sep 9, 2009

I have not been here in a LONG time but was asked to share my success story of eHarmony.

I was bored stiff out of my mind one night in late Oct three years ago this coming Oct, so I went on both Match.com and eHarmony and filled out the profile thingy. Match.com was nothing more than a singles bar meat market online from what I had seen, were as eHarmony was not IMHO. I was not matched up with anybody to start out with (guess I was a little to strick in what I was looking for ) hehe...

well about two weeks later I was contacted that I was matched with a young lady an hour north of me. I had still not "joined" at this time and had only done the free trail thing. I prayed about it and figured that it cost about the same as a really nice dinner and movie out, so what they hey may as well give it a shot (I had pretty much given up on trying to find someone at this point in my life BTW).

we went through the very detailed introduction phase and got to start talking w/ eachother on the phone early Dec. We met for the first time on Jan 6th 2007 and had our first date. Our first conversation that we had face to face was our thought and veiws on Eph 5:18-6:4 and 1 Peter 3:7. what a way to start out a relatioship hehe.

Well I knew from the very look eye to eye that she was the one that G-d had prepared for me and me for her. I talked with her dad the weekend of July 4th 2007 about marrying his last daughter, he had reservations about it and asked me to wait a little while. Early Sept 2007 I asked for her hand in marriage and she of course said yes.

We were married on June 21 2008 and we each Praise G-d about the way that He brought us together.

Tenorvoice · Sep 9, 2009

one more thing....

we went on a mini vacation a few weeks ago to Lancaster PA and while we were @ the B&B we stayed in we found out that all three couples (including ourselves) had met their spouses on eHarmoy too

dayhiker · Sep 11, 2009

Tenor ... great stroy ... praise God

Breeze7 · Sep 13, 2009

Thanks Tenor for sharing your story! For us that are single it is always encouraging and hopeful to hear of couples that God puts together.

I myself have tried some dating sites after personally seeing some couples meet and get married. However, it didn't work so well for me. I was really disappointed to discover so many fake Christians too.

It was a great learning experience though and I did have a long distance relationship for almost a year with someone that turned out to just be stringing me on. If I was honest with myself I knew it wasn't right from the beginning, but I think going on the dating sites tend to put your focus on finding a mate as a priority in life, instead of keeping God #1.

I don't think the dating sites are bad and during my free weekend trial on Eharmony I did see a lot of great interesting guys.

However, I think it is important to keep God first and stay busy doing what it is He would have us to do. God knows what we need and want and is big enough to make it happen. We just need to do our part - pray, trust, and obey God... and then let God do His part!

I know - easier said than done - but isn't that the case with most things in life?

God's blessing to everyone on their journey...

Cheers,
Brenda

eatenbylocusts · Sep 14, 2009

Breeze7 said:
If I was honest with myself I knew it wasn't right from the beginning, but I think going on the dating sites tend to put your focus on finding a mate as a priority in life, instead of keeping God #1.

However, I think it is important to keep God first and stay busy doing what it is He would have us to do. God knows what we need and want and is big enough to make it happen. We just need to do our part - pray, trust, and obey God... and then let God do His part!

Brenda

This is some good stuff. Listen to the red flags and promptings and save yourself some heartbreak and time.

memoriesbymichelle · Sep 15, 2009

Breeze7 said:
Thanks Tenor for sharing your story! For us that are single it is always encouraging and hopeful to hear of couples that God puts together.

I myself have tried some dating sites after personally seeing some couples meet and get married. However, it didn't work so well for me. I was really disappointed to discover so many fake Christians too.

It was a great learning experience though and I did have a long distance relationship for almost a year with someone that turned out to just be stringing me on. If I was honest with myself I knew it wasn't right from the beginning, but I think going on the dating sites tend to put your focus on finding a mate as a priority in life, instead of keeping God #1.

I don't think the dating sites are bad and during my free weekend trial on Eharmony I did see a lot of great interesting guys.

However, I think it is important to keep God first and stay busy doing what it is He would have us to do. God knows what we need and want and is big enough to make it happen. We just need to do our part - pray, trust, and obey God... and then let God do His part!

I know - easier said than done - but isn't that the case with most things in life?

God's blessing to everyone on their journey...

Cheers,
Brenda

Post of the day! I agree that we need to focus on God first! Seek ye first the kingdom of God and everything else we need will be done. That's why I don't "look" for a mate. I'm not sure if God wants me to have one again or not, (since I'm a widow), and if He does want me to have one, then I'm sure he could find a way for us to meet. If I actively go out "looking" it might not be the right time to find the right person, which would just cause agony and stress that I really don't want or need in my life. I'm not opposed to other people "looking" it's just not what I feel I should do in my life.

GQ Chris · Sep 17, 2009

I got a profile on yahoo personals but I havent subscribed. There is this one Christian girl on there that I put on "favorites", lol but I have not yet subscribed, I don't know whether its worth the money and right now I feel like I have been called to not date anyone.

mannysee · Oct 25, 2009

I signed up about one month ago after seeing the ads on tv.
Sucker

I have to admit, if I receive a match that I am not physically attracted to then I don't follow through any further.
That can seem a bit tough, though I am sure the same thing happens in reverse in spite of being matched.

Still, it is worth trying the site for a couple of months.
And you can only hope and pray.

FaithnHope · Oct 25, 2009

I've been using online dating sites for around 8 years. For the first 3 years or so, I found dates relatively easily which was great b/c I am a late bloomer so I'm talking already being 28 years old at this point. Now, the past 6 years have been pretty nonexistent. I am not sure if it has to do with age (I'm now 37) or becoming a Christian. I just don't know.

Most recently, I had been using eHarmony, Christiancafe and ChristianMingl.com (formerly relationships.com) and just no luck. I rarely get any responses from guys and when I do, they are usually 15 years older ready to start their second families or just completely guys I'm not interested in (bad hygience - hairy beards, etc.). I admit, I've lost a lot of faith in it.

To those who are worried about being overweight - it really has nothing to do with it. I am thin and it has not made a difference in responses.

I've never met guys offline - they just do not approach me. I thought online would be the answer for me but now it's telling me No also.

I have a ton of matches on eHarmony and only maybe 2 men even contacted me. I know I only need ONE but ....{Sigh} The short of it is...it's just not working for me.

I know many people who have met their husbands online. Lately, I can't even seem to get a break from online.

And with eHarmony now being $59.99 a month, yikes!

Jenster · Nov 1, 2009

I was on a long time ago, hardly got matched with anyone. I met one guy for lunch but there was no click, no ease, so I ended it then.

I also just plain have a hard time trusting Internet dating. There's just this discomfort level I've always felt.

But that being said, as I get older, I'm more considering eHarmony. The main reason is that the singles I meet at singles events are, like, more than 10 years younger than I am. Those are bad odds. I either need to find IRL singles groups targeting my age (although many are groups for divorced people) or find another venue for mid-life singles.

I have had friends with good experiences with eHarmony and bad experiences. So I know it's possible to meet someone decent but you need to pray about it and be very selective. If there's anything odd about the person, I would not hesitate to close him out.

Mydnyte · Apr 13, 2011

I tried it for a while, and it was honestly just an EXTREMELY disappointing experience.

luvs_luv · Jun 14, 2011

I have been on plentyoffish.com and datehookup.com, which are both free sites. I also just found christiandatingforfree.com. I get quite a bit of email, and some (always local) I have met at Jim's Restaurant. I have met several nice men, most not for me. I have kept several as really good friends and we are encouragers to each other. I don't know if this will help you, but I read the book "All the Rules" and "All the rules for online dating." The book has common sense advice, like the kind our mothers and grandmothers shared with us. I've been on the dating sites for a couple of years and still feel very optimistic. I just put my profile on total honesty of who I am and what I desire to have. The right hearted men find me. Sometimes, not often, I'll break the ice first. Oh yes, I decided to pay 3 months for ChristianMingle.com. The free sites are the best by far.

dayhiker · Jun 15, 2011

I found the free sites are best as well. That's where I found my GF.

mjmcmillan · Jun 15, 2011

Has the situation changed since the last time I tried something like that? "Dozens of women and thousands of men" doesn't make for good odds in my opinion.

dayhiker · Jun 15, 2011

Women get a whole lot more emails from guys that guys get from women. That said, there does seem to be quite a few women on the sites. Actual percent of met to women I've not heard.

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