Dtr ...

[_sunshinegirl]

I have heard a lot about this DTR [defining the relantionship] with a person and I was wondering exactly what is it & what does it entail?

 

[wvmtnkid]

I think it would include just being open and honest with the person you are with about your feelings and where we are in the relationship. If you feel that the relationship is going faster or heading in a direction you aren't quite ready for, then I think it's time to slow it down and tell the person you are with that you just want to be friends for now and that things are moving faster than you would like. On the other side, if you have been friends for awhile and you are ready to step up to the next level and be more then friends, it may just require setting down and talking through your (and the other person's) feelings on that.

Defining the relationship is just a fancy way of saying that you are letting the other person in on how you feel about things and where you would like to see the relationship go.

 

[Out of the Flames]

I have heard a lot about this DTR [defining the relantionship] with a person and I was wondering exactly what is it & what does it entail?

Ah...the make it or break it acronym for many a relationship...

Basically that's sitting down with the other party and identifying where your particular relationship is going- friends, long term committed relationship, last resort for a date, etc...

Usually it entails much discomfort on the part of both parties because it's a conversation had too early, too often.

 

[_sunshinegirl]

Darn wording made me think it was something new and hip!
Thank you.

 

[_sunshinegirl]

Usually it entails much discomfort on the part of both parties because it's a conversation had too early, too often.

Noted ... do not have DTR conversation with *future* match if not needed, or to early.

 

[wvmtnkid]

lol! I was going to add in my post that it was probably on the list of the three most dreaded words heard too early in a relationship!

 

[_sunshinegirl]

.. I thought 'i love you' was?

 

[wvmtnkid]

Those are the other ones on the list!

 

[Out of the Flames]

Oh, and planning the wedding a month into the relationship is generally a no-no. So is prenaming your non-existent children and planning the honeymoon. While you're taking notes, write that down.

 

[Mr Morning]

Oh, and planning the wedding a month into the relationship is generally a no-no. So is prenaming your non-existent children and planning the honeymoon. While you're taking notes, write that down.

So I guess that means planning on what retirement home you're going to live together in is out of the question as well, eh?

 

[Out of the Flames]

Heh, I'd argue that if you do it right, you'll be able to live with your non-existent kiddies.

 

[_sunshinegirl]

Good thing I already know all that stuff.
No need to plan it with a man!

 

[invisiblebabe]

Hahahaha, at my ex-university, a bunch of guys in my fellowship got together and made a parody boy band called Guard Your Heart (as in, girls would have to be extra careful to guard their heart around them, cause they're just soooo cute, lol). They made up this song called "Ain't No DTR" and made fun of all that relationship lingo that seems to be so common in the Christian culture these days ("pursuing," "courtship," etc). It was hilarious I'll have to see if I still have a copy of the lyrics

 

[Stanfi]

I guess a good rule of thumb is don't ever treat anyone's heart like it is disposable. It is valuable and should be handled with care.

 

[Tuffguy]

I usually wait till break up to have one of these. LOL

 

[_sunshinegirl]

I usually wait till break up to have one of these. LOL

So you wait until you break up to define 'what' was done wrong and what 'could' have been better?

Ahhh.

You sound like a man.

 

[Out of the Flames]

So you wait until you break up to define 'what' was done wrong and what 'could' have been better?

Ahhh.

You sound like a man.

Yes, but he's an honest man and those are becoming quite rare.