Drinking and an issue of pride

Alpine · Nov 22, 2008

nephilimiyr said:
For a guy living in Milwaukee I can see why you often have to explain yourself.

I've had people refuse to be around me when they found out. Some people take it very personally.

The Princess Bride · Nov 23, 2008

I think a lot of it depends on your motives.

Are you NOT drinking because you have a smug satisfaction in it, or are you doing it because God convicted you that for your witness it is not acceptable?

Also, never say "never" to God....right now not drinking may be part of your witness and testimony, just don't ever hesistate to go into a bar and have a beer if it gives you the opportunity to share the gospel.

Alpine · Nov 23, 2008

The Princess Bride said:
I think a lot of it depends on your motives.

Are you NOT drinking because you have a smug satisfaction in it, or are you doing it because God convicted you that for your witness it is not acceptable?

As I've explained a few times, it's neither. It was a choice I made that the negatives far outweigh the positives.

Faulty · Nov 23, 2008

I really don't see what the big deal is. If you want to have a drink, then have one. If you don't, then don't.

I'm a little curious as to what even prompted you to post the question.

Cassidy · Nov 23, 2008

He was feeling 'pride' and was concerned that him 'not drinking' was the reason he was starting to look down on others who do. That's why he posted the question.

Alpine · Nov 23, 2008

yeah, exactly...i feel pride about it, so, maybe if i drank...it'd erase the pride?

Cassidy · Nov 23, 2008

Well Alpine I dont' think you should drink I think that the pride problem can be fixed through Christ. As I said before, juse lean on him for your guidance in this.

The Princess Bride · Nov 23, 2008

Alpine said:
yeah, exactly...i feel pride about it, so, maybe if i drank...it'd erase the pride?

Not all forms of pride is wrong.

You can take pride in knowing you are a good artist, or a talented dancer, or great cook....why can't you take pride in never having drank?

JimB · Nov 23, 2008

Self-confidence and pride are not the same. Pride, IMO, is an excessively overblown opinion of oneself; unreasonable and inordinate self-esteem; proud or disdainful behavior or treatment; insolence or arrogance of demeanor; haughty bearing and conduct; insolent exultation; disdain; conceit; egotism; narcissism; pretension. vanity.

Self-confidence and self-respect may be called pride but it is not the same as the above.

~Jim

People don’t fail; they just give up trying.

Alpine · Nov 24, 2008

hmm..interesting, maybe what I feel isn't pride, but something else

BenAdam · Nov 24, 2008

Izdaari said:
Just so. A local church (Lutheran/Episcopal - yes, they're affiliated with both) has something they call Theology Pub, basically a small group meeting where they gather at a tavern and talk theology over pints. I haven't been to that yet, but it sounds great to me.

That is enough to make me an Episcopalian.

BenAdam · Nov 24, 2008

Alpine said:
I've had people refuse to be around me when they found out. Some people take it very personally.

I have heard the same thing about sheep and wyoming.

Tamara224 · Nov 24, 2008

BenAdam said:
I have heard the same thing about sheep and wyoming.

Oh no you didn't!

BenAdam · Nov 24, 2008

Tamara224 said:
Oh no you didn't!

and I thought it would be at least 6 hours for this response...

Catherineanne · Nov 24, 2008

Alpine said:
I'm 33 and I've never had a drink of alcohol. In social situations, this often makes me stand out as weird. I typically have to explain my reasons; I don't want to become an alcoholic and my grandfather drunk himself to death.

When someone who is not an alcoholic has to deal with a family member who is, very often the only thing they can do is choose to be teetotal themselves. I did this myself, many years ago. My ex's drinking was way out of control, so I gave up alcohol completely for about seven years or so.

The problem is, this non drinking is not a choice, it is a reaction. It means that your life is controlled by alcoholism, just as your grandfather's was. This is nothing to do with piety.

The day you are free to have one drink, quietly and with friends, safe in the knowledge that you are not your grandfather, is the day you will truly be free from him, and his devastating effect on you.

I drink with my daughter, who is still a teenager. We buy a half bottle of wine, and share it with a meal, usually on a Friday night. I still dilute mine with water. In this way she learns that she is in control, and that drinking in moderation is part of life, and a healthy thing to do. We do this maybe two or three times a year, no more. She hates immoderate drinking, and every time she sees adverts for wine or beer on the television, she says 'b****y alcoholics!' She has a lot of anger against her dad, but no fear of becoming an alcoholic herself.

What is not healthy is to follow the perfectionist line, in anything, imo. I think I would recommend the next time your wife has a drink, you take one tiny sip, swear roundly at your grandfather, and then forget about the whole issue.

I wish you well, and I am not at all surprised that you have had to follow this path, to find your own identity.

Prizm · Nov 24, 2008

Alpine said:
hmm..interesting, maybe what I feel isn't pride, but something else

Maybe it's simply peer pressure.

msbojingles · Nov 24, 2008

Tamara224 said:
Oh no you didn't!

You know what "they" say: "Wyoming: where men are men. . . and sheep are scared"

Cassidy · Nov 24, 2008

The problem is, this non drinking is not a choice, it is a reaction. It means that your life is controlled by alcoholism, just as your grandfather's was. This is nothing to do with piety.

Wow that's an interesting way of looking at it!

Alpine · Nov 24, 2008

msbojingles said:
You know what "they" say: "Wyoming: where men are men. . . and sheep are scared"

What are the sheep terrified of?

7
7
7
7
7

Catherineanne · Nov 25, 2008

Cassidy said:
Wow that's an interesting way of looking at it!

Been there, got the tshirt.

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