has anyone hired a doula to help with childbirth. My first childbirthing experience was not that great. I had my mom and husband there but they didn't do a good job at relaxing me and I don't do a good job at relaxing myself. I found a doula that is certified in massage as well. Doesn't that sound like such a great thing?? I am just worried that my poor husband will feel useless. If you had a doula, how did you make your husband feel that he was still helping?
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Doula??
- Thread starter nateboy
- Start date
Kazamataz
Well-Known Member
- Dec 1, 2006
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I didn't have a Doula but i did have my mum and my husband there.
So much was going on and because it was such a long labour neither of them felt useless because they could take turns in helping me.
My husband concentrated on doing things like praying or reading the bible allowed to me. He also did all the talking to the doctors and nurse's for me.
(I told him everything i wanted before i went into labour so he was able to advise them of what i had asked for. He also checked with me before any decisions were made like giving me the gas.)
While my mum held my hand and rubbed my back etc.
I guess if your husbands not real good with the relaxing part, he might be able to do more practical things like get you water or food, pray for you, read the bible, talk to the doctors and nurse's for you.
With my hubby the fact that he had "jobs" made him much more relaxed about the whole thing.
So much was going on and because it was such a long labour neither of them felt useless because they could take turns in helping me.
My husband concentrated on doing things like praying or reading the bible allowed to me. He also did all the talking to the doctors and nurse's for me.
(I told him everything i wanted before i went into labour so he was able to advise them of what i had asked for. He also checked with me before any decisions were made like giving me the gas.)
While my mum held my hand and rubbed my back etc.
I guess if your husbands not real good with the relaxing part, he might be able to do more practical things like get you water or food, pray for you, read the bible, talk to the doctors and nurse's for you.
With my hubby the fact that he had "jobs" made him much more relaxed about the whole thing.
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gracepaints
Guest
I'm having a doula at our child's birth. I asked my husband what he thought of this and he said he's not a expert in childbirth support and he's be glad to have someone there who is. The c-sec, epidural and episiotomy rates go WAY down with a doula. I also feel like this frees my husband up to be in the experience with me, rather than having the "job" of supporting me.
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ksdedee74
Senior Member
I had a doula with my first and midwives since, If I had to go back to a doctor I would definatly get a doula agian. They are so great. They are trained to help you and dh. My dh forgets everything everytime about helping me relax and such. The doula like the PP said is an expert and can help. I also find it nice that they can explain things that are going on and help your dh not get lost. Lastly a doula can help you and your dh keep focused on your goals. I have been to multiple births with friends of mine. and so many times I have seen well meaning dh's and mom and dads. Unitentionally push for thigs that the birthing mother didn't want because of the fact the hate to see thier loved one in pain. It is not usually done out of meanness, just fear and love. A doula can help you through those rough times and help you without thier deep protective love getting in the way. I hope that doesn't sound bad. But they have been through on a regular basis and help you make informed logical desisions during labor instead of just emotional ones. And they can help you family see that your not in labor desires are first. Because believe me emotions go all over the place during labor.
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