Doomed in Washington state

SteelDisciple · Sep 30, 2005

My wife and I lately feel like we are DOOMED to never make local friends. We've been to more churches than we care to count and heck, I've even been really active in a few churches and still never made any friends...we've each known one or two people we say hi to, but nothing ever comes of it.

We can never find people we truely CLICK with...we meet alot who are very reserved and have little to no hobbies and nothing to talk about it...or whatever..just no one we feel we click with. We recently made a few people we hoped would be friends but it turns out it just didn't happen...there wasn't a connection. It'd be nice to meet christian friends we have things in common with outside of church. (believe it or not..just because two people are christian DOESN'T mean they are going to be the best of buddies

Are we alone here? Does anyone else have this problem?

5stringJeff · Sep 30, 2005

Where in WA? I live in Puyallup, and our church is quite friendly. But I know the deal - a lot of people act friendly at church because they think they ought to, but they don't really want to be friends.

SteelDisciple · Sep 30, 2005

gopjeff said:
Where in WA? I live in Puyallup, and our church is quite friendly. But I know the deal - a lot of people act friendly at church because they think they ought to, but they don't really want to be friends.

We are in North Bend, WA. Close to Bellevue. Way too far from Puyallup

5stringJeff · Sep 30, 2005

North Bend - been there a few times, usually in passing (going over the pass).

doglover · Oct 1, 2005

Been there, done that. Basically I'm still there. I go to a church that's very small. Average sunday service maybe 25 people. No sunday school, nothing. The people are nice, but not my (or my family's) friends. I've never met a friend at church. I go to a "youth group" on Wed. nights at a different church, but it's so small that 99% of the time I'm the only "youth" there! I sit there and we do youth group with my leaders, a couple. I don't really have any friends locally. I have a VERY good friend in Wisconsin, and I just went to see her last month for the first time. I live in Oregon. My parents feel that if we move (to another place in Oregon, a bigger city) then we will find friends. I don't buy that. Yes, there are some nice people in the world, but there are also RUDE people everywhere! Our town is filled with them. And I'm sure a bigger city will be too. I'm sorry I'm so negative. I'm just discouraged about this same issue right now. Let's try to pray that God will bring you (and me! lol) friends. I don't think you're doomed necessarly in WA state. The whole WORLD is doomed!!!!
I have to say that I feel God has used the fact I have no local friends for good. I've learned a lot. I've learned to make God my best friend, and not long for other people. It can be very discouraging. I've cried about this issue over and over. I just try to remember to praise God, for He should be our Best Friend EVER!!!
Hang in there. God will be with you always.

SteelDisciple · Oct 3, 2005

See..I know God is with me where ever I go...but there is a reason God gave Adam another HUMAN for company. We as humans need fellowship. we NEED it...and unfortunetly fellowship is the one thing my wife and I never seem to find. :/ Fellowship with christian friends..going out and talking and getting close to God together...seems like that may never happen...

But maybe on here we'll meet some people from Washington we can become friends with...if there are many from washington on here...

2401 Penitent Tangent · Oct 3, 2005

There are tons of churches in washington, you should be able to a least find one. Pray to god and ask him to lead you to one. Trust in the lord and anything is possible.

SteelDisciple · Oct 4, 2005

2401 Penitent Tangent said:
There are tons of churches in washington, you should be able to a least find one. Pray to god and ask him to lead you to one. Trust in the lord and anything is possible.

Been doing that for quite literally YEARS. I've met countless people..just none we really click with...too many shallow types or people that are just the complete opposite of us that we can't click with them...

My wife and I are finding out first hand just how HARD it is to grow in Christ without that much needed close fellowship with Christian friends..

Moros · Oct 8, 2005

Olympia here. The people in this city are.. not very friendly in general.

SarahAblaze06 · Oct 9, 2005

Well, there is Church For All Nations(CFAN) in Puyallup. I've been there a few times- most of the people there are more friendly than I've found in other churches. There is often a younger crowd there as well I think, you wouldn't be 'bringing in the sheaves' with everyone over 55. LOL. Like you said, it is far form you though. You might like to try it though, they're a good contact to have I believe. Maybe someone there could point you in a closer direction- would'nt hurt to try. Hope you find somewhere soon!

SteelDisciple · Oct 10, 2005

We kind of think we'll never really have any christian friends..we've gone this long and never made any...why would it change now?

sk8Joyful · Oct 11, 2005

SteelDisciple said:
My wife and I lately feel like we are DOOMED to never make local friends.

Have you ever wondered, even a bit? how 'Jesus' dealt successfully with his isolation.

SteelDisciple said:
We've been to more churches than we care to count and heck, I've even been really active in a few churches and still never made any friends...we've each known one or two people we say hi to, but nothing ever comes of it.

Served
actively (like 110%) in my church, for 30 yrs..., and developed (made) choice friends joyfully. For all intents & purposes, i LIVED in one, or another, classes I taught covering numerous subjects.

Then, came a fateful-day.

SteelDisciple said:
We can never find people we truely CLICK with...

What kind of *specific*-connection are you seeking making, with 'Church-attendies' ?

SteelDisciple said:
We meet alot who are very 'reserved' and have little to no hobbies and nothing to talk about.

Might it be a (regrettable) mistake assuming that a 'reserved'-person,
by default has >no hobbies and nothing *worthwhile* to talk about.< ... For example,
I invite new people to reveal, verbally, their under-pinnings. - And I have loads of 'hobbies'.

SteelDisciple said:
It'd be nice to meet christian friends we have things in common with outside of church. (believe it or not..just because two people are christian DOESN'T mean they are going to be the best of buddies

ah,
1. ' best of buddies': Well, my 4 best-friends, are Jesus, myself, my Swietie, & daughter.
and
2. ' things-in-common' ?, like what? for example. yeah, I know I ask lotsa questions.

SteelDisciple said:
Are we alone here? Does anyone else have this problem?

Well,
our challenges, socially, arise...
(given that 99+% of people exist (in)side various mass-indoctrination traps (un)aware. Meaning
they are short-changing their abilities of creating Happier-outcomes for her/himself.) -
So of course, we live more 'isolated'. - That's a price we choose paying.

How much have you examined 'your own strategy'??, re: what you want?, including ' best of buddies'.
Good luck!

SteelDisciple · Oct 11, 2005

We'd like to meet some good christian friends that we get along with..as in..we can talk to them for hours (or less.) without having trouble thinking of anything to say...people we can hang out with and do things we both enjoy doing.

Yes..we've both examined our strategies...we've tried MANY different ways..from being actively involved..going to christian clubs...church events..etc..we meet plenty of people...but it seems there just isn't any sort of connection...not enough in common (ie..since we don't have enough in common there isn't a whole lot we can do together for fun)
Things like gaming, movies, going to concerts (rock..not contemporary)...those are our main hobbies...not into sports in the slightest which makes it even harder to find someone

sk8Joyful · Oct 12, 2005

SteelDisciple said:
We'd like to meet some good christian friends we can talk to them, for hours (or less.) ...people we can hang out with and do things we both enjoy doing. but it seems there just isn't any sort of connection...

Now,
how about you pretend that somebody 'else' wrote (what you did in past 10 days here). - And
*you*
observed their 1st. OP-word of 'doomed', & their 5th.-post: 'we'll never really have any
christian friends...we've gone this long and never made any ... why would it change now?'

How might you, yourself, respond?? to this person, with that problem.

And re your name of 'STEEL' :quite an appropriate name there. Steel is a 'strong' material; yet - consider carefully one of its 'relationship'-qualities being flexible.

As *you* are living more *FLEXIBLY*, how will (it = yourfriendships) change now?

SteelDisciple said:
since we don't have enough in common there isn't a whole lot we can do together for fun)
Things like gaming, movies, going to concerts (rock..not contemporary)...those are our main hobbies...

Well, you're quite right there:
most of our 'Christian'-friends are not into video-gaming, & rock-concerts.
AND if those 3-interests are mainly whats kept you going, have you any idea how you've limited yourself, as far as your own capacity for fun.

(Like I have little challenges making new friends as I have, intentionally, chosen to experience/Learn at least 5 FUN things every day, I can share with others. Skills like,
how to:
build a Log-home, for starters. (+sew clothes,+grow food).
communicate in over 6 languages. teach CPR, and 1st.-Aid.,
teach others to *Own-self-healing*, etc. etc.- for ever
lead others in music; & raise/unschool children successfully)

so, for a greater chance of Relationship-success(es), how about
you *Flexibl y choose developing increasingly more VARIEDfun-interests*.
Have FUN !! exploring what such might be for you...

SteelDisciple said:
not into sports in the slightest which makes it even harder to find someone

Again, entirely *your choice*, as well. -

(our own mutual-passion of 'pairs-figureskating' brought my Swietie & I together; and
Yes, we are friends with numerous Christians who as well we practice with thru-out the week. And
we can't wait for the day the 2-of-us can perform Synergy-on-ice).
~~
wow!! ~ i just realized: this post is my '500'th, meaning i'm now a 'senior' CF-member, hehehe.
well, enough of us ...
~~

How much FUN you gonna choose enjoying in your Christian friendships, now??

LilyRose · Oct 23, 2005

We are here in Yelm ... we went to Montana and were in a church way out in the middle of no where and met some folks who have a church here ... actually in Rainier... It's not like regular church... you know 2 fast songs ... a slow song... an offering.... a boring sermon.... a fast song and lunch...

The are some of the most prayingest people I have ever met... GOD can lead you to a place...

SteelDisciple · Nov 7, 2005

see now...those suggestions..just didn't sound fun to me. My wife and I are more indoors type people. We just don't haveany interest in outdoor activities aside from going for walks. I can't force myself to like something...because then it's not really me..i'm just doing that because someone else likes it..even if it bores me to death.

RThor · Nov 14, 2005

Tacoma, here...It is the weather.... At least this time of year it is... The excuse... North Bend...Hang for awhile that small town clossness will come. Untill the share your hobbies and intrest with others.

sk8Joyful · Nov 14, 2005

SteelDisciple said:
see now...those suggestions..just didn't sound fun to me. My wife and I are
more indoors type people. We just don't have any interest in outdoor activities aside from going for walks. I can't force myself to like something...because then it's not really me..i'm just doing that because someone else likes it..even if it bores me to death.

Well,
from the few activities I've shared, 'Log-home bldg' is the only-Outdoorsy one... the rest are
all indoors.- But never mind us.

The only-point to that is: How about *you continue Growing & developing* FUN -skills, hobbies... & DIVERSify
~~

But a strange condition afflicts some people: for every *1 positive idea, or suggestion* offered, - quite a number will fire back '2 yes butts'<--- Know any folks like that, Steel?
And
usually it's best to just find something more happily successful to get involved with...

I do wish you, & your family, the very BEST!

~ Annie

GasTank · May 17, 2006

We "home church" as people might call it. I hate the name "home church". But anyway we gather on thrusday nights and sunday mornings at different peoples houses. Usually around the Everett, Snohomish, Monroe area. Very encouraging group, about 8-10 families, which is about 50-60 people. Really encouraging group.

billwald · May 18, 2006

You didn't have this problem in your previous location?

Consider all the churches you have visited. Which one can make the best use of your time and talents?

Doomed in Washington state

Veteran

Well-Known Member

Veteran

Well-Known Member

Serving my Prince

Veteran

Active Member

Veteran

Well-Known Member

SarahAblaze06

Guest

Veteran

Well-Known Member

Veteran

Well-Known Member

Member

Veteran

Active Member

Well-Known Member

On The Path----And Still Truckin'!

Contributor

Similar threads

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency