Don't Want Kids

For me, it's the same. If I have, I will love them and try my best to educate them to be good people and servants of God. If not, it's fine for me. Before, I wanted to, but of course as I have matured and seen how this world is operating, raising kids could represent risks that only if God has made feel I can get through them, then I would have them, if I ever marry, that is, first.

People have to aware that raising kids today is not going to be easy. Some people want kids thinking only in the baby stage which lasts only 1-2 years. After 5 years it really the interesting part of raising kids begins, and at 12 years it only "gets better".

I don't want any, my fiance doesn't want any. Is that wrong? I don't know, but it's reality.

I don't feel like I have the motherly instinct either. I grew up the oldest of 4 kids, 2 being much, much younger, so I was always doing diapers and baby food and stuff. No thanks. I do have a nurturing instinct....for animals. But every time I see a mom grocery shopping with 4 screaming kiddos or a soccer mom in a track suit chauffeuring her kids places all day long in a minivan my mind screams "Noooooooo!" At work every other woman my age is expecting, walking around glowing and rubbing their big bellies and talking names and baby clothes and I can't help but think they are all out of their minds. When they ask what my baby plans are, I'm sure they think the same about me.

And as a side note....sorry, but I don't want to hold your baby. It's cute and all, but I can't stand having something clinging to me like Velcro. Why doesn't it bother me when my parrot does it? Can't answer that. I also don't want to see 11 pictures of it in different poses. Or here about how it ate its first piece of solid food that day.

I feel like I can't even handle my hectic life as it is. Once I have more time finally, there's a million things we want to do and none of them involve children.

Lately if a toddler trips and falls I find myself kneeling down to see if they are ok and giving them a hand up before I even realize what I'm doing. That scares me. But I think its not because it's a kid; I'd do that for anyone. I also like the idea of adopting..maybe not on purpose, but if some kids found themselves in need of a home and I had a few extra bedrooms I don't know that I could say no to that. You know those adoption websites are just like petfinder.com....names and photos and descriptions just like pets...only for a 5 year-old boy for example! BREAKS MY HEART. Maybe it's just having the baby that puts me off....but taking care of a needy kid doesn't.

The only other reason I can see us changing our minds is that there are a lot of really, really dumb people having kids. People I wouldn't leave my dog with for a weekend....that sort of thing. It seems like they are the ones having lots of kids. So eventually the world might be full of really unfortunate people. My mom made the point that if I don't have any kids, how can I ensure there are at least a few decent human beings here after I'm gone? Good point, Mom.

VictoriasImage77 said:

I don't want any, my fiance doesn't want any. Is that wrong? I don't know, but it's reality.

......But every time I see a mom grocery shopping with 4 screaming kiddos or a soccer mom in a track suit chauffeuring her kids places all day long in a minivan my mind screams "Noooooooo!" At work every other woman my age is expecting, walking around glowing and rubbing their big bellies and talking names and baby clothes and I can't help but think they are all out of their minds. When they ask what my baby plans are, I'm sure they think the same about me.

.....

I feel like I can't even handle my hectic life as it is. Once I have more time finally, there's a million things we want to do and none of them involve children.

Lately if a toddler trips and falls I find myself kneeling down to see if they are ok and giving them a hand up before I even realize what I'm doing. That scares me. But I think its not because it's a kid; I'd do that for anyone. I also like the idea of adopting..maybe not on purpose, but if some kids found themselves in need of a home and I had a few extra bedrooms I don't know that I could say no to that. You know those adoption websites are just like petfinder.com....names and photos and descriptions just like pets...only for a 5 year-old boy for example! BREAKS MY HEART. Maybe it's just having the baby that puts me off....but taking care of a needy kid doesn't.

The only other reason I can see us changing our minds is that there are a lot of really, really dumb people having kids. People I wouldn't leave my dog with for a weekend....that sort of thing. It seems like they are the ones having lots of kids. So eventually the world might be full of really unfortunate people. My mom made the point that if I don't have any kids, how can I ensure there are at least a few decent human beings here after I'm gone? Good point, Mom.

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HAHAHA...you nearly took my thoughts right out of my own head! I feel the same way No, it's not wrong to NOT want to have children. I just had to say...I guess great minds DO think alike! lol

Ok obviously this was posted a LONG time ago, but I still want to answer it. I don't want kids. I've never wanted them and the older I get, the more I don't want them. I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting them. I have the UTMOST respect for mothers and obviously motherhood is a calling for MANY, but its not my calling and its not for me. I certainly want to be married and think I will make a very loving wife, but I know that I would be a terrible mother and I think it would be terrible for me to bring a child into the world- that wouldn't be fair to anyone.

soccrchick5 said:

Is there anyone else that doesn't want children..ever? Is that wrong? I don't think it is, but I would love to hear other opinions.

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May I ask then, why get married? What did God create male and female for? Just to burn on each other? Though I disagree with the Catholics on just about everything, this issue I do agree on. Marriage was created by God to bring forth life. To go into a marriage and take your enjoyment from each other and do everything you can to prevent bringing forth life, by my own conviction, I believe to be a sin. I know that there are very very few who agree with me on that idea but that is where my conviction lies. If you don't want to have the chance of having kids, then don't get married at all. Not only is that playing God but it's also twisting God's intention on what male and female are and what being married is all about! 'God said to the man and his wife, 'Be fruitful and multiply!' That was an order to a man and his wife. True, some can't naturally and that is a total different issue!

TanteBelle said:

May I ask then, why get married? What did God create male and female for? Just to burn on each other? Though I disagree with the Catholics on just about everything, this issue I do agree on. Marriage was created by God to bring forth life. To go into a marriage and take your enjoyment from each other and do everything you can to prevent bringing forth life, by my own conviction, I believe to be a sin. I know that there are very very few who agree with me on that idea but that is where my conviction lies. If you don't want to have the chance of having kids, then don't get married at all. Not only is that playing God but it's also twisting God's intention on what male and female are and what being married is all about! 'God said to the man and his wife, 'Be fruitful and multiply!' That was an order to a man and his wife. True, some can't naturally and that is a total different issue!

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See, while I respectfully disagree, I don't think anything you said is fair at all. What about the infertile people who can't have kids? Don't they deserve to have love and companionship? Marriage is NOT just about having kids, and kids actually ruin what would've been really wonderful marriages. And kids are not the most important thing in a marriage. First, God is. And secondly, your spouse is. And if anything is out of that order, the marriage is most likely to severely suffer- especially if kids are put before the marriage. Some people know they would be horrible parents (like me) and I don't think its fair that people like us should even bring a child into the world in the first place- that would be cruel to the child. And marriage isn't about taking your joy selfishly from your spouse- its about giving sacrificially to your spouse- about laying your life down for your spouse on a daily basis and leading them into a closer relationship with the Lord and sharing the Lord together and serving Him together. If that's by having kids, great, I'm not telling you not to. But I think people who don't want to have kids should still be married- MOST of us have a God-given desire, a deep desire to be married, and some of us CANNOT have kids and I don't think that should be punished. Sure, God said be fruitful and multiply and lots of people do and that's great, but He also said that it is better for man not to be alone. Sex is not just for having kids- its to make God more deeply known, its for worshiping God and being as close to your spouse as you possible can. Now, obviously I have no idea what I'm talking about because I've never had sex and I've never been married. But oh my gosh, I deeply desire to be married and can only hope and pray that the man God has for me doesn't want kids either. I want to share everything I am with my future husband and draw closer to Jesus every day with him, but I don't think that means I am doomed to have children. While I greatly respect parents and what they put up with and what they go through and what they do- and I mean that- I GREATLY respect that, having children is a calling and its not everyone's calling.

I'm in my thirties, never even really had a boyfriend, so it seems unlikely that marriage will ever happen in my life.

I would only give having kids a serious consideration within the context of marriage...

However, I have at times wondered about adoption, but it would seem really risky to me to adopt as a single parent.

Blueflamingos said:

See, while I respectfully disagree, I don't think anything you said is fair at all. What about the infertile people who can't have kids? Don't they deserve to have love and companionship? Marriage is NOT just about having kids, and kids actually ruin what would've been really wonderful marriages. And kids are not the most important thing in a marriage. First, God is. And secondly, your spouse is. And if anything is out of that order, the marriage is most likely to severely suffer- especially if kids are put before the marriage. Some people know they would be horrible parents (like me) and I don't think its fair that people like us should even bring a child into the world in the first place- that would be cruel to the child. And marriage isn't about taking your joy selfishly from your spouse- its about giving sacrificially to your spouse- about laying your life down for your spouse on a daily basis and leading them into a closer relationship with the Lord and sharing the Lord together and serving Him together. If that's by having kids, great, I'm not telling you not to. But I think people who don't want to have kids should still be married- MOST of us have a God-given desire, a deep desire to be married, and some of us CANNOT have kids and I don't think that should be punished. Sure, God said be fruitful and multiply and lots of people do and that's great, but He also said that it is better for man not to be alone. Sex is not just for having kids- its to make God more deeply known, its for worshiping God and being as close to your spouse as you possible can. Now, obviously I have no idea what I'm talking about because I've never had sex and I've never been married. But oh my gosh, I deeply desire to be married and can only hope and pray that the man God has for me doesn't want kids either. I want to share everything I am with my future husband and draw closer to Jesus every day with him, but I don't think that means I am doomed to have children. While I greatly respect parents and what they put up with and what they go through and what they do- and I mean that- I GREATLY respect that, having children is a calling and its not everyone's calling.

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A gentle reminder, ma'am, you missed my last comment. Such people are an entirely different issue altogether. Abraham and Sarah couldn't have kids for 90 years .......... but it's not that they didn't want to, it was that God was only going to give it to them once they'd entered into covenant with Him. Such things are entirely different and at the end of the day, they can adopt or they can find out what it is exactly that God is trying to teach them.

Very true, marriage is not all about having kids ........ but that's the reason for the male and female being so specific and why homosexuality is so abominable to God; it's a perversion of that which brings forth life. Life can not come from that. God created it male and female for a very specific reason; the bringing forth of new life.Which is why He's also agasint sodomy and anything else that is a perversion of that which brings forth life. It's selfish in that you are doing everything you can to prevent yourself from having a child. If you do happen to get preggie, what then?

I have to disagree with your statement 'kids ruin a wonderful marriage'. No they don't. Parents set the attitude in the household and it's a fact that kids mirror their parents in attitude and behaviour. Unless the kid is demon possessed, the problem is not with the kid.

Very true, God does come first in a marrige; God comes first in everything. That's how it balances everything out. But if you're a terrible mother now, why not learn how to be a good one? It's merely a habit; a missing of information to improve the skills. It's not something that can't be fixed. There are many people whom would've made terrible mothers but they chose to learn how to be a good one and they were excellent!

Having children is a calling??? It seems then that every God fearing woman in the Bible must've been 'called'! Nowhere in scripture is having kids a 'calling'. Being married is a 'calling' but it's assumed that being married also means having kids. There's not 1 God-fearing woman in the Bible who remained childless her entire life. She may have been barren for along time and she cried unto God and He heard her. But unless she was a widow and never remarried and had never had kids in her marriage, every God-fearing, married woman in the Bible had kids. May I be so bold as to say that being barren is not a blessing from God; it means that there's something God's trying to tell you. I trust my Bible and God promised that if we followed His commandments, He wouldn't put any disease upon His people. So far, I've only come across 5 reasons why we have diseases. It's up to us to seek God on which one He's trying to tell us. But those in the Bible knew that barrenness was not a blessing by God.

And before you jump up and down about my last statement; I have a condition and if my guess as to what it is is correct, I could very well find myself barren! That's a huge nightmare to carry for someone who just adores kids!!! But I'm resting on what God said and trying to find what it is that He's trying to tell me and He's already made a promise to me and I'm sticking by it!

I think it's sad that you don't want to have children. I see that as the best way to leave a positive impression in the world and to ensure that your values continue after you die. However, I don't think it's wrong that you don't want to.

TanteBelle said:

May I ask then, why get married? What did God create male and female for? Just to burn on each other? Though I disagree with the Catholics on just about everything, this issue I do agree on. Marriage was created by God to bring forth life. To go into a marriage and take your enjoyment from each other and do everything you can to prevent bringing forth life, by my own conviction, I believe to be a sin. I know that there are very very few who agree with me on that idea but that is where my conviction lies. If you don't want to have the chance of having kids, then don't get married at all. Not only is that playing God but it's also twisting God's intention on what male and female are and what being married is all about! 'God said to the man and his wife, 'Be fruitful and multiply!' That was an order to a man and his wife. True, some can't naturally and that is a total different issue!

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Actually, marriage was created by God because ""It is not good for the man to be alone" so He made "him a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2.18. Having children was an after thought. He created a wife for Adam so he would have companionship. If the purpose of marriage was to create children, wouldn't He had said something along the lines of "I will make him a helper to have children with?" Also, the be fruitful and multiply thing? You realize that when He spoke that to Adam and Eve there were 2 people on the earth and not 6 BILLION, right? And its all about context. Was God speaking to every single human being or was He talking to two specific people? I believe the latter.

Every God fearing woman in the Bible had kids? The problem with this statement is not every God-fearing woman is mentioned in the Bible. If they were, then there were only a dozen or so God-fearing woman in Biblical times and I have a really hard time believing that. Also, the women who are mentioned, not all of their stories were recorded because they wanted children. Ruth's story was about unconditional love and faithfulness to family and God, not about having kids. Ester's story was about doing what was right in the face of death and following God. The fact that they had children has nothing to do with why their stories were written.

The truth of the matter is that there are people who should not have kids. Period. My parents were such people. By the grace of God I was raised by my wonderful grandparents, but I don't know if I would even have been here if my parents had raised me.

What it comes down to is this issue is between a husband, a wife and God and no one else. While God does speak to us through His word, we must never forget that He speaks directly to us as well.

TanteBelle said:

A gentle reminder, ma'am, you missed my last comment. Such people are an entirely different issue altogether. Abraham and Sarah couldn't have kids for 90 years .......... but it's not that they didn't want to, it was that God was only going to give it to them once they'd entered into covenant with Him. Such things are entirely different and at the end of the day, they can adopt or they can find out what it is exactly that God is trying to teach them.

Very true, marriage is not all about having kids ........ but that's the reason for the male and female being so specific and why homosexuality is so abominable to God; it's a perversion of that which brings forth life. Life can not come from that. God created it male and female for a very specific reason; the bringing forth of new life.Which is why He's also agasint sodomy and anything else that is a perversion of that which brings forth life. It's selfish in that you are doing everything you can to prevent yourself from having a child. If you do happen to get preggie, what then?

I have to disagree with your statement 'kids ruin a wonderful marriage'. No they don't. Parents set the attitude in the household and it's a fact that kids mirror their parents in attitude and behaviour. Unless the kid is demon possessed, the problem is not with the kid.

Very true, God does come first in a marrige; God comes first in everything. That's how it balances everything out. But if you're a terrible mother now, why not learn how to be a good one? It's merely a habit; a missing of information to improve the skills. It's not something that can't be fixed. There are many people whom would've made terrible mothers but they chose to learn how to be a good one and they were excellent!

Having children is a calling??? It seems then that every God fearing woman in the Bible must've been 'called'! Nowhere in scripture is having kids a 'calling'. Being married is a 'calling' but it's assumed that being married also means having kids. There's not 1 God-fearing woman in the Bible who remained childless her entire life. She may have been barren for along time and she cried unto God and He heard her. But unless she was a widow and never remarried and had never had kids in her marriage, every God-fearing, married woman in the Bible had kids. May I be so bold as to say that being barren is not a blessing from God; it means that there's something God's trying to tell you. I trust my Bible and God promised that if we followed His commandments, He wouldn't put any disease upon His people. So far, I've only come across 5 reasons why we have diseases. It's up to us to seek God on which one He's trying to tell us. But those in the Bible knew that barrenness was not a blessing by God.

And before you jump up and down about my last statement; I have a condition and if my guess as to what it is is correct, I could very well find myself barren! That's a huge nightmare to carry for someone who just adores kids!!! But I'm resting on what God said and trying to find what it is that He's trying to tell me and He's already made a promise to me and I'm sticking by it!

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You're welcome to disagree with me all you want, but just as you're sticking to your convictions, I'm sticking to mine. And just because you think that following God and all of His commandments equals all of His blessings and a great and perfect life (which is what I gather from all that you said), you're totally wrong. My mom's best friend wanted kids more than anything in the world- not more than God Himself, but more than anything. She is the most God-fearing, Godly, humble, amazing Christian woman you could ever meet in your life....and to this day at 45, she has never been able to have kids and never will be able to have them. And its not because she's done something wrong and is being cursed by Him like you implied.

And just because I think that being barren would be a blessing, doesn't mean you're not free to disagree with me. You're more than free to think that having kids is great and since you want them, I wish you all the kids in the world. But why jump down my throat and imply that I'm not a God-fearing woman just because I don't want them? And no, a marriage (which is an implied calling) does not ALWAYS equal kids- it just doesn't. And there's nothing wrong with that. And "God promised He wouldn't put diseases on His people if they followed His commandments?" God also promised that we would suffer in this life because Christ suffered. And barrenness to a woman who wants kids is suffering, singleness to someone who longs to be married is suffering, diseases like cancer and every other fatal disease are suffering, and Paul suffered more than anyone who ever lived besides Jesus Himself. From what you said, you are implying that is was because Paul was disobedient to God and that is why he was dealt all the blows he was in his lifetime. Really? I don't agree with that at all.

Kids are not the be all, end all of life. What about someone who deeply longs to be married and share all the love in their heart with a life companion who WANTS TO SERVE GOD with everything they are and being tied down to kids would completely prevent them from doing such a thing? I don't think its up to you to condemn the people who don't want them. I'm not judging or condemning you for wanting them so badly (which is something I completely don't understand, but fully respect), so just because I've stated my opinions, convictions, and desires, doesn't mean that that's an invitation for someone with different opinions on the whole kid thing to trample over me and suggest that I'm not a Godly woman.

And if I ever found out that I had a condition like you (if your condition is indeed what you think it might be), I'd thank God and praise Him for giving me such a gift. I'd thank Him and praise Him anyway, regardless...but if He gifted me with biological impossibility of having kids, I'd be grateful. I sincerely hope that's not the case for you since you want them so bad. I hope you have as many kids as you want.

Cynthia85 said:

Actually, marriage was created by God because ""It is not good for the man to be alone" so He made "him a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2.18. Having children was an after thought. He created a wife for Adam so he would have companionship. If the purpose of marriage was to create children, wouldn't He had said something along the lines of "I will make him a helper to have children with?" Also, the be fruitful and multiply thing? You realize that when He spoke that to Adam and Eve there were 2 people on the earth and not 6 BILLION, right? And its all about context. Was God speaking to every single human being or was He talking to two specific people? I believe the latter.

Every God fearing woman in the Bible had kids? The problem with this statement is not every God-fearing woman is mentioned in the Bible. If they were, then there were only a dozen or so God-fearing woman in Biblical times and I have a really hard time believing that. Also, the women who are mentioned, not all of their stories were recorded because they wanted children. Ruth's story was about unconditional love and faithfulness to family and God, not about having kids. Ester's story was about doing what was right in the face of death and following God. The fact that they had children has nothing to do with why their stories were written.

The truth of the matter is that there are people who should not have kids. Period. My parents were such people. By the grace of God I was raised by my wonderful grandparents, but I don't know if I would even have been here if my parents had raised me.

What it comes down to is this issue is between a husband, a wife and God and no one else. While God does speak to us through His word, we must never forget that He speaks directly to us as well.

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Over the last 25 years; there are many more guys in the U.S. that do not want to be parents and/or not comfortable around kids. Men are told to stay away from children and that they cannot be trusted to be alone with them. So from adolescence on, many men don't tend to interact with children. So it makes sense that many of them would not want to become parents.

It doesn't help that, even putting aside pedophile paranoia, there is a legally-enforced segregation of age groups that lasts for the first 18 years of a person's life. It's called "school". The integration of age groups is essential for the normal development of children into adults, and adults into mentors. And our society has done its best to prevent that from happening.

MacFall said:

It doesn't help that, even putting aside pedophile paranoia, there is a legally-enforced segregation of age groups that lasts for the first 18 years of a person's life. It's called "school". The integration of age groups is essential for the normal development of children into adults, and adults into mentors. And our society has done its best to prevent that from happening.

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Indeed...So there are many reasons a person, especially a male, might not want children rather he is religious or not.

Cynthia85 said:

Actually, marriage was created by God because ""It is not good for the man to be alone" so He made "him a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2.18. Having children was an after thought. He created a wife for Adam so he would have companionship. If the purpose of marriage was to create children, wouldn't He had said something along the lines of "I will make him a helper to have children with?" Also, the be fruitful and multiply thing? You realize that when He spoke that to Adam and Eve there were 2 people on the earth and not 6 BILLION, right? And its all about context. Was God speaking to every single human being or was He talking to two specific people? I believe the latter.

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An afterthought? I hardly think so considering God was quite specific from the beginning that there was going to be male and female. Okay, I'm not going to debate you further on the 'latter' because it seems we're both unmoveable in our position on that one.

Every God fearing woman in the Bible had kids? The problem with this statement is not every God-fearing woman is mentioned in the Bible. If they were, then there were only a dozen or so God-fearing woman in Biblical times and I have a really hard time believing that. Also, the women who are mentioned, not all of their stories were recorded because they wanted children. Ruth's story was about unconditional love and faithfulness to family and God, not about having kids. Ester's story was about doing what was right in the face of death and following God. The fact that they had children has nothing to do with why their stories were written.

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Which is why I said, 'every God-fearing woman in the Bible'. I wasn't talking about Bible times because we don't know who existed in Bible times. We only know the ones that are mentioned in the Bible. But the fact that these women were mentioned in a nearly all-male cast, we ought to perk our heads up and try get as many lessons out of them as we can, I reckon!

Hey, totally agree with you there! They weren't mentioned 'just beacuse they had kids'!

The truth of the matter is that there are people who should not have kids. Period. My parents were such people. By the grace of God I was raised by my wonderful grandparents, but I don't know if I would even have been here if my parents had raised me.

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No offence, but this paragraph really got me. Fact; you do not tell God who are and who are not to be parents! God allowed you to be born for a darn good reason and He loved you enough to give that mercy to you! And God thought that it was good enough for your folks to be parents. Even if all they serve Him as are bad examples! If He agreed with you on that one, He wouldn't have let you be here! And it's not that you wouldn't been here if your parents raised you. You wouldn't have been here if your parents raised you because of what was within you. Hey, I was suicidal too so I know how you feel! Until I grew up and realized that it wasn't because of my parents; I had a bigger enemy to deal with than my folks! And I took that ol' devil head on! You can too! This battle isn't about flesh and blood. Let's put our focus on the real enemey out there! 'Honour your father and your mother, for this is the first commandment with promise!' Yeshua said. Now there's a challenge that we are ordered by God to do! It's unconditional there!

Blueflamingos said:

You're welcome to disagree with me all you want, but just as you're sticking to your convictions, I'm sticking to mine. And just because you think that following God and all of His commandments equals all of His blessings and a great and perfect life (which is what I gather from all that you said), you're totally wrong. My mom's best friend wanted kids more than anything in the world- not more than God Himself, but more than anything. She is the most God-fearing, Godly, humble, amazing Christian woman you could ever meet in your life....and to this day at 45, she has never been able to have kids and never will be able to have them. And its not because she's done something wrong and is being cursed by Him like you implied.

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What's in bold, no, I don't believe that at all. Life is hard. It's hard because the sin of mankind makes it hard! But do I believe that if I follow His commandments, I will get His blessings, hey, sure I do! That's what He promised and I choose to stand on those promises.

Whoa, crikey! Hold the horses there, ma'am. Forgive me if that's how you got what I said, but nowhere did I say that God gave diseases because they were a curse! I said that there are 5 reasons that I've counted up so far and not all of them are curses, by the way. It's just up to us to figure out what He's trying to say.

And just because I think that being barren would be a blessing, doesn't mean you're not free to disagree with me. You're more than free to think that having kids is great and since you want them, I wish you all the kids in the world. But why jump down my throat and imply that I'm not a God-fearing woman just because I don't want them? And no, a marriage (which is an implied calling) does not ALWAYS equal kids- it just doesn't. And there's nothing wrong with that. And "God promised He wouldn't put diseases on His people if they followed His commandments?" God also promised that we would suffer in this life because Christ suffered. And barrenness to a woman who wants kids is suffering, singleness to someone who longs to be married is suffering, diseases like cancer and every other fatal disease are suffering, and Paul suffered more than anyone who ever lived besides Jesus Himself. From what you said, you are implying that is was because Paul was disobedient to God and that is why he was dealt all the blows he was in his lifetime. Really? I don't agree with that at all.

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Again, I never said that you weren't a God-fearing woman at all. Scripture clearly tells us why Paul had his 'thorn in the flesh' and no, it wasn't because he wasn't Godly or that he was cursed. God put it there to 'buffet' his faith. Just to keep him in place. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Kids are not the be all, end all of life. What about someone who deeply longs to be married and share all the love in their heart with a life companion who WANTS TO SERVE GOD with everything they are and being tied down to kids would completely prevent them from doing such a thing? I don't think its up to you to condemn the people who don't want them. I'm not judging or condemning you for wanting them so badly (which is something I completely don't understand, but fully respect), so just because I've stated my opinions, convictions, and desires, doesn't mean that that's an invitation for someone with different opinions on the whole kid thing to trample over me and suggest that I'm not a Godly woman.

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I agree that kids aren't the be-all and end-all of life!

Okay, this one is a big issue. In Titus 2, Paul lays down what a wife's role is (there are 8 rules there) and the rest of scripture backs that one up. So, that first statement in bold, I have to say is unbiblical.

Again, forgive me that that's how it came across to you because I am in no wise implying that at all!

And if I ever found out that I had a condition like you (if your condition is indeed what you think it might be), I'd thank God and praise Him for giving me such a gift. I'd thank Him and praise Him anyway, regardless...but if He gifted me with biological impossibility of having kids, I'd be grateful. I sincerely hope that's not the case for you since you want them so bad. I hope you have as many kids as you want.

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I give thanks to God for everything I have; the good and the bad; but still do keep in mind that He's trying to tell me something and it's up to me to figure out what that is. But to be honest, your view on my condition I do find saddening.

I would like to have children, since I like being around them. And I love to watch how God made them. But first and foremost I will wait and see what God will do. Since his will is the most important thing for me.

Therefore I think the question shouldn't be if its wrong not wanting kids or not. The question should be what does God wants for us. Too often we are clinging to the things we think are best for us and don't aks God about his option. Don't forget he sees our life in the big picture and not through the fog like we do.

I hope everyone who was in here and said what they want or planing to, that they will still listen to what God says. I hope if God is starting to change your mind, that you don't refuse. Because the most important thing is to do his will, right? Not because I think you are wrong with your option (whatever your option), but because I care of what God wants. If he didn't plan children for you than thats fine. But if he does and you don't act according, what will happen?

TanteBelle said:

No offence, but this paragraph really got me. Fact; you do not tell God who are and who are not to be parents! God allowed you to be born for a darn good reason and He loved you enough to give that mercy to you! And God thought that it was good enough for your folks to be parents. Even if all they serve Him as are bad examples! If He agreed with you on that one, He wouldn't have let you be here! And it's not that you wouldn't been here if your parents raised you. You wouldn't have been here if your parents raised you because of what was within you. Hey, I was suicidal too so I know how you feel! Until I grew up and realized that it wasn't because of my parents; I had a bigger enemy to deal with than my folks! And I took that ol' devil head on! You can too! This battle isn't about flesh and blood. Let's put our focus on the real enemey out there! 'Honour your father and your mother, for this is the first commandment with promise!' Yeshua said. Now there's a challenge that we are ordered by God to do! It's unconditional there!

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My folks were good enough to be parents? My mother STARVED me when I was an infant. My grandmother would prepare the formula before she left for work and when she got home it hadn't been touched. My mother almost FROZE me when she took me out in the dead of winter with only a tshirt and a diaper on. No, missy, it has nothing to do with suicide. I wouldn't have been here because my birth parents were neglectful and they didn't take care of my physical needs as an infant. The only reason I'm alive is because at the time my parents were living my with my GRANDPARENTS and they stepped in to make sure I was healthy and happy. They were the ones who fed me and clothed me, not my parents. If they hadn't chose to do that, I would have been dead. Do you really want me to post the pictures of what I looked like as an infant?

To sit there and say that it's my fault is hurtful and ignorant. Pick up the paper or turn on the TV and you see stories of kids who were neglected, abandoned, even killed by their parents. Were these people fit to be parents? No, they weren't. I was blessed because I had amazing grandparents to care for me, but other children aren't as blessed.

I'm sick and tired of people blaming the devil for everything. In general, you seem to forget about this little human condition called "sin." You act as though it's an outside force and it's not. It's in us, it's a part of us.

"Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me." Psalms 51.5.

We're evil, nasty people because of sin. As Christians, we're redeemed by His blood and we're to fight this nature, but here's a shocker for you, NOT EVERYONE IS A CHRISTIAN. And even some who claim to be Christians aren't. Will they really follow His laws?

My entire issue with this is when people call my spirituality, my faith, and my ethics into question because I have no desire to have kids, but I do desire the companionship and love of my husband. Isn't it possible that God put that into me? Again, God speaks to us as individuals. He guides people into professions and He pushes on consciences to do or not to do something and it's possible that He's doing the same here. And no one can tell me what m convictions are because they're not me!

I think I'll answer this one in a PM, ma'am. There are some things I want to share with you.

Okay, I've sent you the PM, however I do want to say this. I'm not trying to minimize what you feel or what you went through, God forbid! I'm not trying to say that I feel worse than you do and to be honest, I'm not going to say that you feel worse than I do. To say such things are unfair, insensitive, and honestly immature. Humanity feels on the same level. It's how we're able to help one another to heal and to move on. There is no such thing as 'You don't know how I feel'! 'There is nothing new under the sun!' If you want to start raising or lowering the bar on the severity of a person's feelings, you can only do that with yourself! You can't do that with someone else. I'm simply trying to tell you that hey, I do understand! Circumstances may have been different, but I do understand. It takes courage to love when all you feel is hate. It takes courage to be happy when all you feel is hurt. Sometimes, your actions have to betray your feelings because it's the right thing to do! It may be hard but it's not impossible. It's only impossible if you allow it to be so.