there is answers to everybody's problems. somebody can help you out. firstly to SI on an impulse/obsessive desire could maybe indicate trauma or maybe for some people a brain disfunction: that would mean at least trauma in early childhood or teens which would need psychiatric/medication or religious psychiatric help - psychiatry to uncover the fault and religion to heal that fault - sorry just a laymans judgement. i have suffered a psycholigical/personality disorder and the only way out was as the above for me, just needs a brave step to admit your faults to parents then your church minister and ask for help that way......*luvs to you all*.........