Don't Know What to Do

[RayNay714]

I am having a hard time right now. I am a junior in college and I became very good friends with this girl last semester. Our close friendship developed from her hurt doe to two people in our school. I spent a lot of time letting her cry on my shoulder, and being there when they turned their backs on her. This semester I am no longer living on campus so my friend has begun to hang out with these two people again, and is even "talking" to the guy. It has been hard for me because I disapprove and feel that she is making a mistake, but I don't know how to tell her what I feel. I don't want her to hate the people, I know that it is good for her to forgive, but it hurts that I stood up for her last semester to these two people and now she doesn't have much to do with me, and is always with them. What should I do?

 

[StogusMaximus]

I think that honesty is the best policy.

Let her know your feelings and that they are not selfish but out of love an concern for her. Tell her that you care for her and miss her friendship. Pray for her and ask the God shows both you and her where He wants you to be.

 

[fieldmouse3]

Sometimes it can be hard to tell friend something that they might not want to hear. I'm a big fan of honesty, though, so if you get the chance to (calmly) tell your friend what you're thinking, I would go for it.
I also know it hurts to give your support to someone like that, and have them turn their backs on you. It's happened to me, too! I'll pray that God shows you exactly what He wants you to do about this.

 

[WhitBit]

I agree...I'm in the same position with one of my close friends - she just doesn't seem to care that her "friends" only use her and abuse her loyalty to them, and it hurts me to see her hurt.

The best thing I'd suggest is what Stogie and fm have already advised...you will gain no points by telling her what she wants to hear, and she may know the truth but needs reminding. Be a friend...and never stop praying for her!

 

[Mandy]

I agree. You need to pray about it and then discuss how you feel.

 

[Blackwing]

Be honest in a loving way, Talk to her in private and spend time with her so that she won't be on a defensive.Reconcile your differences immediately and go straight to the point with love.

 

[RayNay714]

I talked to my mom about it and she said that my opinion doesn't matter and that I just need to stay out of it. I am so confused about this! Should I say anything to her, or just let it go and not care. I want to tell her, but maybe I'm wrong.

 

[Didymus]

you can t make someone like you. People are going to believe and do what they want to. so as a mom aho has daughters your age i think you should stay back and see what happensLlet her make the first move. You can t save the world. I don t mean for this to go against your mom s aaadvice so if you feel it does ignore it

 

[RayNay714]

Actually it says what my mom believes. She says that I should just stay out of it and let my friend make her own decisions, but if she chooses to be with this guy, and make that mistake again, then I don't want to be her friend, and I don't know how to deal with that issue...

 

[OldBadfish]

RayNay, I agree with your mom

Mom Usually knows best

And it wouldn't hurt to pray about it, but from what I've heard so far I agree with your mom.

 

[amie]

...Is it possible that you are in love with this girl? because that changes all the rules my friend...Now she is JUST a friend, sure be honest with your feelings, you can't go wrong there, tell her how you feel, she deserves to know your true feelings and your true intentions...I will be praying for and with you! Good Luck

 

[RayNay714]

I'm not in love with her. :o I am a girl, and prefer guys.

I have really been praying about this situation and am seeing that God is seperating me from her, but we aren't doing it on bad terms. But her uncle just died and had to go up to PA, so please keep her in your prayers. Thanks!

RayNay

 

[amie]

oops...my bad...well then you are an awesome friend! Where were you when I was in college?? I could have used a friend like you to keep me away from several bad influences...One day, she'll treasure your friendship and if not then that is ok, we each have our own destiny. Oh how I wish I could change people's thoughts, words, actions...free will, you gotta love it... I will keep praying for her and her family, since the passing of her uncle, it must be a hard time, and it is during these times, we are most vulnerable... I know, I am there right now, my best friend in the world just dropped me like I don't matter, I fell deeply in love with him and now, he'll have nothing to do with me, somedays I wonder how I'll get through, but it is the prayers of you and all of these God sent people that are helping. You will do the right thing and time will help gain some clarity...she is lucky to have a friend like you, I could use someone who cares so much, your heart is a beautiful thing...I'll be praying, God Bless kiddo!