Hey Brinn,
Is it that you
feel "compelled" in some inexplicable way to return to the occult? Is it as if some outside "force" is making you return even though you never have the intention yourself of doing so, or does it feel more "internal", like, "Gosh, I know I shouldn't do this stuff any more, but it was so much fun or so exhilarting back when I could [insert occult practice here]?"
The way you've explained it so far tells me it's likely one (or both) of two factors at work:
1) Gen 3:6 - The "glamour" of the illusionary sense of "control" and "power" the occult offers can be a little addictive and something that is hard to reject once and for all.
Or
2)
There is a demonic spirit that you've appropriated whose job it is to try and reclaim you back from Christ until the day you literally get it off your back and send it packing (or let it force you back into the occult).
Try this...
Confession & Deliverance From Specific Occult Sins
Dear Heavenly Father, I come before You and renounce all sinful, occult practices and idolatry of seeking information, knowledge, healing, comfort, identity or power from any occult, psychic or secret source.
I renounce ever reading books about the black arts, parapsychology,
magic, satanic rituals, including the Sixth and Seventh Books of Moses, the Satanic Bible, books on false religions, and other satanic books and writings.
I renounce all sins of divination, including:
palm reading, fortune telling,
tarot card reading, tea leaf reading, the crystal ball or crystal gazing,
candle gazing, Ouija Board, ESP, telepathy, horoscopes, automatic hand writing or spirit writing,
astrology, water divining,
the rod and pendulum.
I renounce trance channeling,
consulting familiar spirits, clairvoyance, communication with the dead,
séances, consulting counselors from the spirit realm, consulting wizards, ascended masters,
spirit guides, wise masters, fortune tellers,
witches, shamans, mediums or spiritists.
I renounce all demonic, occult or
psychic healing practices, including pow-wow healing, charming to heal, pendulum healing,
magic healing,
psychic healing, magnetism or Mesmerism.
I renounce all use of occult power, casting spells or
witchcraft, voodoo, black and
white magic, Santeria and other forms of local witchcraft.
I renounce magical or occult hypnosis,
metaphysics or mind science,
yoga, transcendental meditation, sorcery,
astral projection and
soul travel, table lifting or levitation,
using pyramid power,
mind control or mind manipulation, amulets and charms, power crystals and religious medals. I renounce heavy metal music, satanic rock and black rock, watching occult movies and all demonic role-play games, such as Dungeons and Dragons.
I renounce all secret oaths to
pagan gods as part of initiation ceremony into organization, fraternities, sororities and other organization, which practice these ceremonies.
I renounce being involved in or in contact with secret lodges or societies such as Freemasonry and their organizations, the Eastern Star, Rosicrucians, Edgar Cayce's teachings and readings, Erhard Seminars Training (EST),
Scientology, Eastern mysticism, Spiritism, Christian Science, Jehovah's Witness, Mormonism,
Unitarians, The Way, Unification Church, Armstrongism, Worldwide Church of God, Philadelphia Church of God, the New Age and its practices or any religion or organization of an occult nature.
I renounce and repent of ever taking part in any of these practices or organizations. I ask You Father, to forgive and restore me, in Jesus' name. Amen.
http://home.mchsi.com/~ftio/warfare-prayers.htm#specificoccult
It isn't "magic", but try it and see what happens. If it
is a spirit that is compelling you, this will probably get rid of it.
Greg