Donate to the widows and orphans fund?

[blackribbon]

I was buying some Christmas presents at a Christian bookstore and at the end of the purchase, I was asked if I wanted to donate a dollar to the widows and orphans fund? I looked at the cashier and said "I am one of those widows." She paused and said, "Then you understand the need they have." I asked her if she knew who a new widow could contact to get help from their "widows and orphans fund", and she couldn't answer.

I remember shortly after I moved my kids, our new church was doing a drive to raise money for "widows and orphans"....nothing like listening to my kids ask me for money for this fund...money I didn't have. Fast forward a few years...my kids wanted to go on a church retreat...I am a full time student and wasn't quite sure how I could pay for two kids, so I asked my son to ask his leader if there were any scholarships or partial scholarships available. The leader wanted to know why we needed the money. In a moment of weakness, I actually felt the need to explain our finance state to my 17 year old so he could explain it to his pastor. To this day, I am very resentful that I actually did that...my kids got a scholarship that was about 20% of their cost. Next year, I will probably just skip it if I can't afford it.

Obviously widows and orphans only live in other countries or are old women. I am getting tired of the church as a social body.

 

[Willie T]

I think we have missed the Biblical points here.

One, in those days, widows and orphans didn't have two coins to rub together... period. If the church, or their families, didn't care for them, they starved.

Two, even the widow in the story Jesus told gave the tiny amount of money she happened to have. The focus was the selfless act of giving, not a matter of who needed some money the most.

 

[RDKirk]

A quick pedantic point: Proper translation of the scriptures is "widows and the fatherless." We usually think of "orphan" as someone who has absolutely no family, but the scripture says "fatherless," which includes the children of single mothers.

God has consistently told His people to keep care of those persons who are economically vulnerable because in the fallen world they do not have the full range of family support that they should have.

I didn't say, specifically, "poor." I said "economically vulnerable." That's why Paul--having the task of actually managing churches filled with the natural social messiness of real people--erected some guidelines.

I have been a member of many congregations because my military career moved me around a lot. I've only been a member of one--Calvary Chapel of Honolulu--that actually kept a "widow's list." In keeping with the proper reading of "fatherless," it was a "Widow's and Single Mother's List."

This was not necessarily a list of people on the dole. This was a list of people we could expect to be economically vulnerable. We men of the congregation checked on them, made sure they were okay.

For instance, when a hurricane threatened the island, we made sure their windows got taped and boarded, or made sure they got evacuated (depending on where they lived). We helped them take advantage of any public services that were available. We just made sure they were okay, as any good brother or son would do.

But we had to know who they were and make sure no one was overlooked. Thus: A Widow's and Single Mother's List.

 

[Willie T]

This is almost SOP at most CC's and Vineyards.

 

[blackribbon]

I think we have missed the Biblical points here.

One, in those days, widows and orphans didn't have two coins to rub together... period. If the church, or their families, didn't care for them, they starved.

Two, even the widow in the story Jesus told gave the tiny amount of money she happened to have. The focus was the selfless act of giving, not a matter of who needed some money the most.

In what state do you believe most young widows are in the US?

I was a stay-at-home homeschooling mom with zero work experience for 12 years when my husband died. I couldn't think straight for almost 6 months and was prone to crying for no reason for over a year (grief and PTSD)...not exactly "new employee" material.

Luckily, I qualified for Social Security benefits but even then, it was less than half of what we had been living on (with only one less family member). We did not live beyond our means and luckily except for a car payment and our mortage, were debt free. His funeral cost $12,000 (a fairly basic one) which was more than 25% of the small insurance policy that we got from his employer. I was tremendously financially better off than most young widows.

The hospital bill sitting that arrived before I even buried him was for $99,000. This wasn't even the last bill I received. (Luckily we had much better than average health insurance.)

Ironically, most people seem to think we get big life insurance policies. Unfortunately, my husband's first diagnosis was made when he was very young and he never qualified for life insurance after that.

 

[blackribbon]

One young widow I know was following her husband when his car was hit so violently that he was basically decapitated. She saw all the after effects with their 9 month old baby on her hip. In order to pay for his funeral, she basically emptied the contents of their house onto her yard and held a garage sale. Her closest friends followed behind her and returned things into her home that she was going need to survive. S
Several years later when she tried to set up their computer in her new home, she found out that she had sold cables and pieces of that computer that she needed to make it function.

 

[blackribbon]

Another widow I knew (luckily without children) came home from planning her 29 year old husband's funeral to find out that her inlaws had gone through their home and claimed anything they wanted without asking her. They had a key because they were renting the home from his parents.

The mother actually left a note on her new doorstep saying that the wife should turn over the ashes since her husband had "belonged" to the mother longer than he belonged to the wife.

 

[blackribbon]

Another widow found herself running a whole farm on her own after her husband died....while trying to keep their children from self-distructing with grief.

Another widow found herself owning a business that she wasn't legally allowed to own anymore since the state required a certain professional license to own that business. Her husband had an advanced degree and she had none...but 15 employees lives were dependent that business...and their home maintance expenses were based on his high income job.

 

[RDKirk]

Another widow found herself owning a business that she wasn't legally allowed to own anymore since the state required a certain professional license to own that business. Her husband had an advanced degree and she had none...but 15 employees lives were dependent that business...and their home maintance expenses were based on his high income job.

That could happen to any successful insurance agent, for instance.

 

[blackribbon]

I think we have missed the Biblical points here.

One, in those days, widows and orphans didn't have two coins to rub together... period. If the church, or their families, didn't care for them, they starved.

Two, even the widow in the story Jesus told gave the tiny amount of money she happened to have. The focus was the selfless act of giving, not a matter of who needed some money the most.

Are you saying that my kids should not have gone on their youth retreat since I didn't have a extra $250 lying around? Or are we too poor to go to our church anymore?

The girl is too young to work. I asked my son to wait on getting a job because I need him to help our family with things like getting his sister and himself to their activities and grocery shopping while I still am in school.

 

[Lindaschatting]

I am so sorry for your pain... and understand where you are coming from with your anger. Please accept a few hugs from me, please ask God for strength, it is what gets me through everything.