Doing What's Best is Draining

[suzybeezy]

I just had one of those draining days. You know those kind that take every ounce of life right out of you. When you kids drive you straight up the wall. You give all you can but in the end of the day, you're worn out.

My eldest son gave me the biggest challenge of the day, which is rare. His sixteen and loves his X-Box. He plays it all the time, but it was taking it's toll on his grades and socially. So I had to take it away from him. Well, that wasn't a pleasant ordeal. But because I'm the parent, it's my job. I don't like being the bad guy, but...it had to be done. I prefer it when their happy, but I know this is better for him. But the fussing and fighting, URGGGGHHH! You'd think I'd taken away a lung!

And his mouth! He argued with me and was such a smart mouth about it. I was so frustrated. I kept praying that God would give me the strength to endure. I told him that he was acting like someone that was addicted. He countered by saying several things that were completely out of line - many of which my husband wouldn't have even said. It was truly a challenged to get through. It was so emotionally draining. My brain is completely fried. Why isn't there a course taught on how to deal with teenagers. It takes alot of wisdom, and although I think I'm pretty smart, I don't think I have all the answers. And I don't want to make any mistakes. I love my son. I want him to be happy, but I want to do whats best for him. I know he can't understand that right now.

I finally had my mother come down and pick up the X-Box (after I removed it from his room), so the X-Box is no longer on the premises. I told him once his grades are improved, we'll discuss a visitation schedule with his X-Box. I hope that will work out.

I know I have to remain strong and firm in this. But it's very difficult for me. He knows I'm a softy and he uses that against me and can be very manipulative and persuasive. But I know that he needs me to be a stronger parent.

 

[psychoceramic]

i thinks you did awonderful job... and will pray that you have the ability to keep to your guns

 

[Katydid]

You know, he probably IS addicted. People DO get addicted to television, computer games, video games, and yes Xbox. I think you did the absolute best thing for him. Be strong, you ARE doing what is best for him.

 

[ukok]

my daughter is the same way with her music! I think that you probably did the right thing in this situation...I have had to remove the CD player from my daughters room on occassion..not due to her academic work suffering, but as discipline for the times when she has overstepped the line, perhaps by answering back or having an attitude problem with me.

God Bless.

 

[wendythepooh]

You did the right thing! My 15 year old daughter loves to read, and gets so involved that she doesn't get her chores done, and waits until the last minute to do her homework, but....I have real issues with telling her she can't read! LOL It would be much simpler if she liked something else, or even if what she would read would be something I could object to, but, no, she likes reading non-fiction books as well as fiction. So, what's a mom to do?!

WTG on standing strong with your son! They sure do know how to push our buttons!

 

[EmSchmem]

Sheesh. Little Levi is going away to military school when he is a teen

 

[suzybeezy]

Well, give the boy credit for knowing how to push my buttons. I came down the steps this morning and guess who didn't go to school? My head nearly spun off. So I'm like, get dressed and let's go, and he kept saying no, no, no. So I finally got him going with much persistence.

So now he's onto when can he have his X-Box back. And can he have it back on weekends. I told him once his grades are up, we'll discuss visitation, but not until then. School is out on May 27th, so there's not much time to get his grades up. So I hope he gets it together soon.

I'm hoping his behavior improves onces he sees I'm following through completely.

 

[lucypevensie]

What a mean mom. I bet you also don't let him eat Doritos and soda for breakfast.

Computers, video games, and television are so addictive. Once they turn the machine on they may as well be gone for the rest of the day.

Hopefully he sees what you are doing for him, if not now then in the future. I mean, you could be even meaner and allow him to skip school and flunk classes, then he'd have to do those all over again.

 

[suzybeezy]

Well he's announced the power struggle is on. He's decided that since he can't have his X-Box back, he's not going to do anything! So I've decided to hold firm. I told him there's only one way to get the X-Box back and that's to improve his grades and there's no negotiating. He said he's not going to do anything then if I don't compromise, including any of his chores or anything. He's really pushing me now. What a test! Like I said, he's usually never a problem, just he's decided to take a stand on this one.

So I told him, it's his choice not to do his school work, but when he fails, he'll pay the consequences. I told him, while he's on "strike", he has no other privileges as well. So there goes his golf outings or computer time. And if he wants to keep pushing it, he's up for his driver's license this July and that will be a big NO as well.

I guess I have to be the meany for a while until he understands he has responsibilities and understands that I'm the parent and he has to listen to me.

I'm hoping he figures it out soon because this stinks. I keep praying about it and believe I'm doing what's best, but it's very difficult.