Does your ED strive on "reasons"?

[bumblebee62331]

I've been thinking a lot about ED's lately and how they might like to strive on "reasons" - things happening, holidays, festivals, friends, parties. Like, it rears its ugly head over Christmas, then dies down and just sort of is there but not too badly, and then when Easter comes and family comes down and food is around (chocolate) it rears its head again, and then dies down and then you go out on a date and you starve, and then friends come to visit you and you starve...

Does that make sense?
My ED is always with me, but I can sort of maintain it. I still lose the weight, but at a reasonable speed and without arising suspicion. But I have friends coming to visit me next week and family coming down this weekend for Easter, and I'm in starvation mode. Does anyone else feel this way? After Easter, I will go back to maintaining with a little loss again. Hmm. My thoughts out loud. Confusing much?

Also, do you think that means its a more long-term illness? Rather than a short term? Like, people who crash and get really bad all of a sudden over a short period of time, and get hospitalised and then better. But those who maintain, then crash during holidays, but then maintain again ... it's a longer-term illness that lasts forever because they never really get to the point of crashing so much they need intervention?

 

[goldenviolet]

this makes perfect sense. infact, overeaters anonymous teaches that we should take an invetory of things and foods that trigger a bad eating habit. then they recommend you stay away from the senario or food that causes you to stumble. ofcourse they recommend a doctor assist you in your dietary choices. http://www.oa.org/index.htm

 

[bumblebee62331]

this makes perfect sense. infact, overeaters anonymous teaches that we should take an invetory of things and foods that trigger a bad eating habit. then they recommend you stay away from the senario or food that causes you to stumble. ofcourse they recommend a doctor assist you in your dietary choices. http://www.oa.org/index.htm

That's true. But it's hard to stay away from family, or friends or Christmas or Easter! (hehe)

It's good to see you back on recovery staff Dee. You've been missed!

I guess I need to think about holidays and things that might trigger me and be prepared, rather than let them catch me by surprise. It's hard but that might help. In that way, I'm still taking control, just in a more healthier way?

 

[goldenviolet]

i'm glad to be back!

i have lots of triggers too. it helps me that i can talk to my hubby about them. if you can share anything with even one person who can be your help and countability parner, it would help.

you sound like you are on the right track ...
be good to yourself, not hard on yourself about this mission of self control with food and circumstances... too much pressure is a set up for a self beating over even being tempted... would you like to dedicate this thread to building you up before the days you need to prepare for?

i'll start with assuring you that temptation inself is not something to beat yourself up over. instead of pressuring yourself, catch any critizing; and turn it into encouragement. the easiest way i know how to do this is self talk to yourself like you would to a dear friend. prepare to have encouraging things about you. like carrying a card with the scriptures that inspire you; telling atleast one person your concerns; keeping a phone number handy of one you can just call for distraction and support; remind yourself that you have the right to enjoy yourself too. focus on the things you can enjoy and focus away from what you cannot do.

and ofcourse, know that you are under the lovely care of your loving Father, who will carry you and help you succeed.

 

[bumblebee62331]

Thanks Dee
It's hard. And most of the time I feel like I don't want to even try.
But I'll think about it.

 

[goldenviolet]

you know, this isn't a fault to feel like trying is too much, or thinking it's hopeless. they aren't faults, they are symptoms. each person dealing with an ED exsperiances these things because it is part of our disorder. did you know that EDs are considered a disease in the medical word? i'm going to point this out, because i think it's good to be reminded that being obsessed, being pre-occupied, and being out of control are a part of our battle. you are not alone.

being in recovery means to be healed or learn to manage the best that you know how.

so, you need to focus on what you do have. are you learning about yourself? this is a stage of recovery. everyone has their own time table of recovery. you maybe discouraged and fearful of the days comming; but your goal is one day at a time. keep your thoughts on what you do have. today. right now. you see what i see? i see a young woman who should be proud of herself. in her recovery process, she is being honest, reaching out, trying to set a plan for herself.... she is you! you are doing the best you can for right now. except yourself. except that you are doing good. focus on what you do have. let the Lord take care of the rest.

 

[Soulwings]

Kate, that makes sense in my mind, although mine thrives not on holidays (we don't really do anything huge to celebrate, so I just ignore the food and stick to my meal plan), but on stress. If I am having a hard time, then I automatically go into "restriction mode." I even make plans to not eat ...... that's kind of a secret, no one else in my life knows that, unless my fiance does ...... so sometimes I really am sabotaging myself. I refuse to withdraw from uni - which is what Jarrod thinks I ought to do - because I'm too proud and because it is my main stressor ....... and anyway, I would get stressed in anything I do in life. I'm just that way. I don't relax unless I have a specific time to set aside and know that I don't have anything else I'm supposed to get done in that time frame. The rest of the time I am either zooming around campus doing things (that will be today), or studying and doing homework and feeling terrible, and consequently skipping supper, which is nearly a quarter of my daily caloric intake.

I don't know if that's quite what you meant.... but it felt good to type it out, nonetheless.

 

[bumblebee62331]

Please can this thread be closed?

 

[goldenviolet]

ofcourse sweetheart. if you need it opened again, just let us know.

pm me anytime. love you! with prayers, dee