Does the fear ever leave?

[marli]

I honestly believe my father's sorry, but being the sort of person he is, he would never admit it even if he were. Sometimes he comes up to me and asks me, "Every other father's little girl loves her father, why are you so cold to me?" And I reply, "How can you expect me not to be?" He asks me for hugs, telling me, "You see how [insert neighbor's name here] always gives her mother a hug before she goes to school. Why don't you?"

Life has gone on normally, and everyone in my house pretends nothing's ever happened. But whenever I try to give him a hug, my skin prickles and I remember how much I feared him at one point in time. I remember his harsh words and the scars on my back that make me afraid to wear swimsuits every summer. I simply can't do it, and even if I went through the motions, I can't feel it.

 

[luv4godremains]

I wish I could say yes, but honestly, I don't know, I don't think there are many people who know the answer to that. It probably is different for each and every person! it depends on how you deal with things and how God wants to use your experiences, and how the Devil uses things against you!
I doubt this has helped, but I'm glad if it has!
God bless
I hope your fear does go soon!

 

[Katie12]

Honestly i cant say yes,becuase mine hasnt,i mean i can give hugs but its like really weird when i do or if some one reaches for me i like flinch.I dont like it.But i agree with love4godremains,it depends how God uses it and how you deal with it.I pray all the time to help me get away from the pain,it does help but still i hurt sometimes,and the fear of things,always happens.Fear stinks,but everyone deals with it,but i dont know if my fear is gone yet,but im hopeing it will soon,and i hope ill stop hurting too.Not sure if this has helped,but just so you know you can pm me anytime you'd like. .




Blessed Be,
Katie

 

[Houston09]

I still have the fear of seeing the man that assulted me. The fear is still in me, but its not as stong anymore. I have found other ways to overcome whats happened. But i do see that in getting rid of my own fear ive become a harder person. I agree with Katie12 and love4godremains.

 

[marli]

Thanks, everyone. I guess deep down I know that eventually I will overcome it, and it's something that takes time. I'm reminded of that saying, that courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability and will to carry out what needs to be done despite fear. I'm not sure what God intends me to use and deal with it yet, but I will pray on it.

 

[Tamara77777]

Hi Just wanted to make a quick response, to say that as you ask the Lord, He will heal you from this abuse. As you also learn about your heavenly father's love and care for you, it will help you too.

I have had alot of fear...and have this plaque, "Fear knocked on the Door, Faith answered, NO ONE WAS THERE".

In this case, you have had reasons to fear, but as you allow the Lord in theDoor of your heart, and invite Him and allow him to bring a deep healing, he will also help you with unforgiveness, and bitterness and resentments that have occurred. Many of them probably are suppressed, but if you TRUST God to heal you, He can/will bring a healing, victory in your life, and help you to have a 'restored' relationship with your dad. It is sad, cause your dad has caused alot of this himself, but perhaps God has changed him too....maybe something you both can talk out as time allows...and God does a deeper healing in your heart. Blessings! Tamara77777

I honestly believe my father's sorry, but being the sort of person he is, he would never admit it even if he were. Sometimes he comes up to me and asks me, "Every other father's little girl loves her father, why are you so cold to me?" And I reply, "How can you expect me not to be?" He asks me for hugs, telling me, "You see how [insert neighbor's name here] always gives her mother a hug before she goes to school. Why don't you?"

Life has gone on normally, and everyone in my house pretends nothing's ever happened. But whenever I try to give him a hug, my skin prickles and I remember how much I feared him at one point in time. I remember his harsh words and the scars on my back that make me afraid to wear swimsuits every summer. I simply can't do it, and even if I went through the motions, I can't feel it.

 

[reeann]

you can forgive, but you can also have boundaries. I don't think after what you went through physically hugging your father is good idea. I'm not God though, but I think God wants you to forgive and heal. You do not have to do anything your not comfortable with

 

[God'sPrincess]

It hasn't gone away for me...although, I was adopted out of my situation. Even still, I have problems with wearing bathing suits and giving hugs to guys. I can't imagine the situation that you are in hun....

 

[Johnnz]

Unless your dad shows some very deep evidence of change and really confesses to you you cannever have an untroubled relationship with him. A safe relationship requires both parties to honour and respect each other. Without that, there will be limits.

Your fear may dwindle as you age (you don't give your age, but I am assuming you are quite young) and move away. Then you can place limits more easily.

God can change you too, but that still will not take away the necessity for a good relationship to be based on mutual love and respect, and he must demonstarte those for quite a long time before you can even begin to change.

John
NZ

 

[Ssarl]

My fear has left, praise God. Neither real people nor voices in my head have the ability to indimidate me now, whatever they were able to do in the past.

God did this, of that I am sure. I am blessed that this has happened; I only hope that He will come through for all of you. To tell the truth, I feel really guilty posting this because mine is working out ok... :S Pretty twisted, like survivor's guilt I guess...

 

[marieg]

Overcoming fear can be done, its about facing those fears and allowing God to speak truth into us. Then taking hold of that truth and speaking it out, you may have to do it many times to start with but as time goes on that fear will subside. Its called renewing your mind.

I hope this helps

marieg