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Does talking about things really help?
- Thread starter oneandlonely
- Start date
justcallmejamie
Well-Known Member
i dont know if "talking" helps, dont talk to just anyone, it is important for you to reconcile your pain to God, there is definately a process to it, just make sure your counselor is Godly and always leads you back to: Jesus has set you free and that forgiveness is key to your healing process, not easy but what is? Pray about that counselor and ask God to place you with who he wants you with, the road to recovery is not easy and it doesnt feel good at first but soon you will take all of your experiences and see them through the light of Jesus, then you will begin to see your healing. You will begin to experience the freedom in Christ. Sorry for your hurt.
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flautist
Little Princess
Counseling is not for everyone. I have never been to counseling. However, it is VERY important to talk about it. Don't hold it all inside. It's too much for a person to handle completely on their own. I was lucky to have a great online support group and my fiance to help me through.
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thepianist
Well-Known Member
I am very sorry for what happened to you, Bethany. My daughter has just been through the abuse part and we're in the midst of the court part. It started when she was 9 and continued until she was a little over 10 - the boy was arrested in March. My baby has been quite positive she doesn't want to talk to anybody else about what happened....but at the same time, I see a need for her to do so. She has an almost unreasonable anger - at times - and I really believe it will be best for her to talk about it at least some. Thank goodness a victim can get help at any time during their life - at least it's that way in our state.
You will be in my prayers, dear. You need them. May God grant you the strength you need to get through this part of your life.
You will be in my prayers, dear. You need them. May God grant you the strength you need to get through this part of your life.
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shazabella
Senior Veteran
Hey Bethany,
I found that the best thing you can do is surround yourself with people who know what you are going thru whether it be us on CF , people in RL , a counsellor or even a survivors support group ie www.pandys.org. Counselling is good - if you are ready for it and don't expect it to be a quick fix it does take time and it does hurt but it can be worth it ... if you are ready
I noticed you've got msn - add me if you want. Things will get better bethany
- Shaz
I found that the best thing you can do is surround yourself with people who know what you are going thru whether it be us on CF , people in RL , a counsellor or even a survivors support group ie www.pandys.org. Counselling is good - if you are ready for it and don't expect it to be a quick fix it does take time and it does hurt but it can be worth it ... if you are ready
I noticed you've got msn - add me if you want. Things will get better
bethany - Shaz
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ThankyouJesus
Well-Known Member
oneandlonely said:I am kinda scared to post this... but...
I was sexually abused when I was 8. I never told anyone until recently. I have only really talked about what happened with one person (Mr.Cheese).
Then a week ago, I told my youth pastor's wife, Ambry. I was so scared to tell her, because I don't want to deal with what happened. But Ambry wants me to go to counselling and talk about everything. I am just so scared to!! I am so scared to talk about everything. I don't want to thing about things.
So I guess my question is this. For those of you who have been to counselling, did it help? How does talking about things help?
I just don't understand how it is going to help me any
Bethany
Bethany, I am so sorry ~ oh this gets me mad ~ sorry ~ emotional ~ gets me upset still ~
listen sweetie ~ you need to get it out ~ I kept it in for years and it ruined me until I let it out ~ the sooner the better ~ a counselor is a good idea ~ I also talk to other woman or in your case girls which have meetings on this subject and it really helped me ~
I have gone and still go through it ~ but by getting it out it made ne stronger ~ I wasn't bound to this thing in me ~ it is not your fault ~ it is his ~ and just think for a minute ~ if he did it to you he could do it to someone else ~ speak up sweetie ~ it feels better.
I am so so sorry and if you need to talk pm me anytime
my heart goes out to you so much
I will pray for you
peace in Christ
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justcallmejamie
Well-Known Member
oneandlonely said:Thanks so much everyone.
I don't feel like I am ready for counselling, but then again I am not sure I am ever going to be ready to talk about it.
It is just so hard to deal with today. I remembered something new about 2 hours ago, and now i can't get my mind off of it.
I don't know waht to do
Bethany
oh honey rest in the arms of Jesus, tell him how much it hurt and remember you are whole and complete because of what Christ did on the cross. Thats what i meant by reconciling your pain to God, he knows it hurts and he knows you were treated badly, let Christ wash you with his word, pray and let God lead you to some scripture...God is with you.
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whitelightofpisces
Active Member
Bethaney, none of us are going to want to talk about a past that hurt us... I know that I don't... Talking to those who are closest to you will help a little bit, But I have found that no matter what the circumstance, writing helps me a great deal and so I do it a lot... Once I get the site finalized I will PM you a site that explains my life(as horrible as it is)........ I know doing what you've done takes a lot of courage(I've ben through something all to similar)so congrats.... You have done very well.
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counsellin might not be the way to go for you..but i gaurantee you talking about it does help its like a realse its helps you get everything out anyways i wish you the best of luck
god bless
god bless
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silentpoet
Contributor
I can't say talking always helps. Some people can say some pretty unhelpful things. This is not to say it is without value, just that it is not a panacea to solve all your problems. Some people can really help you with their words and advice and encouragement. I think for healing there needs to be big doses of prayer and in response big doses of grace. Because sexual abuse can leave some pretty dark stains on you. It is hard to get past that damage without grace.
one of the hardest things for me is forgiveness. I am just now, over 25 years later overcoming this barrier and was able to offer some forgiveness to my abuser this year. Not that I have seen here in that long, but I was able with God's guidance and grace, to forgive her. Now I still carry the scars and what she did to me may never fully go away, but I am remarkably able to not hold that against her. I am sure it is from God, because I know in myself I would not be able to do that.
I think with this problem, you can journey quite deep into grace. I know I have to, or I would not be able to live. And please be able to forgive yourself for whatever darkness you hold inside as a result of the abuse. I know I have directed great bitterness at myself for the thought patterns and even sins the abuse has caused to grow within me. Just ask for and accept God's forgiveness when you feel especially harsh on yourself. I do know God loves you.
one of the hardest things for me is forgiveness. I am just now, over 25 years later overcoming this barrier and was able to offer some forgiveness to my abuser this year. Not that I have seen here in that long, but I was able with God's guidance and grace, to forgive her. Now I still carry the scars and what she did to me may never fully go away, but I am remarkably able to not hold that against her. I am sure it is from God, because I know in myself I would not be able to do that.
I think with this problem, you can journey quite deep into grace. I know I have to, or I would not be able to live. And please be able to forgive yourself for whatever darkness you hold inside as a result of the abuse. I know I have directed great bitterness at myself for the thought patterns and even sins the abuse has caused to grow within me. Just ask for and accept God's forgiveness when you feel especially harsh on yourself. I do know God loves you.
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hun, abuse thrives in your silence, it thrives in your shame, it thrives in your fear. definitely talk about; definitely express your concerns. it may have happened a while ago, but trust the judgement of your pastor and your parents (include them if you haven't already) as they work with you.
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Stephanida
Unworthy Handmaid of God
Big safe headed your way!
I don't know if he would have to report it. I can't see why he would especially if you don't tell him who did it. My priest did report it but that is because I was in immediate danger and if he didn't report it I would have been r***d again. It was a family friend in my case.
I have been in councelling and it has helped sooooo much. If you want someone your age to talk to who has been there PM me anytime!!!
headed your way!I don't know if he would have to report it. I can't see why he would especially if you don't tell him who did it. My priest did report it but that is because I was in immediate danger and if he didn't report it I would have been r***d again. It was a family friend in my case.
I have been in councelling and it has helped sooooo much. If you want someone your age to talk to who has been there PM me anytime!!!
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Safe in the lord!Stephanida said:Big safe
I don't know if he would have to report it. I can't see why he would especially if you don't tell him who did it. My priest did report it but that is because I was in immediate danger and if he didn't report it I would have been r***d again. It was a family friend in my case.
I have been in councelling and it has helped sooooo much. If you want someone your age to talk to who has been there PM me anytime!!!
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