Does she like me?

[college4christ81]

I have a friend that I have known for almost a year coming up at the first of the year. She and I were talking last Saturday when she asked if she could buy me a Christmas present, and then asked what kinda snack food I like to eat. When I responded that I'd like to get her a present she responded that my presence in around her was enough of a present. So the question is does she like me? I've liked her for a while now, but sometimes its on again and off again. First when I was attracted to her she was dating another guy, and now she is single.

The other reason I flip flop on liking her is that we keep agreeing to hang out but then she ussually cancels. Also I try to keep in touch with her but she will go weeks or months of just not returning phone calls or picking up the phone when I call. I'm not the only one she does this to, and she has told me not to take her bad habbit of not calling or picking up the phone personal, and I try not to however its hard when she isn't consistent as a friend. I plan to get her a Christmas present, and I hope to give it to her.

Also I believe that in the end God has to direct me on wheather or not she likes me and if I should ask her out but I wanted some opinions of christians and hopefully christian girls. Also how do I build more of a relationship with her when I have a hard time staying in contact with her?

 

[college4christ81]

I should add that she also Bought me a ticket to a concert back in March. She even insisted that I go. Lol and the crazy thing was she did this while dating her present ex boyfriend back then. I didn't understand why she didn't it till I asked her why she wanted me to go with her to the Christian concert and she said because she wanted a friend to go with and because she enjoys having me as a friend. I am trying not to take her most recent comments of giving me a present as a sign of her liking me but I guess how do I know if she does give me a sign? She is really very genuine and down to earth and does alot of nice things for people so I am not sure when I should ever take her actions or comments as more then a friend. All I know is to trust God to do the right thing and to direct me.

 

[lilray]

either she's:
A- not interested in being more than friends or
B- is flipflopping on being interested just like you are

save the friendship and forget a relationship... at least for now.

 

[invisiblebabe]

*shrug* If the girl in question were me, yeah I'd probably be interested in you if I were acting like that. Sounds like she's also confused about how she feels, though. Maybe she just doesn't know what she wants.... girls can be that way sometimes, too

 

[the_man]

The better question is do you like her? I think you need to make up your mind as to how you feel about her...instead of allowing that to be dependant on how she responds to you. Once you've made up your mind, then you know what you will do.

 

[college4christ81]

Yes I like her. I see where you are coming from on that. I guess if I am going back and forth then how could a relationship be stable right? I sometimes deny I like her I think because I one last time I was interested in asking her out she started dating some other guy, then when I liked her again she was breaking up with this guy but wasn't interested in another relationship form what I gathered. But yeah I like her, just I want it to be more then liking her personality or her good looks. I know she is a Christian, and she has encouraged me in my walk with God. As have I also encouraged her in her walk with God. I guess I may also be afraid to take risks. Um.... Not sure...what to think.

 

[the_man]

Yes I like her. I see where you are coming from on that. I guess if I am going back and forth then how could a relationship be stable right? I sometimes deny I like her I think because I one last time I was interested in asking her out she started dating some other guy, then when I liked her again she was breaking up with this guy but wasn't interested in another relationship form what I gathered. But yeah I like her, just I want it to be more then liking her personality or her good looks. I know she is a Christian, and she has encouraged me in my walk with God. As have I also encouraged her in her walk with God. I guess I may also be afraid to take risks. Um.... Not sure...what to think.

I see. Well, what I actually meant is that, whether she likes you or not should not determine your like for her. i.e. if you make up your mind and like her then you will act accordingly. Only after that can you base your next course of action on her reaction towards you (i.e. if she returns the affection, a relationship blossoms, if she doesn't, you shoudn't hold on to liking her).

What you should not do is try to convince yourself that you like her...that in itself implies you are not interested enough in her for a serious relationship. If that is the case "do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."

 

[cnhn9801]

I agree with invisiblebabe. It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants either. Maybe since a good part of your friendship has had her dating different people, you should just concentrate on making it a more solid friendship. Pray about it, too!

 

[Living4Him03]

I don't know her, but why would you want a girl who is not a very good friend? If she's a fair weather friend, as she seems to be, why even want to date her?

 

[college4christ81]

Well she is more then a fair wheather friend. I would consider her a good friend, but the trouble is she has a habbit to not pick up the phone if you call her, not call back from messages left on her cell phone and so on. She admits its a bad habbit and a few people have said she does this to them too....so I know its not just me. But I consider her a good friend.

 

[Breetai]

You are just friends with her. You know it and she knows it. She actually does seem like a pretty decent girl though. I'd start to make some very forword moves on her, pronto.

When I responded that I'd like to get her a present she responded that my presence in around her was enough of a present.

That's awesome. I advise that you buy a nice bouquet of flowers, probably not roses but do get some very nice stuff in there, sign it 'from your good friend' or something like that. When you give them to her, give her a nice big hug and look her deep in the eyes. If she doesn't freak out at this point, then she totally likes you(that means kiss her). If she does back away, then you've lost nothing and still have her as a friend(so tough it out and find other girls to chase after).

 

[college4christ81]

She actually does seem like a pretty decent girl though. I'd start to make some very forword moves on her, pronto.

Thank you that seems like good advice, I think I may do that. She and I agreed to get togethor after we were on Christmas break I think I could try and make a move then, and that allows me enough time to make sure I am doing Gods will.

I advise that you buy a nice bouquet of flowers, probably not roses but do get some very nice stuff in there, sign it 'from your good friend' or something like that.

Again good idea but yeah I agree I need to be settle with the message I am sending. Again I wanna take this to God....but I like your idea. You and many other posts here have helped me to look at this whole thing from diffrent angles to take the whole process. Any other tips or advice is welcome.

 

[Breetai]

Again good idea but yeah I agree I need to be settle with the message I am sending. Again I wanna take this to God....but I like your idea. You and many other posts here have helped me to look at this whole thing from diffrent angles to take the whole process. Any other tips or advice is welcome.

I think that you have just given yourself the best advice that you will ever receive here; take it to God and settle with the message that you are sending. Just remember that you have to decide on what that message is. Not even God can decide that for you, since that same God has given you the will to do so.

 

[JPPT1974]

Well that is good you consider her a good friend. But I guess she is shy and kind of embarrassed and to be honest. You can't really blame her a bit.

Well she is more then a fair wheather friend. I would consider her a good friend, but the trouble is she has a habbit to not pick up the phone if you call her, not call back from messages left on her cell phone and so on. She admits its a bad habbit and a few people have said she does this to them too....so I know its not just me. But I consider her a good friend.

 

[ABOOT03]

Why can't the asking thingy be flip flopped....Guy I know you all hear me when I say debating on whether to ask out a girl or not is probably among the hardest decisions we will ever have to make. In response to the orignal question I would probably have to say that she just wants to be good friends, however she does wonder, and is testing to see if there is any interest on your part. She to probably flirts around with the idea of being interested in you, and probably battles the same question which is should we savor the friendship, or risk it on a more personal relationship such as dating or otherwise.
Just my two cents from limited experience on the topic.

 

[Breetai]

I know you all hear me when I say debating on whether to ask out a girl or not is probably among the hardest decisions we will ever have to make.

It definetely used to be. Now it's not hard at all.