does it really bother God when I cut?

[alilsa]

TRIGGER What do you believe about how God would feel about my cutting? I mean, a month ago, I cut my arm bad at work but I didn't think about anybody seeing me cut when I was in the freezer. But God saw me upset and cutting myself. I couldn't make the pain and panic stop and I thought cutting would shock me into enough pain to stop the panic but I felt nothing. I later thought about the fact that most likely, I wouldn't cut myself in front of my pastor though. But it didn't occur to me at the time that I could be hurting God alot and he watched me cut. God stopped the pain for me and took it, so now, I'm scared because I didn't mean to hurt him. If you think that cutting in front of your best friend may upset them or hurt them, think how much it really hurts God to see someone cut and know they didn't trust him enough to talk to him. Sometimes, God told me to put it down and talk to him instead of stuffing things inside.

 

[daughteroftheking1983]

Thats a really good point. I am always very careful not to do it in front of anyone as I think that they would find it very upsetting...yet I do it in front of God evertime. I didn't realise that untill your post. Thanks for pointing that out; it has given me a lot to think about! Bless you.

 

[goldenviolet]

i love your post alilsa what a lovely fruit for you to produce by sharing the your conviction and heart. isn't God lovely to use us to bless others! praise God for the blossoms of your post!

before Jesus was crucified, he prayed and accooding to scripture:
Luke 22:44
And Jesus being in agony, prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

sweethearts, he gave His own life and for you:
Acts 20:28
Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.

He sees us as a Father to his children... the Father that has given everything to us for our health and freedom; blood of His blood... He sees us as a Creator... a master of a beautiful master piece; a lovely and priceless work of art... a treasure. He sees us as saved... our King; we His bride... a lamb to be cared for, a lovely bride to be made His own.

 

[justcallmejamie]

i am so glad you are being brought nearer to Jesus, he is supremely "into you" alilsa..like he cant stop thinking about you for even a moment, he is with you in the freezer, he weeps with you. He knows your anxious thoughts, he knows why you cut. he knows you, he made you, it hurts him becuase you are hurt...he can handle it, he already took one heck of a beating, he is hurt becuase of your anguish, he cares for you more than himself..he gives himself away. for you, for who you were when you were a young girl and who you are now and everyday inbetween. You were the joy set out before him, you are why he endured the cross, believe it, accept it (there is a difference), he calls you a royal diadem...he has been in love with you since the beginning.

 

[Mayflower1]

TRIGGER What do you believe about how God would feel about my cutting? I mean, a month ago, I cut my arm bad at work but I didn't think about anybody seeing me cut when I was in the freezer. But God saw me upset and cutting myself. I couldn't make the pain and panic stop and I thought cutting would shock me into enough pain to stop the panic but I felt nothing. I later thought about the fact that most likely, I wouldn't cut myself in front of my pastor though. But it didn't occur to me at the time that I could be hurting God alot and he watched me cut. God stopped the pain for me and took it, so now, I'm scared because I didn't mean to hurt him. If you think that cutting in front of your best friend may upset them or hurt them, think how much it really hurts God to see someone cut and know they didn't trust him enough to talk to him. Sometimes, God told me to put it down and talk to him instead of stuffing things inside.

Dear alilsa, I have done the same thing before. Cutting is a sin but sometimes we just get so weak, we cannot control ourselves. "All sin and fall short of the glory of God..." We should try to go to God first before we cut. I believe that if we trust in Him and pray to Him, we can defeat this... Guilt just leads to more cutting and sin though so just pray for forgiveness, pray a prayer of Thanksgiving, and don't give up, for God has a plan for you and He is not going to let you fall in the end. Just hang on and don't give up! I will pray for you my friend. Best Wishes. Lily00

 

[rfprewitt]

I wonder if God really even cares.

 

[IKTCA]

I read today the following Bible passage:

A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard.....
For three years I have come looking for fruit......
Still I find none. Cut it down..................

The gardener replied,
"Sir, let it alone for one more year.......
If it does not bear fruit next year,
you can cut it down."

I called Jesus my Lord and Savior when I was 37 years old. The man gave the fig tree 4 years to bear fruit. But my Lord waited for me 37 years. 37 years is a long, long time. It took him 37 years of constant loving until he finally heard from me, "Lord, I love you."

Why he waited that long I do not know. After all, he said he would wait for 4 years. Each year, he must have said to himself, "I will love him one more year. He will recognize my love by then, and love me."

I don't know if God cares about your cutting or not. But he is waiting and waiting until you come to him and confess, "I love you Father." And you are not even 37 years old.

Rupert

 

[jesuschickseven]

Of course God cares about you and the ways you hurt yourself! He loves you (John 3:16) and does not want to see you in any kind of pain inside or out!
He wants to take care of you and hold you in his arms while you cry. If you feel that God doesn't care about you then you haven't truly been in his prescence.
Take some time to ask yourself if have ever gotten down on your knees and cried out to God. Have you confessed all your sins and told him your fears and hurts and worries? Have you asked him to save you and show himself to you? Have you really cast out all your pride and selfish desires and just trusted him to take care of your every need?
The Lord may not seem like he is there because he is standing behind you waiting for you to turn around and take the last step toward him, so he can change you and your life.
Lift your eyes to heaven and believe.....God cannot hear you if you do not speak...
I'm praying for you

 

[rfprewitt]

I read today the following Bible passage:

A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard.....
For three years I have come looking for fruit......
Still I find none. Cut it down..................

The gardener replied,
"Sir, let it alone for one more year.......
If it does not bear fruit next year,
you can cut it down."

I called Jesus my Lord and Savior when I was 37 years old. The man gave the fig tree 4 years to bear fruit. But my Lord waited for me 37 years. 37 years is a long, long time. It took him 37 years of constant loving until he finally heard from me, "Lord, I love you."

Why he waited that long I do not know. After all, he said he would wait for 4 years. Each year, he must have said to himself, "I will love him one more year. He will recognize my love by then, and love me."

I don't know if God cares about your cutting or not. But he is waiting and waiting until you come to him and confess, "I love you Father." And you are not even 37 years old.

Rupert

Of course I love God. I just lose hope sometimes. More than I should. More than I want to. Did you ever want something so bad you cried whenever you thought about it? That is what happens when I think about being free. I mean truly free. When will I ever be free from myself...from my past....from my life? I may not be 37 years old, but I know that time is ticking away, and I may not live to see tomorrow. Only the Lord knows. I also know that a life in bondage is no life at all, and every day I stay entangled in this web of lies, deceit, and self-hate I get deeper and deeper in bondage to the world and to Satan, and that is no life for a child of God to live. I have been saved from hell and eternal damnation, but I wonder when Jesus will save me from my worst enemy of all....myself. Sorry. I don't normally write this much.

 

[jesuschickseven]

You have to believe that God is more powerful than yourself! His love is greater than the fears and resentment you have for yourself. Focus on his love and ignore everything else! Satan's #1 weapon is distracting you from God long enough to tempt you or torment you. Keep your eyes on God and don't look right or left. This world holds nothing for you, don't give it the pleasure of having you attention. Only God deserves your devotion and the greatest gift you could give him right now is to love him more than you hate yourself.
May God be with you

 

[rfprewitt]

An interesting thing happened today. I went and met with a charismatic pastor. He said the answer to my problem was being filled with the Holy Spirit.

 

[IKTCA]

That is interesting. Have you give some thoughts to that?

Rupert

 

[rfprewitt]

I'm not sure what to think about it. From my life experience I know that there is an evil far beyond what most people understand or know about. So there has to be a power so much greater than that because Christ says that we have overcome. However in the time that I have been actively following Christ, I haven't found that power and I am still harassed by the evil that once controlled my life. Right now I'm just wondering whether it's worth a shot...If it works, then there is real freedom...not just the "struggling to get by another day" kind of freedom; but the "that thought hadn't even crossed my mind" kind of freedom. Does that make sense?

 

[IKTCA]

...If it works, then there is real freedom...not just the "struggling to get by another day" kind of freedom; but the "that thought hadn't even crossed my mind" kind of freedom. .....

You have already given it a thought. Once a person is filled with the Holy Spirit, he will no longer have to struggle to fight every little thing, for example, cutting, hating, resenting, being angry, losing temper, back stabbing, uncontrolled eating, despairing, falling in the matters of the past, etc.

Have you done hiking? If you wear a slipper and try to climb on a rough trail, you will slip and fall. Hiking will be a struggle. But if you wear hiking boots, you will not slip. And the high ankle of the boots will protect you from spraining. You can actually enjoy hiking.

If climbing a rough mountain is life, being filled with the Holy Spirit is wearing hiking boots. I hope you to give it a little more thought.

Rupert

 

[rfprewitt]

I have given it thought...I'm still thinking. If you feel so inclined, you could pray that God would give me wisdom and strength to first know what He wants me to do, and second to do it.

 

[alilsa]

But to you who cut, does it ever really occur to you when you cut that God is there watching you? If you would think twice about cutting in front of your best friend, does it bother you to cut in front of God? I had received the baptism of the Holy Ghost before but it didn't just automatically make my problems disappear. I wished that it would just automaticly make me be whatever I was suppose to be and the abuse scars disappear. Even if the memories of the past just disappeared, and I just start from where I am now, I still would have trouble with love and trust because it don't come automaticly in life with salvation. I asked my pastor though what he would do if he saw me cutting. He said that he would try to talk me out of it, stop, or get the knife away from me or something. Then talk to me about God and that what I was doing wasn't loving God. I don't plan on trying him out though unless I'm really bad off though.

 

[looking2support]

To: Rfprewitt
Fr: someone who knows....

Lies, deception, pain from doing so, sometimes not knowing who you are, feeling so low that you feel almost as if you just wish you could be in heaven right now, but then knowing you have to answer to God when you get there, no way out,,,,,, what now right? Well now you have to confess. . . . In order for your soul to be free, you know as well as i do the answer is to confess all of your sins. BUT you do not have to confess them all to all the people you lied to ...... just to the most important person..... yourself....... God already knows all of your lies...... you need to confess to yourself that you lie and decieve and once you do, you need to daily change your ways. The Bible says that if you are telling the truth to say Yes, Yes, or No , No instead of swearing. Explain that to a few people you know and have them start convicting your soul with it. If you lie after that you WILL feel the conviction of Christ when someone says "Yes, Yes, you are telling me the truth about that?" ......
Just like anything else in life that requires learning, you need to train your brain to NOT lie.... See how easy is has become to lie, after re-training your brain to NOT lie, it will be easy. EXAMPLE: my Dad was prejudice and put a lot of his thoughts in my head, I told myself I will not be like him, so I re-trained my brain for years that every time I saw a person of a different color I would say to myself "that is just another man (or woman or humbly a child)" . Now years later my "brain" doesn't even think about anything when I see a person of a different color and my 7 year old doesn't even know the difference. He understands what people went through, struggles, pain etc, and says that is crazy I would have been in trouble back then.... because no one can stop me from playing with my friend Jamir.....

So in short, re-train you brain to not lie and to have hope and future generations, not just our children but future children can learn from us......

I hope this helps..... (by the way I have lied many many times and guess what , so has everyone in life.... and thier sins are no greater or lesser than mine..... yes, yes you can re-train your brain ..... )

Sincerely,
Rick (Father of 3 who will NOT be prejudice)