Do you trust internet dating?

[Canada_Girl]

If you have ever tried internet dating, what have your experiences been? Is it a "good" way to meet someone for a potential relationship? Or is it just too virtual?

Do you know of any successful marriages that have resulted from meeting online? I know it is a new phenomenon, but I wonder if statistically, marriages can be last longer through getting to know someone this way? Or is it too easy to create illusions? In the end, how well can anyone know a person anyway, regardless of how they meet?

 

[WaitinguponGod]

I think it could be ok and could work and can be a way to met someone as it can be hard as christians to meet singles especially if there arent many in your church. My young Niece has met and married someone who she met on the internet and is happily married. I think it is good not to be too virtual though ie try to exchange pictures early on and speak on the phone otherwise it is a bit fantasy like and not real. I think we need caution and to be prayerful about this. I think we need caution as it is possible to develop feelings through writing to people etc and we need to met that person before we do this.Also obviously people can lie in emails and letters!!!!

 

[GreatistheLord]

People lie about so many things online, You dont even know if you're getting a real woman.

It's best to be avoided, but I am willing to try and fail rather than die a virgin ;-)

 

[woman.at.the.well]

People lie about so many things online, You dont even know if you're getting a real woman.

It's best to be avoided, but I am willing to try and fail rather than die a virgin ;-)

Take it from the woman at the well . . .tis more honorable to die a virgin. Don't be in such a hurry for something that could lead you where you do not want to go.

 

[Canada_Girl]

I think it could be ok and could work and can be a way to met someone as it can be hard as christians to meet singles especially if there arent many in your church. My young Niece has met and married someone who she met on the internet and is happily married. I think it is good not to be too virtual though ie try to exchange pictures early on and speak on the phone otherwise it is a bit fantasy like and not real. I think we need caution and to be prayerful about this. I think we need caution as it is possible to develop feelings through writing to people etc and we need to met that person before we do this.Also obviously people can lie in emails and letters!!!!

Thanks for your input. I've tried a few different Christian sites--the freebie "trial" versions--being a little skeptical about what was out there.

To my surprise I found large pools of Christian men and women of all ages from across N. America looking for....some kind of connection to others with a common faith. I was also surprised to find out just how many sites there are for Christian singles...and maybe surprised by how many of us there are. And LOTS of divorced people.

You need a whole new set of rules for "dating" this way, especially if it is across a distance. Like how to tell if someone is lying to you? And having some kind of relationship across a distance...That makes actually meeting someone a little less realistic.

What if you do fall for someone before it sinks in exactly just how far away they are? And how do you keep feelings in check when it seems like you might have chemistry by email and phone? And then how awful it would be to actually meet and discover the person was not at all who you thought they were. Do you suppose dating this way just sets you up for more heartache?

 

[Canada_Girl]

People lie about so many things online, You dont even know if you're getting a real woman.

It's best to be avoided, but I am willing to try and fail rather than die a virgin ;-)

Yeah, I wonder how many people on Christian dating sites are just there to mess with people. I guess one can't go into it naively looking for a prince or princess, and always have to have that "red flag alert" switched on.

I've heard some awful stories about the psychos some people have met...I think though that those are in the minority...and certainly wouldn't be Christian...ooo I hope not...but I'd have to say there are a lot worse things that could happen to you than dying as a chaste single! Have you tried any sites with any positive (or negative) experiences?

Canada Girl,
single and skeptical, but shoot, so darn hopeful

 

[GreatistheLord]

Take it from the woman at the well . . .tis more honorable to die a virgin. Don't be in such a hurry for something that could lead you where you do not want to go.

I'll be carefull, but the last thing I am is in a hurry. I just mean that if it's the only chance I'll have, I'll take it.

 

[caitlincares]

I think "internet" dating is similar to the old-ish newspaper/magazine ads.

I had 3 respondents from an ad I placed MANY years ago now.
I did date one of the gents long distance thru letters and phone.
He even came and met my family and friends one Thanksgiving.
We did not end up married but I count him as one of my dearest friends to this day.

 

[Stanfi]

I think it is a good way to meet and get to talk to people. You need to be careful. I think if you take it slow, you can tell if someone is being honest and truthful with you. Do not meet someone you don't feel comfortable with. Just be upfront and honest with people. If you show someone a pic make sure it is current.

I guess in general I feel it is a good alternative for meeting people. I don't go to bars, and I wouldn't switch churches just to meet someone.

My experience with it is that most people don't bother even to respond to you.

 

[GreatistheLord]

Anyone recommend a good website.

 

[caitlincares]

Anyone recommend a good website.

Here is a previous thread from this forum: Dating sites on the internet for people over 40.

 

[bostonlass]

Went to Christianmingles.com and signed up. Posted a picture and signed on a little while ago. Got im'd by a guy. Checked out his profile and said he wanted a good Christian woman, etc. etc. Well I said hi, he said hi and then he commented "nice cleavage". I said, "geez, I thought this was a Christian site" and he said, "well you can see your cleavage in your picture so you should expect to be treated like this.

I soooooo give up. The pic was of me in a v-neck shirt. Guess I should wear a berka (sp?). IN any event I don't think that was a very loving and Christian remark.

 

[caitlincares]

Went to Christianmingles.com and signed up. Posted a picture and signed on a little while ago. Got im'd by a guy. Checked out his profile and said he wanted a good Christian woman, etc. etc. Well I said hi, he said hi and then he commented "nice cleavage". I said, "geez, I thought this was a Christian site" and he said, "well you can see your cleavage in your picture so you should expect to be treated like this.

I soooooo give up. The pic was of me in a v-neck shirt. Guess I should wear a berka (sp?). IN any event I don't think that was a very loving and Christian remark.

sweet caroline

That was not appropriate.
Certainly NOT a guy you want to deal with.

 

[redwing030]

I'm not sure about a dating website to meet a person online but I did meet my husband online. We lived about 15 minutes away from each other and after a few weeks of talking online and on the phone we met in person. Just under 3 years later we were married and have been for 1.5 years. I can't speak for everyone but I actually kinda liked it. If the person is really being true to you then you get to know them and start developing a relationship with them before you see really what they look like. I am not sure if I would have givev my husband a double take look if I'd seen him walking around them mall, but I think he was more attractive to me because I'd gotten to know him already. Another one of our friends met online and have been married for 5 years. So it can be a good way to meet someone.

 

[Canada_Girl]

Thanks for the encouraging news that Gos can use this means to bring people together! Guess it's just a matter of sorting through all the frogs (and having them for dinner rather than dinner with them ) before a prince might step forward. I guess its another learning curve--learning how to read people online.

Maybe I should start another thread on this, but what would the dating etiquette be online? Let's assume it is a Christian site and people are looking for a compatible match. What are the dangers (besides tactless men looking for cleavage, and deceptive women)? What should the process be? How long should one write to another before they meet? What kinds of questions should you ask to know whether you can trust that the other is being honest? And big question...does long distance work? Or maybe there aren't any rules?

Thanks for sharing!

I'm not sure about a dating website to meet a person online but I did meet my husband online. We lived about 15 minutes away from each other and after a few weeks of talking online and on the phone we met in person. Just under 3 years later we were married and have been for 1.5 years. I can't speak for everyone but I actually kinda liked it. If the person is really being true to you then you get to know them and start developing a relationship with them before you see really what they look like. I am not sure if I would have givev my husband a double take look if I'd seen him walking around them mall, but I think he was more attractive to me because I'd gotten to know him already. Another one of our friends met online and have been married for 5 years. So it can be a good way to meet someone.

 

[Tappanga]

Anyone recommend a good website.

Second this! I'd like some recommendations, please!

 

[hockeysistah12]

The internet may be a place where people can meet, but there is a down side to this too because people can play a con game with you and anyone can say they are a christian, but in real life, people are not the people they portray on paper. It happened to me enough to the point I almost did not trust anyone.

But as Christians, we need to be careful and not fall for any man or woman we meet online and pray for wisdom and discerment.

 

[lady_of_god]

i don't see anything wrong with it. You could meet alot of great people (like yourself). Its worth a shot

 

[hockeysistah12]

Went to Christianmingles.com and signed up. Posted a picture and signed on a little while ago. Got im'd by a guy. Checked out his profile and said he wanted a good Christian woman, etc. etc. Well I said hi, he said hi and then he commented "nice cleavage". I said, "geez, I thought this was a Christian site" and he said, "well you can see your cleavage in your picture so you should expect to be treated like this.

I soooooo give up. The pic was of me in a v-neck shirt. Guess I should wear a berka (sp?). IN any event I don't think that was a very loving and Christian remark.

The same stuff happened to me on Christian Cafe--the man wanted sex and wanted to chat and engage in cyber sex.

People, learn to use wisdom and disernment and not be fooled by these game players. Just because the site says it is christian, many of these people are not and just want to play the part.

 

[Ann Doupont]

No, I don't trust Internet dating


Ann