Do you kiss after the first date, if you're very attracted?

Blank123 · Jan 8, 2009

with my boyfriend it took us ten months to get to that first kiss (although we're in a LDR and it was on the third visit together so i guess *technically* it was like our third date )

i don't see anything wrong with kissing on the first date, i dunno if I would do it just because it tends to take me a while to become comfortable with someone to be able to show them a sign of affection like that. I'd say just read her body language and if she seems really touchy feely she probably wouldn't mind getting a kiss

Tink · Jan 8, 2009

I don't know. Every situation is different. I might.

welshman · Jan 8, 2009

I think I would only kiss her if I had asked her out officially (to be my girlfriend)...and she said yes This might mean waiting for a few dates but it'd be worth it.

lostaquarium · Jan 8, 2009

welshman said:
I think I would only kiss her if I had asked her out officially (to be my girlfriend)...and she said yes This might mean waiting for a few dates but it'd be worth it.

Yes, that's true. Then you know that she wants to be kissed It's better to wait a bit, rather than force a kiss on a poor girl who didn't want it!

My first kisser actually asked my permission... he said, "L, may I kiss you?" Grammatically correct, too. It was the sweetest thing in the world

elephunky · Jan 8, 2009

i LOVE the bit where you get to kiss lol. But i never initiate

GQ Chris · Jan 8, 2009

I'm a proactive dude, that likes to take the initiative on a lot of things, not just kissing, so I guess if a gal agrees with that philosophy, then cool. If not, she might be after a more reserved fellow.

elephunky · Jan 8, 2009

GQ Chris said:
I'm a proactive dude, that likes to take the initiative on a lot of things, not just kissing, so I guess if a gal agrees with that philosophy, then cool. If not, she might be after a more reserved fellow.

proactive is ftw

wallaby · Jan 8, 2009

i kiss before the first date. the only way im gonna be going on a date is if i already have an exclusive relationship, in most cases.

i dont think kissing is ever wrong unless the people involved dont want to be doing it.

Balugon · Jan 8, 2009

i dont plan on it and would probably reject her from doing so if i wasnt caught off guard by it. Its the first time im spending time alone with her, i need to get to know who she is. One date cant do that, nor can two. And to save myself tons of make-out sessions that lead to heartbreak later on down the road, ill just avoid the physical until i know for sure that marriage is going to happen. heh

timbo81 · Jan 8, 2009

a kiss is quite personal.

i'd rather work up to it, than try and rush it on the first date.

you know, a few dates with no contact, then a few more holding hands, then maybe a few more and we might hug.

just me.

wallaby · Jan 8, 2009

kissing isnt necessarily very personal. its up to the individual how important and intimate physical acts are. some people see kissing as just another fun activity to do on a date and dont convey deep romantic intentions with it.

Niels · Jan 9, 2009

Gwendolyn said:
I'd be upset if a guy tried to kiss me if we'd only had a few dates. If I'm only going on dates with a guy, I don't want to get physical with him. Once we've made a commitment and become exclusive, then I'd feel comfortable kissing him for the first time.

That's basically how I feel about it. The first few dates are still the "getting to know you" phase of a potential relationship. As such, it can be uncomfortable and awkward if the girl expects or demands that I kiss her so soon.

Gwendolyn said:
I'm also not the type to go on dates with someone I don't already know, though. I don't like dates being used as a "get to know you" tool. Get to know me in a regular social situation. Don't put me in a romantic situation right off the bat when I don't even know you well.

lol... wow! It almost looks like you just reversed your position. Now I can't relate. I think the primary purpose of dating is to get to know the other person, before deciding whether we are a good enough match to commit to a relationship.

EazyMack · Jan 9, 2009

Nah, I wouldn't. A date is not a relationship.

Gwendolyn · Jan 9, 2009

Miles said:
lol... wow! It almost looks like you just reversed your position. Now I can't relate. I think the primary purpose of dating is to get to know the other person, before deciding whether we are a good enough match to commit to a relationship.

Yeah, I just realised, "Why am I talking about this situation like I'd actually be in it?" 'Cause I wouldn't. lol.

I wouldn't go on a date with someone I didn't know well. I get to know a person by just hanging out and spending time together. Then if we know each other well and there are romantic feelings there maybe we could go on a date. If someone just met me and we talk a bit and stuff and then he's like "Hey, do you want to go on a date?" I'd be like "Umm... no thanks."

I guess I'm a jerk though.

Niels · Jan 9, 2009

Gwendolyn said:
Yeah, I just realised, "Why am I talking about this situation like I'd actually be in it?" 'Cause I wouldn't. lol.

I wouldn't go on a date with someone I didn't know well. I get to know a person by just hanging out and spending time together. Then if we know each other well and there are romantic feelings there maybe we could go on a date. If someone just met me and we talk a bit and stuff and then he's like "Hey, do you want to go on a date?" I'd be like "Umm... no thanks."

I guess I'm a jerk though.

A jerk? Not necessarily. If I met enough women in situations where I could just hang out with them first, I'd prefer to do it that way. Unfortunately I didn't grow up around here, most of my female friends live in other states, and work and life take up most of my 'hang out' time.

Andrew103 · Jan 9, 2009

no offense intended but this is a ridiculous question. if your very attracted to each other kissing is gonna happen. of course kissing has to be just right, but you never ask LOL and no girl has ever not liked a first kiss from me bc i play it right all the time. girls who say they wouldnt kiss on the first date or wouldnt date someone they didnt know are just waiting for the right charming guy to come alone and prove them wrong and charm them over. i can prove it any day of the week, its too easy

Andrew103 · Jan 9, 2009

Gwendolyn said:
I wouldn't go on a date with someone I didn't know well.

hey! your not a jerk
you just havent met the right guy then

deliciousBass · Jan 9, 2009

Andrew103 said:
no offense intended but this is a ridiculous question. if your very attracted to each other kissing is gonna happen. of course kissing has to be just right, but you never ask LOL and no girl has ever not liked a first kiss from me bc i play it right all the time. girls who say they wouldnt kiss on the first date or wouldnt date someone they didnt know are just waiting for the right charming guy to come alone and prove them wrong and charm them over. i can prove it any day of the week, its too easy

Man you are so cool, I want your skillz.

20MoreMiles · Jan 9, 2009

Gwendolyn said:
Wow, then I would DEFINITELY not kiss him. I don't even know him! In your scenario, I would have only been talking to him for a little while! Why would I kiss someone I don't know well, and trust? Sure, the stirrings of feelings would be there. How is he supposed to know? - uhh, I TELL him? Feelings between two people aren't supposed to be a big secret if you're going on dates, for pete's sake. I'd much rather he expressed his feelings for me rather than try to kiss me. If he just tried to kiss me without expressing his feelings in another way, I'd turn away, say goodnight, and tell him it's been a slice, but I don't want to see him again.

Kissing has never started a relationship for me. That sounds like a really strange way to start a relationship off. Why would you kiss someone you don't know well? Why would you want a relationship/commitment/whatever with someone you don't know well? It just sets things up for a lot of trouble imo, if you start dating someone you don't know well. Sure, you learn MORE about a person when you date them, but it definitely shouldn't be a means to get to know someone at all in the first place.

I knew my former boyfriend for 1.5-2 years before we got into a relationship. Maybe I'm just backwards, but that's how I roll. I prefer to be past the starry-eyed, he-can't-do-any-wrong phase. I prefer to know his flaws and not gloss them over. Butterflies are nice, but they're misleading. Having butterflies when you know a person well, you understand and acknowledge their flaws, etc.? Much better than having a simple immediate attraction to someone when you've only just met them. That fades fast.

Whoa, i'm talking about A kiss, not about asking him/her to marry you. Attraction as in being in love lasts only that long, why not enjoy it? As long as you like each other, i don't see any bad in that; whether or not he/she is the one God wants you to marry, you'll find out later.

flnativegrl said:
See, I disagree that it has to be a "romantic" environment. I could be fishing in a lake with a guy and if the moment feels right I'm going to kiss him...and there is nothing romantic about sitting next to a bucketful of fish gasping and flopping about.

FWIW, romance is nice and I personally enjoy romantic gestures...but if a guy is trying to woo me with all sorts of romantic gestures, I'm going to assume that he has one thing on his mind. Romance has its place, but when it's being used to manipulate a first kiss or something like that, it's actually a turn off to me.

Well, that's what i mean. "If the moment feel right" - that's what you gotta chase.

Manipulate? Define manipulate.

If we (men) choose a nice restaurant or setting and then take you for a walk by a nice lake or whatever, and it's enjoyable for both and makes for a nice romantic setting, how is that manipulation? It's called "having a plan" because women don't dig a man who says "well... i don't know what to do now... sorry".

Markus6 · Jan 9, 2009

Andrew103 said:
no offense intended but this is a ridiculous question. if your very attracted to each other kissing is gonna happen. of course kissing has to be just right, but you never ask LOL and no girl has ever not liked a first kiss from me bc i play it right all the time. girls who say they wouldnt kiss on the first date or wouldnt date someone they didnt know are just waiting for the right charming guy to come alone and prove them wrong and charm them over. i can prove it any day of the week, its too easy

Anyone think that a date between Andrew and Ink might possibly be the most entertaining thing ever?

Do you kiss after the first date, if you're very attracted?

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